Letters For Lucas

Wonders, Mishaps, Blunders and Joy.. commentary on my life as a mom in the form of letters to my son

Miles Of Smiles

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Sometimes it’s the simplest (and silliest) things make me the happiest. A pretty color of nail polish on my toes, an extended lunch with a good friend, receiving flowers for no reason at all, or a beautiful blue sky without a cloud in sight.

In no particular order, here’s a list of ten other things that always make me smile:

1. Half a dozen times a year, when I’m having a REALLY bad day, I’ll get a McDonald’s Happy Meal and I don’t know if it actually works or not, but I sure do feel better after having one.

2. I discontinued many of my magazine subscriptions once I became a mother, but I held on to In Style and each and every month it arrives in my mailbox, I can’t wait to find the time to devour it.

3. I love playing Scrabble on my iPhone and at any given time have 6-10 games going with various friends, but I also play against the computer and whenever I win, I get a huge sense of satisfaction!

4. I adore reading and wish I had more time for it. I love getting lost in a good book and hate finishing one, but thoroughly enjoy crossing another title off my list. The bookstore is one of my favorite places to pass the time and my book club is an absolute joy to be a part of. I’d rather read than watch TV any day.

5. I love living so close to the ocean and I try to take advantage of it as much as I can. I love taking long walks along the beach most of all and looking out as far as I can see. Nothing can put life more into perspective than when you think about just how small we really are.

6. Music alone can put me in a completely different state of mind and I love it for that. It can make me want to get up and dance, sing my heart out and twirl like a top or sit quietly, relax and remember.

7. Witnessing random acts of kindness make me elated! I enjoy seeing people looking out for one another; holding doors open, smiling when they pass you, or helping carry heavy loads. It restores my faith that humans are good and kind.

8. My husband. He is good, honest, caring supportive, level headed, a terrific father and puts up with all of my shit.

9. The euphoria you experience when done exercising. Physical activity is something I’ve done my whole life and I can’t imagine feeling healthy or happy without it. Don’t get me wrong, I am not jumping for joy to go to the gym, however, I am smiling REALLY BIG when I leave the gym sweaty, tired, triumphant and planning my next meal.

10. My son… I love watching everything he does, but his smile and laughter make me the happiest. Hearing him jabber away in his crib in the morning is a very close second.

The best is yet to be.

I wrote this post for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop – Prompt #3: Write a list of 10 things that are sure to put a smile on your face when you are not happy.

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Beauty Is All Around Us

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They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but it’s all around us too, if you look close enough…

Aside from wanting to raise a family with your dad and believing that children are some of the most charming and delightful people I know and can grow into charming and delightful adults, one of the selfish reasons that I wanted to have a child was because I thought it would s-l-o-w me down enough to more take notice and be more appreciative of my surroundings. So far, it’s working beautifully.

Everything is brand new to you and you are genuinely interested, curious and intrigued by all of it. I’m learning to see the world again through new eyes.

The best is yet to be.

Day 49/100

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All You Need Is Love

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As a celebration of your first eight months of life and a special Valentine’s gift for your dad, we made him a photo book using iPhoto.

I used to be a PC, but five months ago, the hard drive on my two-year old Dell went kaput and I have been getting used to Mac ever since. I love the Mac photo program. It is awesome and making this keepsake was a lot easier than I thought it would be. There are tons of color, layout and text options. If you are an Apple user, I highly recommend taking a look at it. You can make calendars, greeting cards and postcards too.

Here is our finished product:


Needless to say, he loved it!

As a side note, but still in the Valentine’s Day spirit, I subscribe to BabyCenter’s Baby Bulletin weekly e-mails and earlier last week I received one that made me smile that I want to share:

7 signs that your child loves you

  1. Your newborn stares into your eyes—he’s actually working hard to memorize your face. He doesn’t understand anything else about the world, but he knows you’re important.
  2. Your baby thinks about you even when you’re not around. Between 8 and 12 months old, he’ll start to scrunch his face and look around when you leave the room—and he’ll smile when you return.
  3. Your toddler throws wicked tantrums. Nope, those screaming fits don’t mean he’s stopped loving you. He wouldn’t be so hurt and angry if he didn’t trust you so deeply.
  4. Your toddler runs to you for comfort when he falls down or feels sad. Kids this age may not truly understand the meaning of “I love you,” but their actions speak louder than words.
  5. Your preschooler gives you a flower picked from the garden, a finger-painted heart, a sparkly rock, or another gift.
  6. Your preschooler wants your approval. He’ll start to be more cooperative around the house, and he’ll look for chances to impress. “Look at me!” will become a catchphrase.
  7. Your grade-schooler trusts you with secrets, like his first crush or his most embarrassing moment. You’re his confidante, even if he shies away from your hugs in public.

