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Reflections On 39 Years

Posted on June 26, 2011 Written by Tonya

It’s my birthday and in my 39 short years on this planet, I have…

1. moved 27 times.
2. owned five cars.
3. ran a 1/2 marathon.
4. sky dived in Tucson, Arizona and scuba dived in Port Elizabeth, South Africa.
5. learned that money can’t buy happiness, but it can make things a little easier.
6. graduated from college.
7. been fired from, laid off and quit three different jobs.
8. learned that everything in moderation is the best way to live.
9. been a bridesmaid four times and a bride twice.
10. attended approximately 39 concerts (15 of which were Dave Matthews shows).
11. learned that change is unavoidable.
12. been on a road trip (15+ hours round trip) by myself.
13. broken my collar bone.
14. been in five car accidents (three of which were my fault).
15. gotten three tattoos (and want at least one more).
16. walked 180 miles in three 3-Day Walks for breast cancer research.
17. thrown a surprise party.
18. climbed the pyramids, hiked into the Grand Canyon, kissed at the top of the Eiffel Tower and walked across the Golden Gate Bridge.
19. realized that family, no matter how often you see one another is important.
20. learned that you can get grey hair and acne at the same time. Unfair and annoying, but true.
21. won a sewing contest in the third grade, the leading role in a school play when I was a Senior in high school, a customer service award once I started working and two giveaways from blogs I read.
22. never had to be bailed out of jail.
23. learned that home is where the heart is.
24. swam with dolphins in Mexico and zip-lined in Costa Rica.
25. been the first one to apologize and the first one to walk away.
26. learned that music really can save your mortal soul.
27. discovered that asking for help is not a weakness, but a strength.
28. called 911 twice (not for Lucas, thank goodness!)
29. collected more books than I’ll ever be able to read.
30. watched every single episode of Sex & the City, Alias and Grey’s Anatomy.
31. attended the Grammy’s and Emmy’s.
32. learned that a vast majority of people can be worn over with a smile and a little kindness.
33. been blessed with the best friends a girl could ask for.
34. only wanted the very best for my sister, Leah.
35. never missed my parents more than I do today, except maybe tomorrow.
36. had more perfect moments than one person should be allowed.
37. made a baby with a man I admire, love and respect.
38. never tired of hearing “Mommy”.
39. a lot more living to do and tons more to learn.

Here’s looking forward to the next 39 years!
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I Am A Real Housewife Of Orange County

Posted on May 4, 2011 Written by Tonya

I live in Orange County so I come in contact with the type of women on the television show, The Real Housewives of Orange County on almost a daily basis. It’s usually when they are perched behind the wheel of their fresh off the assembly line Mercedes Benz.

These women are wealthy beyond belief, flashy, live in excess, completely phony, constantly in search of companionship and are terrible drivers!,span>

10 reasons why I could not be a real housewife from any county:

1. I don’t believe in plastic surgery. I’ve earned the wrinkles around my eyes, thankyouverymuch. Oh, and while we’re on the subject of plastic surgery, they’re real and they’re spectacular.

2. I can’t walk in stilettos to save my life. If I could, they’d probably lead me to a horrific death down a flight of stairs.

3. I don’t know any rock stars or pro baseball players, nor do I particularly care to. Okay, well, maybe I’d like to meet Dave Matthews …swoon…

4. I’m not a fake blond with god-awful roots. With all that money, you’d think they’d be able to keep those covered up.

5. I don’t have a designer handbag for every day of the week.

6. I truly enjoy shopping at Target.

7. I fly coach and usually accompanied by a toddler on my lap. Good times.

8. My SVU is really a glorified car. And it’s a hybrid because I care about the environment not just because it’s trendy.

9. I have a farmer’s tan instead of a golden brown hue evenly covering my entire body.

10. I don’t decorate my child. Lucas has never had hair products in his hair nor does he wear designer clothes. My husband would shoot me first!

Come to think of it, these are probably all the reasons why I’ll never be friends with Gwyneth Paltrow either. At least I’m not not the only one!

Sigh.

