Letters For Lucas

Wonders, Mishaps, Blunders and Joy.. commentary on my life as a mom in the form of letters to my son

20 Questions – Part 3

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Lucas is the greatest big brother a girl could ask for, he’s smart, curious and is completely obsessed with Super Heroes, Lego and Star Wars at the moment and just started playing soccer.

He’s also cheeky, stubborn, a master negotiator, especially when it comes to screen time, and I often wonder if his ears are full of wax. He’s all boy and he’s owned my heart since the moment I found out I was pregnant with him.

I first asked Lucas these questions when he was 2 1/2 and planned to do it every year, but you know, life got in the way, so the next interview was when he turned 4 and now he’s almost 6! Eek.

I loved recording his responses.

1. What is your favorite color? Red

2. What is your favorite toy? Lego

3. What is your favorite fruit? Pineapple

4. What is your favorite TV show? Star Wars Rebels and The Voice

5. What is your favorite thing to eat for lunch? Pasta – we have recently learned the best way to take warm meals to school!

6. What is your favorite outfit? Swim suit

7. What is your favorite game? Junior Monopoly

8. What is your favorite snack? Cliff Crunch bars – chocolate chip

9. What is your favorite animal? Penguins and cats

10. What is your favorite song? Anything by Taylor Swift and Fireworks by Katy Perry

11. What is your favorite book? 5-Minute Marvel Stories

12. Who is your best friend? Aydin, Brayden, Kingston, Isadora, Katherine and Jackson

13. What is your favorite cereal? Fruit Loops (a weekend only treat)

14. What is your favorite thing to do outside? Play soccer

15. What is your favorite drink? Good 2 Grow V-blend Tropical Fruit Medley

16. What is your favorite holiday? Christmas

17. What do you like to take to bed with you at night? Lovey and mounds of books

18. What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? Donuts!

19. What do you want for dinner on your birthday? Cake – Vanilla with vanilla frosting

20. What do you want to be when you grow up? A national video game player (a guy who knows how to play every video game in the world)

Being Lucas, he had a few questions he wanted to add:

21. What is your favorite movie? Clone Wars

22. What is your favorite subject at school? Science

23. What is your favorite thing to do with Mom? Jump on the trampoline

24. What is your favorite thing to do with Dad? Go on bike rides

25. What is your favorite thing to do with Lola? Jump on the trampoline

I love this exercise and how much Lucas’s tastes have both changed and stayed the same over the years.

Is there anything that you do with your child(ren) each year to show their growth? If so, I’d love to hear about it.

My past two interviews can be found here: 20 Questions (November 2011) and 20 Questions, 22 Months Later – Update (September 2013).

Questionnaire originally found on Pinterest.

20questionswithlucas

Photo by my friend, Tereza Harper – January 20, 2015

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Before Turning Five

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I have been feeling nostalgic, extremely proud, a little sad and slightly offended by the passing of time lately. A week from today my son, my firstborn and the one who made me a mama will be turning five. Five!!

Lucas is an awesome kid with a silly sense of humor and an undying curiosity, two traits I hope he always possesses. He’s also a sweet sensitive little boy and is learning how to be more independent and how to take no for an answer.

My son had a banner year and I couldn’t possibly list all of his accomplishments (yes, this is going to be one of those posts) but I would like to share a few that stand out for me. In no particular order:

As a family we survived a nine month stint in a tiny two bedroom apartment while we searched for a house and while he mirrored my frustration with our living situation, Lucas really made the best of it and out of all of us was the most adaptable. He also served as an active participant in our home search and shared his desire for a backyard and missing his trampoline and a dedicated play area. He was patient and understanding through our moves.

Twice this year Lucas has gone through his toys and allowed us to either set some things aside for his little sister to play with someday or give items to goodwill. This is not an easy feat for children but he did it with ease and graciousness.

I will always remember this as the year Lucas went from being obsessed with Cars to being obsessed with Star Wars. We are currently up to our eyeballs in Jedi, droids and intergalactic battles. Enough said.

