TDA bio

Pure Bliss

Posted on March 9, 2011 Written by Tonya

I’m coming waltzing back and moving into your head – Dave Matthews

I have almost 6500 songs on my iPod. That’s 17 days of music!

For as long as I can remember I have sang along to the radio and when I was a little girl, into my brush handle in front of the mirror in my bedroom.

In elementary and high school I participated in choir.

I’ve always had the largest music collection of all my friends and I still own vinyl and cassette tapes.

I love music and have a very eclectic taste. I’ll listen to just about anything.

Music has always been a very big part of my life and the soundtrack of so many of my memories.

I have feel good songs to help lift me up when I’m feeling down:

Dirt Off Your Shoulder by Jay-Z

She Moves In Her Own Way by The Kooks

I have melancholy songs to make me sad when I need a good cry:

Pictures Of You by The Cure

You Will Make It by Jem

Fallen by Sarah McLachlan

I have songs to pump me up when I need a little extra burst of energy at the gym:

Rump Shaker by Wreckx-N-Effect

Starry Eyed Surprise – Paul Oakenfeld

I created a special play list called Wine & Conversation that we typically play when entertaining. It is comprised of tunes by artists such as: Harry Connick, Jr., Patsy Cline, Ella Fitzgerald, Bob Marley, Blue October, Sade, Feist and Jason Mraz and it helps me relax, unwind and always puts an easy smile upon my face.

I have songs that remind me of important events in my life:

Fade Into You by Mazzy Starr was playing when I got into my first car accident.

Drive by The Cars was playing the first time I slow danced with a boy.

Unforgettable by Natalie Cole was the song my father and I danced to at my wedding.

I have songs that remind me of important people in my life:

Just Like Heaven by The Cure takes me back to my college days and dancing with my roommate, Erin at frat parties and then a little later in life when we became struggling to make ends meet career women.

The moment I hear Melt With You by Modern English I instantly think of my best friend, Colleen and how much she loves this song. I swear she pees a little every time she hears it, it makes her that happy.

My father loved Everybody Wants To Rule The World by Tears For Fears and now I do too. I can always picture him swaying his hips and closing his eyes as he tried to sing along.

To pick just ONE song with significance would be down right impossible, however, there is just one song that I have played more than any other, one song’s lyrics that I carry around with me in my wallet because along with the music, this song to me is pure bliss.

Almost seven minutes long, the music starts off slow, speeds up, then slows again and doesn’t let go of me until the very last note. Acoustic guitar, bass, sax, violin, trumpet and drums all working together in perfect harmony.

The accompanying voice is powerful, sexy and strong and the lyrics, bittersweet.

Experiencing this song live is one of the most magical events of my life and I have been fortunate to witness it several times.

The song I’m referring to is #41 by the Dave Matthews Band.

This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop Prompt 5) A song with significance.

post signature

Long Live The 80’s!

Posted on February 22, 2011 Written by Tonya

My fabulous friend, Colleen turned 40 on Saturday and threw herself an 80’s-style prom party. It was an absolute blast!!

Everyone dressed up! There was lots of neon, lace, big bows, arms full of bracelets, skinny ties, flipped up collars, leg warmers and pearls. Even the 80’s cover band, that provided enough dance music to last a lifetime, Orange County’s own, Tijuana Dogs got into the spirit.

All of my girlfriends and I have been fretting about our “prom” attire for months and it turned out for many, Ebay was the way to go. Who knew?

I, on the other hand, being the pack rat that I am still have my ACTUAL Jessica McClintock prom dress! With a little alteration to the bust line, I wore it! Crazy, huh?! I couldn’t believe it still fit either. Or that I even kept it!

I tried to mimic my 80’s hair style: big and curly and make-up: blue eyeliner and mascara. Although naturally curly, my hair doesn’t quite take a curl like it used to. Even with half a canister of mousse.

The cast of characters may have changed, hopefully we are all a little wiser. There were way more beer bellies, wedding rings and crow’s feet this time around, but the music is still the same, my friends make the world a better place and I found myself wishing the party would last All Night Long, just like I did at my high school Senior prom.

