Letters For Lucas

Wonders, Mishaps, Blunders and Joy.. commentary on my life as a mom in the form of letters to my son

20 Months

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Unbelievably, Lucas is 20 months old today!

He is the light of my life and his personality just gets better and brighter each and every day. Lucas’ retention blows my mind daily and his growing vocabulary is impressive to everyone he meets.

We ran into my friend, Kat at the grocery store the other evening and after chatting with her for a few minutes, I asked him to tell her goodbye and he said, “bye, bye meow meow”. Priceless!

Lucas has learned to talk in full sentences, which is a lot of fun and always interesting to hear what comes out of his mouth. No more than two or three words, but sentences nonetheless; “Mommy’s cup”, “Mommy sit”, “Mommy help”, “more juice”, “Elmo show”, “go, go, Percy”, “fast, fast, fast” and he’s also on a “I see a….” kick.

He loves playing matching games, hide-and-seek with his bottle, running around our backyard, dancing and playing DJ with my iPhone and has stopped eating crayons, which is huge! This week, I’m going to introduce him to Play-Doh.

Lucas is trying to ditch his nap, which is stressing me out, but I’m going to try to get him to hold on to it a little while longer. Wish me luck.

His latest favorite thing to do by far is play choo choos. He has a starter train track set and 15 trains and at least three have to go with us every where. He is a Thomas the Train (and Friends) fanatic!

I love this child and all the smiles and giggles he provides on daily, sometime hourly basis. 🙂

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Laughter In The Backyard

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My sister is so good with Lucas and their relationship is simply endearing to witness.

Lucas’ face lights up whenever we speak of aunt Leah and her visits are always too short.

Leah recently spent five days helping me out while Todd was away on a business trip and I could swear there was more laughter in (and out of) the house.

We have been blessed with some gorgeous sunny winter weather, allowing for some fun in the backyard. Lucas calls it his “park” and since he can’t yet be out there on his own, one or both of us are always out there with him.

On Saturday morning, Leah and I were both lounging on the chaises watching Lucas run around the yard having a great time, when all of a sudden he was sort of over it and wanted to go back inside. Leah and I, on the other hand were enjoying soaking in the sun, not quite ready to start the day and both wanted to stay put.

Leah bounced up and started chasing Lucas around the yard and then he’d turn around and chase her. This is a game Lucas loves and he and I play it often. Leah’s twist on the game was every time she “caught” him, she tackled him to the ground and tickled him.

His laughter was divine. It’s moments like this that make me hope my son and my sister always remain as close as they are today.

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Three Little Words

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There are a handful of moments in your life that you just know while it’s happening you’re going to remember for the rest of your life.

Motherhood is full of them; the first time your child smiles at you (and you know it’s not gas), the first time you hear them say “mama”, where and when their first steps take place, and this…

After spending a few hours last Sunday at the world’s most beautiful shopping mall, South Coast Plaza, located dangerously close to our new home in Orange County, we were in the car driving home and I was asking Lucas if he had a good time and reviewing all of the fun things we did and saw.

We talked about the cars at the toy store and the dinosaur on display in the window, whose mouth would open and shut, the elevator button he pushed, the escalator we rode, the big balloons for sale in the center of the mall, the colorful horses on the carousel (that we also rode) that went up and down and the great dinner he ate.

It was an animated conversation and he was responding enthusiastically to all of my questions and being really cute and playful.

As we were nearing home, he let out a perfectly timed “ouf” as in, “wow, we did do a lot and boy, am I exhausted!”. Todd and I both giggled and I said, “I love you, Lucas.” To which he replied…

“I do too”.

And just like that, I welled up and got tears in my eyes.

Okay, so it wasn’t a direct “I love you”, but he knew what he was saying and it melted my heart.

Since then, Daddy (of course) has gotten several actual “I love yous”, but I’m still only getting the “I do too”.

Whether he means he loves himself or me, I’ll take it and I’ll always remember the first time he said it.