Who knew that a temper tantrum could be a sign of affection?

The article, How love blossoms between you and your child is worth a read too.

Happy lovers day, everyone!

The best is yet to be.

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Hopes, Dreams & Wishes

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Long before I ever thought I’d even have children and certainly long before I had you, I bought this little sweater. I found it at Old Navy, of all places. It was originally $16.50 and had been marked down to $3.99. The tag is still on it.

I thought it was adorable. Navy blue is my favorite color and I loved the heart with the arrow going through it. Something came over me and I just had to have it. I remember thinking at the time, I’m no where near ready to have children, why on earth am I buying this?!?

It’s simple and sweet really. This tiny little sweater represented something stupendous and wonderful to me. It represented where my life was going to be someday. Where my life, if I was lucky enough, was heading… True love, romance, marriage, children, baby clothes, bottles, blankets, giggles and a lifetime of memorable firsts and happy moments.

The sweater stayed safely wrapped in tissue paper in the back of my pajama drawer for years and Valentine’s Day always reminds me that I have it. Until now, I have only shared it with one person…your daddy.

It’s a bit too girly for you and I don’t think you’d fit into anyway, it’s a size 3-6 months, but it hangs in your closet, as a reminder to me of my hopes and dreams and wishes and the realization that they have come true.

I love you, baby. Happy Valentine’s Day!

The best is yet to be.

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If You Give A Mom A Camera

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Most people are shocked to learn that every single day, without fail I text a photo of you to your grandparents, aunts and dad. It’s not a big deal and it’s my little way of making them feel close to you, even when they are far away.

Here are a few of my recent favorites:





If you give a mom a camera, inevitably it’s because you are as cute as a bug and she’ll want to snap your photo and share it with the world.

I love my little boy!

The best is yet to be.

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The Gift Of An Ordinary Day

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My mother-in-law sent me this beautiful video today of best-selling author Katrina Kenison reading to a group from her latest book, The Gift Of An Ordinary Day: A Mother’s Memoir.

Please don’t be discouraged by the length; it’s a little over seven minutes long, but worth every single one.

May we all embrace the gift of an ordinary day.

The best is yet to be.

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You Own My Heart

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It must be so frustrating being a baby. It must be terribly defeating not having the capability to communicate what it is that you want or need, when you want and need it. Without words, you are virtually crippled. You cry and whine and hope that your caretakers figure it out, but it usually takes them a while (particularly if one of your caretakers is me). It is so unfair to you and babies everywhere and it makes me feel bad, especially when you are sick. There really is nothing worse than a sick helpless baby.

Sometimes I look at you and wonder if you know how much you are loved. I can officially say, without a doubt, you own my heart. I didn’t fall in love with you immediately, I had to get to know a little bit first. Now that I do, there’s no turning back… The love you feel for your own child is really indescribable. It’s deeper and wider than any other love there is.

I wonder if you feel my love? I have to think (hope) that on some level you do, like when you physically reach for me or draw yourself closer to me. That’s early stages of affection, isn’t it? Maybe it’s just the instinctive need for the maternal caregiver?

I know love isn’t enough when you are bored, over stimulated, tired, or just need a good burp, but I hope you know we are/I am trying and that I would do anything for you. I would do anything to make you smile.

Your Aunt Leah wrote you this poem shortly after you were born and posted it on her blog recently. It’s sweet, simple and I don’t think truer words have ever been said. I will treasure it always and hope that you will too.

Forever and Ever
Your parents made you with all of their love.
They had help from your mom’s parents up above.
We’ll love you forever, this much I know is true.
I can say for certain that there’s no one else like you.
As you grow up, we’ll do everything that we can
to make sure that you grow up to be a great man.
We promise to teach you all kinds of different things;
Like how to listen and what possibilities life brings.
You’ll learn how to play, work and how to read.
You will learn everything that you’ll surely need.
But most of all, we’ll show you how to love and care.
In this crazy world we live in, those feelings are often rare.
Right now, you are very small and you have your father’s looks.
Maybe when you’re older, you’ll be like your mother and love to read books.
Well, Lucas, let’s treasure every moment we have together.
I will always love you forever and ever.

The best is yet to be and I, too will love you forever and ever.

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Rain, Rain, Go Away

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The sun finally peeked through the clouds enough for us to go for a walk earlier. I think the fresh air did us both some good. Unfortunately, somewhere between here and there, I lost my iPod Shuffle. I retraced my steps three times before I found it…destroyed on the side of the road! 🙁 Oh well, it was nice spending time with you and hearing you happily jibber jabbering as we strolled.

I am still feeling horrible about our rough night and your tiny little infected ears and I’m sorry that I don’t always know exactly what you need when you need it, but I do know that I can illicit a smile from you whenever you hear me sing this song:

The best is yet to be.

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