I live in Orange County and I’m a housewife, so I hues that makes me a *real* housewife of Orange County. BUT, I’m the flip flop and yoga pants wearing, rolling around in the park with my son, play date scheduling, three days of unwashed hair-type instead of the television variety.

This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop, Prompt 5.) 10 reasons why you could not be a real housewife from any county.

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In These Small Moments

Posted on April 17, 2011 Written by Tonya

I love Nichole.

We have bonded over many things, most notably our mutual adoration for Dave Matthews. **swoon**

I love Nichole’s blog, In These Small Moments. Her writing is strong, effortless and breathtaking. I can’t wait to meet the woman behind these beautiful words at BlogHer in August.

I look forward to Nichole’s Small Moments Mondays feature each week and I’m honored that this week, she is featuring me!

Please stop by and say hello as I share a very big small moment in my life: the moment we found out we were pregnant with our son, Lucas.
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Pure Bliss

Posted on March 9, 2011 Written by Tonya

I’m coming waltzing back and moving into your head – Dave Matthews

I have almost 6500 songs on my iPod. That’s 17 days of music!

For as long as I can remember I have sang along to the radio and when I was a little girl, into my brush handle in front of the mirror in my bedroom.

In elementary and high school I participated in choir.

I’ve always had the largest music collection of all my friends and I still own vinyl and cassette tapes.

I love music and have a very eclectic taste. I’ll listen to just about anything.

Music has always been a very big part of my life and the soundtrack of so many of my memories.

I have feel good songs to help lift me up when I’m feeling down:

Dirt Off Your Shoulder by Jay-Z

She Moves In Her Own Way by The Kooks

I have melancholy songs to make me sad when I need a good cry:

Pictures Of You by The Cure

You Will Make It by Jem

Fallen by Sarah McLachlan

I have songs to pump me up when I need a little extra burst of energy at the gym:

Rump Shaker by Wreckx-N-Effect

Starry Eyed Surprise – Paul Oakenfeld

I created a special play list called Wine & Conversation that we typically play when entertaining. It is comprised of tunes by artists such as: Harry Connick, Jr., Patsy Cline, Ella Fitzgerald, Bob Marley, Blue October, Sade, Feist and Jason Mraz and it helps me relax, unwind and always puts an easy smile upon my face.

I have songs that remind me of important events in my life:

Fade Into You by Mazzy Starr was playing when I got into my first car accident.

Drive by The Cars was playing the first time I slow danced with a boy.

Unforgettable by Natalie Cole was the song my father and I danced to at my wedding.

I have songs that remind me of important people in my life:

Just Like Heaven by The Cure takes me back to my college days and dancing with my roommate, Erin at frat parties and then a little later in life when we became struggling to make ends meet career women.

The moment I hear Melt With You by Modern English I instantly think of my best friend, Colleen and how much she loves this song. I swear she pees a little every time she hears it, it makes her that happy.

My father loved Everybody Wants To Rule The World by Tears For Fears and now I do too. I can always picture him swaying his hips and closing his eyes as he tried to sing along.

To pick just ONE song with significance would be down right impossible, however, there is just one song that I have played more than any other, one song’s lyrics that I carry around with me in my wallet because along with the music, this song to me is pure bliss.

Almost seven minutes long, the music starts off slow, speeds up, then slows again and doesn’t let go of me until the very last note. Acoustic guitar, bass, sax, violin, trumpet and drums all working together in perfect harmony.

The accompanying voice is powerful, sexy and strong and the lyrics, bittersweet.

Experiencing this song live is one of the most magical events of my life and I have been fortunate to witness it several times.

The song I’m referring to is #41 by the Dave Matthews Band.

This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop Prompt 5) A song with significance.

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The Calm Before The Storm

Posted on February 16, 2011 Written by Tonya

Two weeks after my parents died in October 2007, after the dust had settled bit, the shock wore off some and the memorial service had been held, I returned to my job as a marketing manager for a trade publication.

It was what I had to do.