THENMy prom date was my boyfriend at the time. He had just given me the watch I’m wearing as a graduation present. Lovely gift, but looks so out of place now.

NOW

Colleen and I and our rad dates.

The birthday girl and Matt, the Tijuana Dogs lead singer.

Does this pose look familiar?

Feels just like 1988!

The totally awesome birthday cake!

I must admit, I had WAY more fun at this prom than at my own back in ’91. Maybe it was the alcohol or the music, the company or the pure nostalgia of it all, but everyone had a permanent grin on their face the entire night and my legs still hurt from dancing!

One of the best parts of the whole evening was being dropped off by Todd’s mother, who was in town visiting us for the weekend.

She waited up for us too!

This post was originally for Wordful Wednesdays and if you want to link up or see some really beautiful photographs, please visit Alicia at A Beautiful Mess and see how she effortlessly turns ordinary photos into a works of art.

This post was reposted for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop, Prompt 4.) My prom dress.

Hopes, Dreams & Wishes – Redux

Posted on February 17, 2011 Written by Tonya

I wrote this piece last year when I had all of three followers and I immediately thought of it when I read this week’s Red Writing Hood’s writing prompt: Write a piece about finding a forgotten item of clothing in the back of a drawer or closet. Let us know how the item was found, what it is, and why it’s so meaningful to you or your character.

With some editing, here is Hope, Dreams & Wishes:

Long before I ever thought I’d have children and certainly long before I had Lucas, I bought this little sweater. I found it at Old Navy, of all places. It was originally $16.50 and had been marked down to $3.99. The tag is still on it.

From the moment I saw it, I thought it was precious.

Navy blue is my favorite color and I loved the adorable red heart with the arrow going through it and something came over me and I just had to have it. I remember thinking at the time while standing in the check out line, I’m nowhere near ready to have children, why on earth am I buying this?!? I don’t even have a boyfriend.

It took me a while to realize that this tiny little sweater represented something stupendous and wonderful. Something bigger than myself. Something that was yet to be. It represented where my life was going to be someday. Where my life, if I was lucky enough, was heading…

True love, romance, marriage, children, cuddles, giggles, and a lifetime of memorable firsts and happy moments.

A childhood, not unlike my own.

The sweater stayed safely wrapped in tissue paper in the bottom of my pajama drawer for years, but each February when Valentine’s Day rolls around, I remember the sweater.

Just last week, ironically the week before Valentine’s Day, I was organizing Lucas’ closet and I came across this tiny sweater. I was about to add it to the donation pile until I realized what it was.

Maybe someday we’ll have a little sister for Lucas, as the sweater is far too feminine for him to wear and at size 3-6 months, far too small for him anyway.

I gingerly put the sweater back on the hanger, returned it to the closet and there it will stay as a peaceful reminder that so many of my hopes, dreams and wishes have already come true.

Click here to read the original piece posted February 12, 2010: Hopes, Dreams & Wishes.

The Calm Before The Storm

Posted on February 16, 2011 Written by Tonya

Two weeks after my parents died in October 2007, after the dust had settled bit, the shock wore off some and the memorial service had been held, I returned to my job as a marketing manager for a trade publication.

It was what I had to do.

I needed to escape the sadness of my family, my home and the pressure of handling my parents estate. I wanted to use my brain on something I knew I was good at and be somewhere where I didn’t have to think about death or deal with my grief. I thought that getting back to my “regular” routine would help.

I was on auto pilot.

Almost a year later, in August 2008, I decided I needed to step away from my job and decompress from the roller coaster ride of emotions and tasks that I had at hand and just be with myself and my thoughts.

There was still a lot of work to be done; an estate to close and several trips to the house my sister I had inherited in Arizona. I also wanted to reconnect with family and start thinking about starting one of my own.

My husband, Todd was very supportive of my decision but I remember the day I gave my one month notice he said, your last day there, is going to be your last day there and the very next day, we are going to go on a trip. He was planning to take a week off work so we could do this, so we began plotting our adventure.

We could go anywhere!

We have both been all over the world… Europe, Africa, Asia. But this time, we decided to stay closer to home and planned a very different type of trip for us, a vacation that ended up being one of the best ones we have ever had together.