In January, Lucas was moved into the upper Pre-K class at his current preschool and in March was accepted into a local prestigious private school where he will begin kindergarten this fall. He was one of only 17 students out of 70 accepted! We are excited about next school year and all the new things Lucas will be exposed to.

One of Lucas and his dad’s favorite things to do together is go skateboarding and over the last year, Lucas has become proficient at it! He practices safety and caution while at the same time pushing himself and being daring in spite of a few skinned knees and elbows. 

Over Memorial Day weekend, we hosted Lucas’s first sleep over and it was fun, but also a tiny glimpse into our future of being cast aside in favor of being with friends.

Just yesterday, Lucas earned a yellow belt in karate, a sport he’s only been participating in since mid-January. He’d been practicing for days, worked with a friend and his sensi to perfect the series of moves and announced on the way to class that he was ready to test. He said advancing to the next level was something that he wanted to do before turning five and he did it!

One of Lucas’s biggest accomplishments this year was becoming a big brother, a role that he seemed born to have. At only four months old, Lola idolizes him and has since the very first moment they met and he is completely enamored by her. Watching their relationship grow and develop and seeing Lucas’s nurturing side has been one of my greatest joys. I knew it would be!

Being a good sibling and working hard towards something he wants were major themes for this year and prompted a lot of discussions about what being a good role model means. I’m happy to be this amazing boy’s mom and he delights and surprises me daily. I can’t wait to see what five has in store for us.

Next up? In his words, “mastering the art of tying my shoes!”.

Lucas, my sweet boy, you have all the time in the world for that. Enjoy your last week of being four. I love you.

lmw

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Obsessions

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Lucas goes through phases when all he wants to talk about are planets or dinosaurs, pirates or sea life, Legos and most recently learning and belting out every last word of the Frozen soundtrack, but every now and then he gets a true obsession for something and it becomes all consuming.

The first and thankfully shortest lived obsession was with Elmo. Now he won’t give Sesame Street the time of day. While there was no annoying red squeaky voiced monster when I was growing up, I loved watching Sesame Street and the Muppets and learned a lot from those shows, but there far too many [better] options nowadays.

Next came his Thomas the Tank Engine & Friends obsession. We have tracks of all shapes and sizes and dozens of trains, we memorized the theme song, spent a Day Out With Thomas and have logged countless hours around the train table.

Still going strong is his passion for Cars and Cars 2. Lucas has at least 100 die cast cars from the movies and has expanded his collection to include Microdrifters, Squinkies and Mighty Beans. He owns half a dozen track sets and loves lining up cars by color, gender, bad guy vs. good guy, first movie vs. second, World Grand Prix racers, Radiator Springs friends, etc., etc. It’s exhausting but a passion that both my husband and I encourage and enthusiastically contribute to.

Lucas’s dad sells cars for a living so I’m sure he’ll always have a love for them too, he even talks about being a race car driver when he grows up (God help me and my poor heart if in fact that happens). One of my favorite things he has ever said is, “I wish Lightening McQueen and Tow Mater were real so they could teach me how to be a race car driver”.

Lucas’s latest obsession is with Angry Birds and more specifically, Star Wars Angry Birds. This started with the original app/game, which I still refuse to play or download on my phone but his dad has. It soon became a favorite and then graduated to more apps/games, books, light sabers, stuffed animals, underwear, Telepods, dishes, Angry Bird GO! carts, Star Wars Angry Birds Jenga game sets and to date as a family, we have watched four of the six Star Wars movies [SIDE NOTE: can you believe the first Star Wars movie came out in 1977??] and are constantly being quizzed about all the characters, their strengths and weaknesses, weapons of choice, home planets, alliances, etc. We don’t leave the house without his Star Wars Angry Birds Character Encyclopedia.

Recently Lucas lost one of his tiny Telepods (C3P-YOLK) in the car and days after Todd tore the thing apart trying to find it, it rolled out from underneath the passenger seat. Look how happy he was to be reunited. Notice the shirt.

IMG_8639This current passion is cute, but exhausting. I suppose real strategy and vivid imagination are being used to play these games and act out different scenarios, so he’s benefiting in that way and I’m quite sure another obsession is waiting lurking just around the corner…

What is your child’s current obsession?