For those of you with today off for Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, I hope you are enjoying it with the ones you love.

This piece was featured on Nichole’s blog, In These Small Moments, in her weekly feature, Small Moments Spotlights — Week 3 on February 4, 2011.

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I Love It When…

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I love it when Lucas is sitting on my lap for a story or next to me on the couch watching TV and his body goes limp and melts into mine. I love feeling him let his weight go. After a while, the rhythm of our breath is in time with each others.

He’s a toddler on the go, so these are fleeting moments that don’t last very long, but we are learning how to relax together.

I love when Lucas runs up to me with a big sparkling smile, arms open wide and gives me a hug. He is starting to be very affectionate, especially when he’s done something naughty. It must be his way of apologizing?

He’s a toddler but somehow already understands the power of touch and importance of affection.

I love overhearing Lucas try to sing along with me, the radio or television. He doesn’t yet know the words to any songs, but he tries his best and often gets the inflection spot on.

He’s a toddler and is already experimenting with his voice and musical abilities.

I love it when Lucas is playing with his “choo choos”, cars or stuffed animals and makes sweet sounds, dances as goes along and creates pathways that not only go all over the house, but up and down my arms and legs too.

He’s a toddler but is using his imagination to expand his world.

He’s a toddler and he is growing up right before my eyes.

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Project Smile – November

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A smile is the light in the window of your face that tells people you’re at home. – Author Unknown

Another month of reasons to smile!

1st – Last day of our Kindermusik class. This was our fourth session
2nd – I voted!
3rd – A glorious walk along our beautiful ocean with my beautiful friend, Jenn.
4th – A happy little traveler.
5th – Officially in escrow!
6th – Enjoyed a nice long lunch with a dear friend and Lucas turned 17 months!
7th – Celebrated my niece’s golden birthday.
8th – I got to hold my girlfriend’s newborn baby boy and remember back to when Lucas was so tiny.
9th – Took a peaceful walk along the beach and saw dolphins. A walk is always better with dolphins.
10th – Remembered my mother with love. She would have been 62 today.
11th – Finally got my hair cut and colored. It had been almost THREE months. So long, grays!
12th – Daydreaming about a brilliant future.
13th – Lucas found a mud puddle and he was happy as a clam to play in it.
14th – My best friend’s birthday and a fun day date with my husband complete with movie popcorn.
15th – Exercising my freedom of speech.
16th – Epic carrot cake.
17th – Dinner, wine and good conversation with a dear friend.
18th – Children that take three hour naps.
19th – Family.
20th – I threw a little shindig and brought some of the coolest bloggers together that I know: Kludgy Mom, Surfer Wife, Mommy of a Monster, The Little Hen House, Mommypants, Not Just Another Jen, A Beautiful Mess and Mamaondago
21st – A visit to the bookstore and train table.
22nd – Oprah’s final Favorite Things episode.
23rd – Hiring a mover.
24th – Catching up on TiVo.
25th – Family, friends, good health, a little money in the bank and a clean kitchen.
26th – Sushi and pool with our neighbors.
27th – Dinner and a movie with my sister.
28th – Family picture in front of our new house.
29th – Story time and shaking our sillies out at the library
30th – Donating three huge bags of clothes and other household items to Goodwill. Purging feels so good!

I hope I wasn’t the only one that found so many reasons to smile this month!

Alicia is the brain child behind this wonderful meme. Be sure to link up at her blog, A Beautiful Mess or check out other people’s lists.

You can see my October reasons to smile here.
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Happy Thoughts

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Introducing Happy Thoughts!

All my life I have collected quotes and sayings that I strongly identified with in some way. If they moved me enough, I’d copy them down, share them with friends, post them on my bulletin board, refrigerator or mirror. I carry them around with me in my wallet and revisit them as needed.

From time to time, I’ll post the inspirational words I find, here.

I hope they speak to you too.