It was a road trip comprised of 1200 miles and three states.

We woke up when we woke up and got on the road that Saturday morning and drove; we had hotel reservations, but no agenda, no time line, just a navigation system.

First, we went to Las Vegas, the perfect place to get away from it all, let our hair down and have fun. We stayed at the beautiful Palazzo hotel, sipped cocktails as we lounged by the magnificent pool, saw LOVE, the Cirque du Soleil show and had a great time gambling, eating and drinking too much.Next, we headed to the Grand Canyon, a place even with all of my ties to Arizona, neither of us had ever seen before. It’s breathtaking and should be on everyone’s “Bucket List”.

We saw the Hoover Dam, ate at fun, eclectic diners along the route, visited the boarding school where I graduated from high school, on a whim, spent a night in beautiful, mystic Sedona and stayed a night with my sister in Phoenix.We ended up seeing more of our own state by ending our trip in Palm Springs, where the only thing we had to do was show up for a massage appointment.We covered a lot of miles, but we broke it up so that it wasn’t boring or monotonous and we talked. A lot. We talked about how different our lives were going to be with me not working anymore and what I hoped to accomplish with my time off.

We relished the sights and sounds of the highway and listened to a couple of books on tape and a ton of Dave Matthews. We played Rumi Cube in dive bars in the middle of the day and simply enjoyed being together.

That trip? It was sort of the calm before the storm and I mean that in the nicest of ways. I loved every minute of it.

A month after we returned home, we found out we were pregnant with Lucas. 🙂

This post is for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop: Prompt 1.) A vacation to remember.

post signature

Never Fade Away

Posted on January 12, 2011 Written by Tonya

I ask you right here please to agree with me that a scar is never ugly. That is what the scar makers want us to think. But you and I, we must make an agreement to defy them. We must see all scars as beauty. Okay? This will be our secret. Because take it from me, a scar does not form on the dying. A scar means, I survived. – Little Bee by Chris Cleave

Everyone loves a good scar story.

We all have at least one.

I have six.

Little reminders that have faded over time of my vanity, immaturity and close calls…

In order in which they were received:

1. Inside left leg – I had a benign tumor removed when I was four years old and had to wear a full leg cast for eight weeks. The scar is roughly six inches long and I have only ever been comfortable with my husband touching it.

2. Left hand – an inch long scar from hitting a mirror in an elevator of our apartment complex upon having an argument with my father. I NEVER thought the mirror would shatter into a million pieces. Nice reminder of my teenage angst, huh? The really sad part is I don’t even remember what the fight was about.

3. Right leg, just below my knee – a mess of a scar that thankfully only shows up when I tan from a motorbike accident that I was in on my birthday in 1985 with my dear friend Sophie. I was the passenger and alcohol was involved.

4. Center of my forehead – a quarter inch horizontal scar from a pea-sized calcium deposit I had removed.

5. Right heel – a three incher from a “pump bump” (heel spur) I had removed in college. What woman doesn’t want to wear heels from time to time?

6. Right breast – a half inch long reminder that a lump I found could have been a lot worse.

I have other scars too, the ones that were self inflicted; ear ring holes (at one point I had four, now only two remain) and three very meaningful tattoos that I don’t regret getting even for one second.

And then there are the scars you can’t see, the ones on my heart made by the losses in my life. The ones full of memories and love and that will never fade away.

This post is for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop: Prompt 1.) Scarred.

post signature

Where Are You From?

Posted on December 6, 2010 Written by Tonya

“Where are you from?”

It’s such an ordinary question.

It’s right up there with, “what do you do?”.

All my life, however, my answer has been rather complicated.

As a response, “I was born in Texas, but grew up overseas” is rarely satisfactory. I think it’s the word: overseas. It sounds so exotic.

And it is.

Sort of.

The inquirer, if they want to know more, usually follows up with,”military brat?”

“No.”

“Peace Corps?”

“No, my parents worked in American-International schools and I lived all over.”

This reply is typically faced with one of two reactions:

1) A simple “oh”, due to lack of time and/or interest.

2) “Oh, where?”