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A Week Of Milestones

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Hello friends, it has been a while. Almost an entire month in fact and in that time, we moved, decorated for Christmas, surpassed the critical 32 week point of my pregnancy (!) and were without Internet access for almost three weeks. It has been busy and we are anything but settled into our new home, but have already had guests, are hosting family and friends for Christmas and are enjoying making our house a home.

I’m currently sitting at the island in my beautiful new kitchen listening to holiday music, avoiding my very lengthy To Do list and thinking back on a week of some pretty big milestones for Lucas: 

Milestone #1 For the first time EVER, Lucas ate what we ate for dinner!

Before becoming a parent I always said I would never be a short order cook, serving up a separate meal for my child, but having such a picky eater that was not the case in the least bit and until last Tuesday, that’s just what we did.

Tuesday he enjoyed pesto pasta with chicken and broccoli.

This is huge!

No separate meal.

I know it won’t happen every night, but we are headed in the right (and way more convenient) direction.

Milestone #2 While out to dinner on Saturday evening, Lucas asked to use the men’s restroom (gulp), which led to me sending this tweet while I waited (and worries):

Screen Shot 2013-12-16 at 9.24.22 AM

I don’t know what the appropriate age is to let your son use the restroom by himself, but I know that I won’t be doing it again unless it is a another single stall situation.

Milestone #3 There are very few things in my life that I have had to have. These shoes purchased long before Lucas was even born were one of those things.

I completely fell in love with this New Balance sneaker, size 12(!) decked out with Oscar the Grouch, complete with several pesky flies. On the bottom of the sole, it says: “Have a yucky day!”. Having grown up watching Sesame Street, I just had to get them! 

We bought them while in Old Town Pasadena in the Spring of 2009 and never thought our little boy would ever be able to wear them.

download-1

At 4 1/2 years old, Lucas’s tiny feet grew and grew are finally big enough to wear them!

Be still my heart, my little boy is no longer so little.

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When You See A Parent Cry

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Getting in and out of the car is an ordeal for me. I always have so much to carry; shoes and socks, sweatshirts, a lone water bottle, a snack wrapper, library books, school papers, my over-sized, over-stuffed way too heavy purse, my keys dangle from one finger, a bag of groceries is cutting off circulation at my elbow, a lunch box, dry cleaning, etc., etc.

Living on the third floor of an apartment building without an elevator and being almost 27 weeks pregnant, I tend to load up in order to eliminate the number of trips I make up and down. Once I’m home, all I want to do is relax.

This afternoon was no different, my arms, shoulders and hands were full, but Lucas insisted on my carrying his Cars case as well. It’s far too heavy for him and I prefer he is hands free climbing the steps. But, what’s one more thing for me to lug I thought. Only as I went to grab for it, the handle popped off and I banged my shin into the car.

Hard.

I tried to hold back my tears, but they came anyway. Seconds after it happened, my leg was already throbbing and turning black-and-blue.

Through tears of anger and pain I said that Daddy would get the case when he got home and shuffled Lucas and my loaded up self towards the stairs. I was wearing sunglasses so I didn’t think Lucas could see my crying eyes but after he asked quietly if I was alright, he said, “Mommy, I’ve only ever seen you cry one other time”.

I remembered the first time clearly. We were laying in bed together and he had asked if he could watch one of his shows and when I said no, he told me he hated me. It stung as if he had slapped me across the face. The tears were heartfelt and I asked him never to say that to me again and explained that he could be mad at me all he wanted, but I didn’t want to hear that again.

That episode clearly made a huge impact on him and scared him.

Crying is part of being human and having emotions that evoke reactions such as crying is completely normal. I believe children should never be afraid to express their emotions, whatever they may be.

I can recall witnessing my mother cry many times, typically when saying goodbye to me for a long stint or over a grossly overacted scene in a sappy movie. I’m the same way so I was surprised when Lucas claimed to have only seen me do it one other time. When going through fertility treatments, I cried often, but most definitely hid those tears from him because I didn’t have the words to explain why I was I was so sad. Thinking back, I should have said just that, “I’m sad”.