I needed to escape the sadness of my family, my home and the pressure of handling my parents estate. I wanted to use my brain on something I knew I was good at and be somewhere where I didn’t have to think about death or deal with my grief. I thought that getting back to my “regular” routine would help.

I was on auto pilot.

Almost a year later, in August 2008, I decided I needed to step away from my job and decompress from the roller coaster ride of emotions and tasks that I had at hand and just be with myself and my thoughts.

There was still a lot of work to be done; an estate to close and several trips to the house my sister I had inherited in Arizona. I also wanted to reconnect with family and start thinking about starting one of my own.

My husband, Todd was very supportive of my decision but I remember the day I gave my one month notice he said, your last day there, is going to be your last day there and the very next day, we are going to go on a trip. He was planning to take a week off work so we could do this, so we began plotting our adventure.

We could go anywhere!

We have both been all over the world… Europe, Africa, Asia. But this time, we decided to stay closer to home and planned a very different type of trip for us, a vacation that ended up being one of the best ones we have ever had together.

It was a road trip comprised of 1200 miles and three states.

We woke up when we woke up and got on the road that Saturday morning and drove; we had hotel reservations, but no agenda, no time line, just a navigation system.

First, we went to Las Vegas, the perfect place to get away from it all, let our hair down and have fun. We stayed at the beautiful Palazzo hotel, sipped cocktails as we lounged by the magnificent pool, saw LOVE, the Cirque du Soleil show and had a great time gambling, eating and drinking too much.Next, we headed to the Grand Canyon, a place even with all of my ties to Arizona, neither of us had ever seen before. It’s breathtaking and should be on everyone’s “Bucket List”.

We saw the Hoover Dam, ate at fun, eclectic diners along the route, visited the boarding school where I graduated from high school, on a whim, spent a night in beautiful, mystic Sedona and stayed a night with my sister in Phoenix.We ended up seeing more of our own state by ending our trip in Palm Springs, where the only thing we had to do was show up for a massage appointment.We covered a lot of miles, but we broke it up so that it wasn’t boring or monotonous and we talked. A lot. We talked about how different our lives were going to be with me not working anymore and what I hoped to accomplish with my time off.

We relished the sights and sounds of the highway and listened to a couple of books on tape and a ton of Dave Matthews. We played Rumi Cube in dive bars in the middle of the day and simply enjoyed being together.

That trip? It was sort of the calm before the storm and I mean that in the nicest of ways. I loved every minute of it.

A month after we returned home, we found out we were pregnant with Lucas. 🙂

This post is for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop: Prompt 1.) A vacation to remember.

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A New Year

Posted on January 2, 2011 Written by Tonya

2010 was a year of highs and lows for our household. Luckily the highs outweighed the lows and in many cases I shared them on Letters For Lucas

Here are (just) the highlights:

January – Leah moved to Los Angeles.

March – I got my third tattoo.

April/May – We took a very memorable trip to Australia and New Caledonia, where I got to see my dearest and oldest friend, Sophie again after 10 long years.

May – A fun girl’s weekend to San Luis Obispo.

June – Lucas turns 1 year old.

August – Lady Gaga in concert with Leah.

August – A very intimate backyard BBQ featuring my all time favorite singer, Dave Matthews.

August – Letters For Lucas turned one.

September – Todd started his new business, European Classic Cars on PCH.

September – I gave Seattle another shot, fell in love and got to see my friend Siobhain again after 25 years.

October – I participated in my third Susan G. Komen 3-Day Walk, second with my sister and I got to cross ‘walk over the Golden Gate Bridge’ off my Bucket List.

December – We moved to Orange County.

December – Leah and I took Lucas to Disneyland for his visit time.

Looking forward to 2011, but not a big proponent of New Year’s Resolutions per se, my goals tend to be very similar from year to year:

Exercise more
Read more
Cook more
Be present no matter what I’m doing or who I’m with. Be in the moment.

And this year, I am on a mission to declutter our home starting with Lucas’ toys and books, but more on that in another post.

What’s on your agenda for the next 364 days of the year? Let’s make ’em count!
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A Whirlwind Weekend

Posted on August 19, 2010 Written by Tonya

Ah, it’s finally Friday!