Usually it’s 2) and then I list all the places I’ve lived; Karachi, Pakistan, Banjul, The Gambia in West Africa and Maracaibo, Venezuela.

It’s an impressive list, if I do say so myself. What’s even more impressive is that my parents continued to live and work aboard for another 18 years in four other countries (Somalia, Mozambique, Myanmar and Tunisia) after I returned to the states to attend college.

The 11 years (ages 7 – 17) I spent as an expat had its ups and downs, but for the most part was exciting, educational and a lot of fun. And I knew no different.

Every place I lived was coastal, so I grew to love the water. English was predominately spoken and my friends were mostly European, many of which I am still close with. I was exposed to more people, food, culture, customs, political beliefs and poverty than many of my American counterparts ever would be. I have had six passports, still have the travel bug and enjoy exploring outside the U.S. at least once a year. Luckily, I married someone with that same need and together, we want to show Lucas as many places around the globe as we can.

I feel so blessed to have had the opportunity to experience so much world travel and at such a young age, but there really is no place like the good ole US of A.

post signature

These Are My Confessions…

Posted on November 11, 2010 Written by Tonya

Here goes nothing… a list of all (some) of my weird, embarrassing, illegal and shameful activities. I am sure there are more where these came from, but let’s just start here.

Please don’t judge.

I steal magazines from my doctor’s office.
I let the gas in my car get dangerously low before I fuel up. We’re talking single digits.
I have had the same three Netflix movies for four months. What a waste of $68!
I color my hair and only wash it every three days.
I screen my phone calls.
I make our bed within minutes of getting up in the morning.
I miss working.
I want to rip a person’s arm off if they take food from my plate.
I listen to audio books when I walk.
I cheat at Scrabble, but rarely win.
I let Lucas watch too much TV.
I watch too much TV.
I record Oprah every day and I’ll cry when this season is over.
I have never read one single Harry Potter book, nor have I seen any of the movies.
I don’t like to eat leftovers.
I think there should be a ban on onions. I love the way they taste, but can’t stand the way they make my house smell.
I can’t get one hand wet without getting the other one wet too.
I can rarely listen to a song without singing along.
I can’t stand people that can’t show up on time.
I stole some erasers and gum from a convenience store when I was in the fifth grade and gold charms with my BFF Sophie when we were in junior high.
I use subtitles when I watch movies at home.
I drive over the speed limit and have been know to tail gate.
I’d rather send an e-mail than pick up the phone.
I once “borrowed” a scarf from a friend that I never returned.
I don’t like fish.
I still have thank you cards to send for gifts we received when Lucas was born.
I recently bought a Justin Beiber song on iTunes, of course, if you got your hands on my iPod, you’d think I was schizophrenic.
I floss my teeth (when I floss) before I brush them.

So, there you have it. Well, some of it. What dirty little secrets are your hiding?

This post is forMama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop– Prompt #2: What are your confessions? (inspired by Usher)

post signature

I Don’t Do Math

Posted on July 29, 2010 Written by Tonya

I know it embarrasses my husband when I pull out my tip calculator, but I suck at math!

In high school I excelled in English, history, art, music, PE and foreign language classes, but I was terrible at math and science.

In all honesty, if it weren’t for the homework and all the extra credit problems and reports I completed, I don’t think I would have even earned a diploma. I am not proud of this, I am just stating facts. I am proud to be very right brained.

Sitting in my seventh grade Algebra class, I would get dizzy staring at all the numbers on the chalkboard and when it came to formulas and word problems… forget it!

Tutors didn’t help. The summer courses I took didn’t help and neither did the knock down drag out fights I would have with my parents. They couldn’t understand why I was getting A’s and B’s in the courses I actually enjoyed and practically failing the ones I didn’t. It seemed pretty logical to me, but they were educators and thought my grades should be more “consistent”. I consistently argued that I’d never need math in my life.

By the time I got to college, I took the minimum required math courses that I needed in order to graduate and that was that. I’m ashamed to admit that I didn’t go for a marketing degree because I couldn’t handle all the math prerequisites and instead opted for a Bachelor of Arts in communications with an emphasis in public relations. I can still put together a marketing budget and successfully stick to it.