Never once did I see my father tear up. I suppose because men are suppose to be tough and brave and manly men. The truth is, it doesn’t make a person less of a man (or women) to cry.

What do you think, should parents let their children see them cry? Has your child ever seen you or your partner cry? Have you ever seen one of your parents cry?

By the way, my shin is fine. 

cry

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20 Questions, 22 Months Later – Update

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I seemed to have forgotten/put off/overlooked a follow up questionnaire to my 20 Questions post from November 2011, which I had wanted to do every year, so here it is, Lucas at 4 years, 3 months.

See if you notice a theme… 

1. What is your favorite color? Red

2. What is your favorite toy? Cars movie cars and Planes

3. What is your favorite fruit? Grapes

4. What is your favorite TV show? Paw Patrol

5. What is your favorite thing to eat for lunch? PB&J

6. What is your favorite outfit? My red Cars movie shirt, light brown shorts and red rubbers

7. What is your favorite game? Sorry!

8. What is your favorite snack? Cereal bars

9. What is your favorite animal? Zebras

10. What is your favorite song? 22 by Taylor Swift

11. What is your favorite book? Once Upon A Time…The End

12. Who is your best friend? Wyatt, Jackson, Mommy and Daddy

13. What is your favorite cereal? Fruit Loops

14. What is your favorite thing to do outside? Scooter, skateboard and play soccer

15. What is your favorite drink? Chocolate milk

16. What is your favorite holiday? Christmas

17. What do you like to take to bed with you at night? Lovey

18. What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? Cereal

19. What do you want for dinner on your birthday? Breakfast

20. What do you want to be when you grow up? A race car driver

While I’m not thrilled by my decreasing best friend ranking, I loved this exercise and how much Lucas’ tastes have both changed and stayed the same.

Questionnaire originally found on Pinterest.

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Relishing Quiet

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Admittedly, I was not prepared for a lot of things when it came to becoming a mother, but the insane amount of noise has got to be the most frustrating.

I did not know that from sun up to sun down chitter chatter, mumbo jumbo and other strange and peculiar sounds would come flooding out of my son.

Lucas recounts his day, acts outs books we read and shows he watches, relives events that took place the previous week and asks a million questions in between. 

Oh my God, the questions… they make my head spin as I carefully do my best to answer each one.

What are you doing?

Why are you doing that?

Where did that come from?

Where are we going?

Why are we going this way?

Who will be there?

Do they have cars?

Can I get a car?

What about a train?

Most of the time it is music to my ears. I love being able to carry on a complete conversation with Lucas and hearing him talk to himself and sing is delightful, but sometimes I feel like my head might explode from the incessantness. He never shuts up. His mind is curious and he has a lot to say.

Sometimes I need a moment of silence.

A moment to catch my breath and hear myself think.

A moment longer than a stolen bathroom break will allow, especially since my little boy is typically accompanying me in there as well.

Can I flush the toilet when you’re done?

Can I see?

Can I close the lid?

Why are you washing your hands?

I need to wash my hands too.

Mmm, that soap smells good.

I need to take a bath tonight.

After Lucas finally goes to bed each night, I feel guilty for being so silent around my husband, but I am relishing quiet as much as I know he is.

How do you cope with the noise maker(s) in your life?

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Be Enough Me

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I worry that I’m not the calmest mom, 

the silliest mom,

the prettiest mom,

the fittest mom,

the craftiest mom,

the strongest mom,

the coolest mom,

the smartest mom,

the tidiest mom,

the handiest mom,

or the wealthiest mom.

I know I’m not the most creative, understanding, organized, thoughtful or patient mom.

I’m not very well versed in constellations or dinosaurs. I honestly don’t know why the sky is blue. I don’t cook. I can’t dance. My funny voices sound ridiculous. I forget the words songs once I start singing them and I’m not a very good driver.

I have a terrible weakness for Chai tea lattes, fresh flowers and People magazine and I can not draw a very good train to save my life.

I can read the hell out of any book you bring me as long as you sit in my lap while I read it and I know exactly how to make you smile and no one will ever love you as much as I do, my sweet boy.