Enjoy!
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Project Smile – October

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October has become a notoriously bad month for me because it is the month my parents died three years ago and my plate right now is very full with lots of other stresses, but thanks to Alicia’s (A Beautiful Mess) Project Smile, here are 31 reasons I found to be happy this month:

1st – The kindness of strangers along the Susan G. Komen for the Cure route.
2nd – Walking across the Golden Gate Bridge. I got to cross #23 off my Buried List!
3rd – A celebratory dinner with Leah. We just walked 60 miles!!
4th – Home sweet home, coming home to Lucas. This was the longest I have ever been away from him.
5th – Pink toe nails.
6th – I made dinner!
7th – Blind (lunch) date with @surferwife.
8th – An impromptu overnight trip to Palm Springs.
9th – Coming home. Lucas didn’t fair very well in the hotel room, so none of us got any sleep.
10th – Watching Lucas’ face light up at all the trains at Travel Town in Griffith Park.
11th – Just a regular ole day where everything goes exactly according to plan.
12th – A great two-hour long workout! I love to sweat.
13th – After being in 102 degree heat at the pumpkin patch… air conditioner!
14th – A much overdue date night at one of my favorite restaurants.
15th – Five grown women making silly faces, funny noises and dancing around trying to get two toddlers to smile for pictures at the pumpkin patch and a champagne toast to two very special people.
16th – Finding a darling house with a nice big backyard and plenty of room to grow. Unfortunately, we had to let it go because we want our current house to sell first. But I know another one just like it or better is out there!
17th – Manicure, pedicure, lunch and shopping with a BFF.
18th – A jammy day! We played hookie from music class and spent the day in front of the TV.
19th – Leaving my therapist’s office after an eight month long hiatus and knowing that I’m going to be okay…eventually.
20th – Mommy & Me group mommies only get together. Where would I be without these women?
21st – I FINALLY got the oil changed in my car.
22nd – Finished one book and started and finished another!
23rd – A family bike ride. Lucas loves his helmet.
24th – We spent all day shopping for Lucas! He got new pants, shirts, shoes, bibs and a Thomas the Train set.
25th – A gift from a far away friend. Thank you, Sophie for the soap, it smells too pretty to use. xoxo
26th – A three hour long nap! Mommy was very productive today.
27th – Wine, wine and more wine with friends.
28th – Playing cars with Lucas. An entire hour flew by and I didn’t even realize it.
29th – Seeing Steeping Feet, a Dave Matthews Band tribute band.
30th – A husband who lets the mother of his child sleep in.
31st – My little Superman. And candy corn.

Be sure to link up at Alicia’s (A Beautiful Mess) Project Smile, or check out her reasons to smile this month. Her photographs are some of the most boo-tiful you will ever see. 🙂
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In Treatment – Update

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I can’t thank you enough for the support and words of wisdom on my In Treatment (click here to read the original post) post a couple of weeks ago.

I’m pretty much an open book when it comes to this blog, and as I’ve said before I use my writing as a way to get stuff off my chest, clear my head and share myself with my son and readers. I was a bit apprehensive about admitting that I need professional help and that I was going (back) to therapy.

Therapy has such a negative stigma associated with it and I was very nervous about the response I would receive by making such an admission, but I had no reason to be. Once again, the blog world and family and friends alike lifted me up instead of knocking me down and the outreach and positive response was overwhelming. Thank you! Thank you for supporting me and thank you for being so wonderful.

I’ve had my first appointment and it went really well. I’m looking forward to more and while I’m on this journey to happiness, clarity and understanding, here are just a few things that make me smile along the way:

Life is pretty good, after all.

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Father & Son

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On the way to dinner the other night, I captured one of my favorite photos to date of Lucas and his dad.

I mean, are you kidding me?

This is a pure vanilla ice cream with melted ooey gooey chocolate and rainbow sprinkles on top kind of love!

This post is for Wordless Wednesdays and if you want to link up or see some really beautiful photographs, visit Alicia at A Beautiful Mess.

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