I like to think that I have a logical mind that is very black and white because I appreciate that in mathematics, there can only be one solution to a problem. I mean 2 + 2 can’t equal 5, right? But numbers have always boggled my mind. I just don’t have a head for them and I never have. I know just enough to get by and for everything else, there’s a calculator.

I understand the value of math and why it is important to learn basic formulas, fractions and percentages, but I’m already starting to worry about helping Lucas with his math homework. Beyond middle school, we are definitely going to have problems (no pun intended). Thank goodness his dad is a very proud left brainer and will assist in this arena.

Numbers or not, the best is yet to be.

My Buried Life

Posted on July 8, 2010 Written by Tonya

Write it down. Written goals have a way of transforming wishes into wants; can’ts into cans; dreams into plans; and plans into reality. Don’t just think it – ink it! – Author Unknown

Several months ago, I posted The Buried Life about a great show on MTV and promised that I would follow it up with my own Buried Life/Bucket List. Thanks to Mama Kat for making it a prompt this week, here it is:

1. Meet Dave Matthews (and just so there is no confusion… I’m talking about THE Dave Matthews from the Dave Matthews Band).
2. Read all of the books on my Goodreads list – as of today there are 536 titles.
3. Build my family tree and learn everything I can about where I come from.
4. Walk my sister down the aisle at her wedding.
5. Make the turkey with all the trimmings for Thanksgiving.
6. Spend a week or longer in Paris… again.
7. Go camping and sleep under the stars.
8. Be in the audience at the Oprah Winfrey show.
9. Learn how to drive a stick shift car.
10. Live to see A grandchild.
11. Take Lucas (and any subsequent children) on a safari in Africa.
12. Visit Tokyo, Japan.
13. Learn to ski.
14. Fly in a blimp.
15. Visit Martha’s Vineyard.
16. Learn how to French braid my own hair.
17. Travel First Class anywhere.
18. Ride a segway.
19. Go blond, if even for just one night.
20. Learn how to tie a tie.
21. Bowl a perfect round…strikes every single frame.
22. Have a photo that I have taken hung in a gallery and perhaps even sold!
23. Walk across the Golden Gate Bridge.
24. Take Lucas (and any subsequent children) to see the Pyramids
25. Sing a solo in front of an audience.
26. Ride the roller coaster at the top of the Stratosphere Hotel in Las Vegas.
27. Visit Cabo San Lucas…again.
28. Bungee jump.
29. Write a heartfelt letter to everyone I love telling them why they are so special to me.
30. Find my husband the PERFECT gift and since he is SO difficult to shop for, this could possibly take the rest of my life.
40. Go vegetarian for 30 days.
41. Give up my phone, computer and TV for a week (yeah, right!)
42. Visit all 50 states (so far, I’ve been to 28).
43. Learn how to apply eye make-up.
44. Get published.
45. Save someone’s life.
46. Attend the Olympic games
47. Sit court side during a Lakers playoff game.
48. Attend a Super Bowl game.
49. Run a marathon.
50. Learn more about wine.
51. Own a family dog.
52. Own a trampoline!
53. Watch a film in French without the subtitles.
54. Watch a film in Spanish without subtitles.
56. Knit something.
57. Run for office, even if it’s just the PTA.
58. Take a cruise.
59. Take a cooking class.
60. Have a re-commitment ceremony with husband.
61. Sell or donate all of my music CDs…. it’s time!
62. Plant something and watch it grow.
63. Establish a family game night.
64. Establish a family mission statement.
65. Call Dr. Laura.
66. Reach at least 100 followers on Letters For Lucas. I’m only 36 away. 🙂
67. Introduce Lucas to my ex-husband and meet his child(ren) too.
68. Milk a cow.
69. Paint a picture and hang it in my living room.
70. Break or set a world record.
71. Find my best friend from 2nd grade on Facebook.
72. Take a helicopter ride over the Grand Canyon.
73. Be a game show contestant…preferably Jeopardy.
74. Walk across the Great Wall of China.
75. Ride a motorcycle.
76. Participate in a community play or music group.
77. Throw a huge party for all of my friends.
78. See an active volcano.
79. Throw a surprise party for someone.
80. Appear on the cover of a magazine.
81. Help others achieve their buried lists a la the show.
82. Spend the night at the zoo.
83. Successfully assemble a piece of furniture.
84. Learn to surf.
85. Fix my front tooth; I chipped it in the 4th grade and want to have it re-bonded.
86. Organize all my photographs.
87. Put together our wedding album
88. Celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary.
89. Have one wall in my house painted bright red.
90. Own a navy blue car.
91. Sell my parents house in Arizona.
92. Have my picture taken in a field of sunflowers.
93. Learn to make the perfect margarita.
94. Drive on the Autobahn
95. See a show on Broadway.
96. Take my 21 year old son out for a beer
97. Rent a convertible for a weekend and drive the entire length of the Pacific Coast Highway.
98. Breathe deeply all the days of my life and know that that’s everything is going to be okay.
99. Thank my lucky stars everyday at how blessed I am.
100. Have a healthy second and possibly third pregnancy.