This week, I’m linking up to Just. Be. Enough’s Be Enough Me link-up.

Write, post, link-up, share your story and your voice.
Be part of carrying the weight of confidence and share our mission
to empower, inspire, and remind women, parents and children
that the time has come to celebrate ourselves!

Next week’s prompt: What is one image or symbol that
reminds you that are you enough?

(Remember you can also write on a topic of your choice.)

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20 Questions

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After seeing this questionnaire on Pinterest (where else?) and pinning it at least twice that I’m aware of, I decided to ask Lucas these 20 questions today, on his 29th month and I’ll repeat this exercise a year from now. 

1. What is your favorite color? Yellow and green

2. What is your favorite toy? Lightening McQueen

3. What is your favorite fruit? Apple

4. What is your favorite TV show? Little Einsteins

5. What is your favorite thing to eat for lunch? Mac ‘n’ cheese

6. What is your favorite outfit? A shirt

7. What is your favorite game? Car movie show game (an iPhone app)

8. What is your favorite snack? Fruit chews

9. What is your favorite animal? Zebras

10. What is your favorite song? Hakuna Matata

11. What is your favorite book? Where the Wild Things Are

12. Who is your best friend? Mommy

13. What is your favorite cereal? The crunchy one

14. What is your favorite thing to do outside? Kick the ball and chase

15. What is your favorite drink? Apple juice

16. What is your favorite holiday? Christmas tree time

17. What do you like to take to bed with you at night? My cars and lovey

18. What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? Apple, cheese and toast (with peanut butter)

19. What do you want for dinner on your birthday? Cake

20. What do you want to be when you grow up? A shark

Photo courteous of Pinterest, click image for source.

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Dressed For Success

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I have been told that I dress you in too much blue and too many stripes. I may be guilty of that, but I also love to put you in orange, green, red, jungle animals (especially monkeys!), spaceships, robots, cars, planes, trains, dinosaurs and monsters too.

As I’ve perused the baby departments at numerous stores, I have come to the conclusion that I like clothes made for boys better than I like clothes made for girls. It’s not that I don’t like frilly dresses and ruffles, it’s just that I prefer the bright primary colors that are more common in clothes marketed for infant and toddler boys and the themes used in both boy’s and gender neutral clothing.

The themes in baby boys clothing celebrate predominantly male (and mostly working class) occupations such as firemen, construction workers, mechanics, pilots, and soldiers. Activity themes seem to be popular as well; involving clothes the promote going on safari, hunting, fishing, eating and playing sports.

Even as infants, we start to socialize baby boys into occupations. You rarely find occupation themed clothes for girls. Little girls clothes have flowers, frills, and occasionally animals (i.e. butterflies, dragonflies and lady bugs), but they don’t have occupational themes. They also rarely have activity themes outside of shopping or cheer leading. In fact, to me the worst subset of little girls clothes are those that say “princess” or “diva”. Diva is often used in a derisive way to indicate that the girl is overly demanding, and unlike the fireman or construction worker a princess doesn’t earn her title – she’s born with it or marries into it. Princess themed clothes also seem to play up baby girls looks – looking like a princess means looking pretty. I’ve seen a few shirts that have messages about boys being handsome or cute, and then there’s the ever witty (dreadful) sayings: “Chick Magnet”, “I drink until I pass out” or “That’s how I roll”, but those are much less common in the boys department.

I believe that one of the reasons that baby clothes are so strongly gendered is that babies themselves are often androgynous. If you put them only in a diaper, it’s often hard to tell what sex the baby is, but that androgyny doesn’t fit well into our gender polarized society, so this is where the clothes come in. Those clothes have underlying and blatant messages. Baby boy clothes say: be active, be bold, enjoy the outdoors, and get a respectable paying job. It doesn’t seem that baby girls clothing have the same messages.

Today’s parents have a seemingly infinite choice of where to buy baby clothes and also the particular style they want, as long as you can find something that fits….the sizing of children’s clothes is still a mystery to me, but that’s the topic for an other post.

The best is yet to be.

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