I am so excited about my weekend that I could pee in my pants. We have not one but TWO Dave Matthews Band shows with my husband’s 20 year *gulp* high school reunion in between.

The first concert is tonight in San Diego and these tickets:

have been on the refrigerator staring at me for months!! I love Dave and the boys and look forward to seeing them every summer. This will be my 18th and 19th show, much to my husband’s chagrin. He has fun, but he’d never admit it.

I can’t really explain why I love the Dave Matthews Band so much. Their music livens my soul, lifts my spirits and makes me believe in hope, peace and harmony for all mankind. Oh, and I think the lead singer is an amazing talent and in the words of my new favorite blogger, Roxanne at Days, “I’d lick his teeth”.

Tomorrow morning, we leave bright and early for the Bay Area for the reunion. Lucas grandparents will watch him while we mix and mingle and then we head home for show #2 in LA.

This second show is not on DMB’s tour schedule because it’s being hosted in someone’s – wait for it – BACKYARD!! Talk about peeing in my pants!! Can you say: once in a lifetime opportunity?! The event benefits the Tuition Assistance Fund at Heschel West Day School in Agoura, California by providing need-based scholarship to students. Heschel West teaches children in preschool through 5th grade “how to do things right and to do the right thing”. I cannot wait to report back on this. 🙂 🙂 🙂 Unfortunately no cameras or videos are allowed. 🙁 🙁 🙁

If you’re still with me, I bet you’re wondering what on earth I have to Flip Off today. Well, true, my life is pretty damn good right now, but I can ALWAYS find something irritating. This was a great week so I only have one teensy tiny flip and that honor is bestowed upon:

PACKING!

I hate packing.

I hate packing for a weekend, a long weekend, a week, even an overnight. It was bad enough when it was just me, but now that I have to pack for a 14 month old as well, I want to pull my hair out.

I pride myself on my ‘To Do’ lists and being uber organized, but when it comes to packing… ugh! Forget it! FLIP OFF!! The difficulty for me lies within the question: How am I suppose to know what I’m going to want to wear there based on what I feel like wearing today? And don’t even get me started on shoes! For Lucas, it’s: What if he has a blow out or gets sick, are two outfits a day going to be enough? Will it be chilly, will the hotel have sheets and blankets for the crib, etc. etc. etc.

If there was a company that would pack for me, I would seriously hire them, without even blinking an eye!

Thank you to Gigi at Kludgy Momfor this fun and very necessary (some weeks more than others) meme. This week she is taking her flips across the Atlantic to Pumpkin and Piglet in the U.K.

I hope everyone has a happy and safe weekend and please be sure to come back next week as I celebrate my one year blogoversary!

The best is yet to be.

I Am A Sucker For Awards Season

Posted on February 1, 2010 Written by Tonya

I love watching the Golden Globes, Emmys, Grammys and the coup de grace…the Oscars! I just love the red carpet. I’m the girl captivated in front of the TV watching the arrivals to see what everyone is wearing; the designer dresses, who’s with whom, the extravagant jewels, the hair, the makeup, all of it!

Thanks to my dear friend, Lindsey, I have been lucky enough to attend both an Emmy award ceremony (2007) and a Grammy night (2005). What a complete thrill!! Two nights I will never forget. There really is nothing like being there live.

Last night, I had to settle for watching the 56th Annual Grammy Awards from the comfort of my bed (which isn’t a bad place to be at all these days) and it was best Grammy show I had seen in a long while. There were, of course the multiple wardrobe changes and all the glitz and glamor of previous years, but the performances were breathtaking.

I was floored right out of the gate by Lady GaGa and Elton John’s opening medley of Poker Face, Speechless and Your Song and then Beyoncé kicked it in to high fierceness with If I Were a Boy and her rendition of Alanis Morissette’s You Oughta Know, and the Michael Jackson tribute was very touching, but it was Pink that had me with my jaw on the floor.