What do you want to do before you die? For clarity and focus, I highly suggest you think about it, make a list and refer to it often.

The best is yet to be.

I wrote this post for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop – Prompt #5: Write a list of 100 things you want to do before you turn 100. Otherwise known as a “bucket list”.

My ipod Has Schizophrenia

Posted on October 14, 2009 Written by Tonya

I believe that everything is better with music and I love all different types; from bubble gum pop and jazz to Jay-Z and Radiohead (okay, Radiohead is one of your dad’s favorite bands, not mine, but I do have a two of their songs on my iPod).

Music is an incredibly powerful thing; it has the ability to uplift and motivate like nothing else. Just the right tune can put a smile on my face, a spring in my step, a wish in my heart or tear in my eye. It can make a long boring car ride more bearable and household chores dare I say, more fun to power through. It gives me that little extra something to go another few minutes on the treadmill.

I play music for you everyday. I have 15 days or 5316 songs on my iPod, so there is A LOT to choose from. My Essential playlist (otherwise known as the playlist of music I would have to have were I ever to find myself stranded on a deserted island and could only take one playlist), which you have probably listened to the most, includes 100 of my all time favorite songs. It is as eclectic as the rest of my music library. The first 10 songs are:

1. Ghost In You – The Psychedelic Furs
2. Rump Shaker – Wreckx-N-Effect
3. Melissa – The Allman Brothers Band
4. Anna Begins – Counting Crows
5. Love – Matt White
6. Peek-A-Boo – Sioxsie and the Banshees
7. Theme from “A Summer Place” – The Lettermen
8. Hallelujah – k.d. lang
9. Pig – Dave Matthews Band
10. Crazy – Patsy Cline

Each song is gorgeous, haunting and fun in their own special way. I think you can figure out which is which. 🙂

Music to me is like the sense of smell for others. It helps trigger a memory and hearing a certain song can bring me right back to that moment in time. For example, “Drive” by The Cars was my first slow dance, “Fade Into You” by Mazzy Star was the song playing on the radio when I got into my first(!) car accident, “Just Like Heaven” by The Cure will always remind me of dancing the night away in Newport Beach with my college roommate and our boyfriends, “You are the Sunshine of My Life” by Stevie Wonder is the song my sister sang at my wedding and “Addicted to Love” by Robert Palmer will always make me think of my dad. Actually, a lot of songs remind me of my dad, but that one in particular. He couldn’t get enough of the video featuring the scantily clad long legged chicks.

I am not a very good dancer, but I can carry a tune and you sure seem to like it when I start to move and groove and belt out with the chorus. I hope I am instilling in you an appreciation for music, if not a move or two you may bust out later in life.

The best is yet to be.

Pure Bliss

Related Posts:

Long Live The 80’s!

Related Posts:

Hopes, Dreams & Wishes – Redux

Related Posts:

The Calm Before The Storm

Related Posts:

Never Fade Away

Related Posts:

Where Are You From?

Related Posts:

I Don’t Do Math

Related Posts:

Related Posts:

Related Posts:

Related Posts:

Related Posts:

Related Posts:

Related Posts:

Related Posts:

Related Posts:

Related Posts:

Related Posts:

What I Write About