USA Today described her performance best: “The famously feisty singer/songwriter showed her dreamier, more buoyant side. A vision in white (until she disrobed, revealing a flesh-colored body suit), Pink sang sweetly and surely, even while suspended by wires, twirling in midair and soaked in water.”

If you weren’t a fan of Pink before this, I bet you are now. It was a beautiful performance and the lyrics to the song she sang, Glitter In The Air are too good not to share:

Have you ever fed a lover with just your hands?
Close your eyes and trust it, just trust it
Have you ever thrown a fist full of glitter in the air?
Have you ever looked fear in the face and said I just don’t care
It’s only half past the point of no return
The tip of the iceberg
The sun before the burn
The thunder before lightning
The breath before the phrase
Have you ever felt this way?

Have you ever hated yourself for staring at the phone?
Your whole life waiting on the ring to prove you’re not alone
Have you ever been touched so gently you had to cry?
Have you ever invited a stranger to come inside?

It’s only half past the point of oblivion
The hourglass on the table
The walk before the run
The breath before the kiss
And the fear before the flames
Have you ever felt this way?

There you are, sitting in the garden
Clutching my coffee,
Calling me ‘sugar’
You called me ‘sugar’

Have you ever wished for an endless night?
Laugh so the moon and the stars and pulled that rope tight
Have you ever held your breath and asked yourself
Will it ever get better than tonight?
Tonight

Of course, another huge highlight of the night for me was seeing my all time favorite, the Dave Matthews Band perform. Dare I say that Dave even looked rather dapper. Unfortunately, they lost out to Taylor Swift for Album of the Year, but I still heart DMB, their music always makes me smile.

The best is yet to be and I’d be lost without music.

My ipod Has Schizophrenia

Posted on October 14, 2009 Written by Tonya

I believe that everything is better with music and I love all different types; from bubble gum pop and jazz to Jay-Z and Radiohead (okay, Radiohead is one of your dad’s favorite bands, not mine, but I do have a two of their songs on my iPod).

Music is an incredibly powerful thing; it has the ability to uplift and motivate like nothing else. Just the right tune can put a smile on my face, a spring in my step, a wish in my heart or tear in my eye. It can make a long boring car ride more bearable and household chores dare I say, more fun to power through. It gives me that little extra something to go another few minutes on the treadmill.

I play music for you everyday. I have 15 days or 5316 songs on my iPod, so there is A LOT to choose from. My Essential playlist (otherwise known as the playlist of music I would have to have were I ever to find myself stranded on a deserted island and could only take one playlist), which you have probably listened to the most, includes 100 of my all time favorite songs. It is as eclectic as the rest of my music library. The first 10 songs are:

1. Ghost In You – The Psychedelic Furs
2. Rump Shaker – Wreckx-N-Effect
3. Melissa – The Allman Brothers Band
4. Anna Begins – Counting Crows
5. Love – Matt White
6. Peek-A-Boo – Sioxsie and the Banshees
7. Theme from “A Summer Place” – The Lettermen
8. Hallelujah – k.d. lang
9. Pig – Dave Matthews Band
10. Crazy – Patsy Cline

Each song is gorgeous, haunting and fun in their own special way. I think you can figure out which is which. 🙂

Music to me is like the sense of smell for others. It helps trigger a memory and hearing a certain song can bring me right back to that moment in time. For example, “Drive” by The Cars was my first slow dance, “Fade Into You” by Mazzy Star was the song playing on the radio when I got into my first(!) car accident, “Just Like Heaven” by The Cure will always remind me of dancing the night away in Newport Beach with my college roommate and our boyfriends, “You are the Sunshine of My Life” by Stevie Wonder is the song my sister sang at my wedding and “Addicted to Love” by Robert Palmer will always make me think of my dad. Actually, a lot of songs remind me of my dad, but that one in particular. He couldn’t get enough of the video featuring the scantily clad long legged chicks.

I am not a very good dancer, but I can carry a tune and you sure seem to like it when I start to move and groove and belt out with the chorus. I hope I am instilling in you an appreciation for music, if not a move or two you may bust out later in life.

The best is yet to be.

Reflections On 39 Years

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