Letters For Lucas

Wonders, Mishaps, Blunders and Joy.. commentary on my life as a mom in the form of letters to my son

Over 400 Miles To Go

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Another lovely holiday with lots of goodies in tow,
We had over 400 miles to go.

You slept the first two hours full of bliss,
And then suddenly awakened, you were completely pissed.

We stopped for a break, new diaper and food,
Jammies, we thought surely would help achieve an improved attitude?

Then back in the car,
Mommy and Daddy became the ultimate rock stars!

Your expression was priceless and your face all aglow,
As a tiny TV came out of the roof and there appeared your favorite show!

Was it Thomas the Train that saved the day,
Or that nice Toyota dealer who said we couldn’t buy it any other way?

We made it home safe and sound, but the secret is out,
And I think it’s safe to say, car rides will never be the same for our little sprout.

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The Spirit Of Christmas – Redux

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I originally posted this last year (December 16, 2009 / The Spirit of Christmas) back when I only had 16 followers.

The memories and sentiments remain true today, so with very few edits, I’d like to share it with you again and from my house to yours, Merry Christmas!

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My mother loved Christmastime and our house was always decked out for the holidays. She was the reason Hallmark Cards exists!

We always had a beautiful tree covered with colorful international treasures from our life overseas and all the traveling we had done together.

She loved snow globes and nativity scenes and every year one whole couch would be completely covered with her motley crew of Christmas guys (stuffed animals dressed in red and green).

She had Christmas dishes strewn about the house filled with holiday candy and would have enough baked goods on hand to guarantee at least a three to five pound weight gain after each visit.

She was a big fan of the Christmas letter (writing and receiving them) and she loved shopping for our holiday cards and stationary the day after Christmas for the following year. I remember many 5:00 AM alarms going off on December 26 and the two of us rifling through bins of picked over greeting cards to find enough boxes for everyone on her and my father’s Christmas list. I swear they must have sent 300 cards!

I miss my mother every day but especially during the holiday season. She made Christmas special and a lot more fun with her childlike enthusiasm and overall joy. My dad, on the other hand, was the exact opposite. Sure, he loved the Christmas cookies and other goodies, but growing up, his family would put up their Christmas tree the day before Christmas and take it down the day after, or so he said.

He would often tell my mom to buy what she wanted and he would wrap it and put it under the tree. Over the years, he started to get into it more and I think even began to enjoy picking out gifts for all of us and eventually came to understand the element of surprise, however, his wrapping always left a lot to be desired! See picture above; that is VHS tape wrapped around a present. My dad also had a vast collection of holiday music and liked to play it constantly the week of Christmas.

One of my favorite family holiday traditions on Christmas day was after all the presents were opened and prominently displayed in front of the tree (another tradition), we would go to a movie. Many big blockbusters open on Christmas day and we had fun trying to agree on which one to see. After the movie we would come home and make leftover turkey sandwiches and each have a slice of pie. Chocolate pudding for me, pumpkin for my dad, and pecan for my mom and sister.

It’s hard to believe that this will be my fourth Christmas without my parents and second with Lucas. It is very different now and for me it has lost some of the magic.

Leah and I have kept the tradition of seeing a movie on Christmas Day, followed by lunch together, just the two of us. We spend a lot of time reminiscing and looking forward too.

My in-laws have done their best to include me and my sister in their holiday, but I am looking forward to creating new traditions with Lucas and hopefully seeing some of that lost Christmas spirit shine through him.
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A Symbol Of Love & Loss

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In November 2007, a month after my parents died, my husband, sister and I traveled to Tunisia to visit the school, ACST (American Cooperative School of Tunis), where they worked. We wanted to spend time where they last had, visit with their colleagues and gain some peace and understanding. It was also important to me to be the ones that cleared out their home.

It was a difficult trip to say the least, but necessary for our grieving process. We were met with much understanding and support and much of the time we were not only being consoled but were consoling.

In a very touching ceremony, the school planted two olive trees* in a common area on campus and dedicated one to each of my parents while we were in town.That year for Christmas my husband had an olive tree planted for me in our side yard.

This was taken the day the tree was planted:

It was almost an exact replica to the ones planted for my parents continents away. right down to the white stones. Luckily, however, it is a non olive producing tree, for that would just be a mess!

In three years it has almost doubled in size.

This is me pregnant with Lucas at 30 weeks:

This was taken the day we moved:

I love this tree and will always appreciate the kind gesture that my husband made in finding and having it planted at our home. It will forever remind me of our trip to Tunis, the two trees that grow and bloom there in memory of my parents and of course, my parents themselves.

Todd is working with our old gardener and the new residents to either move the tree to a farm until we buy our next house and can plant it there, or keep it with the old house until we are ready to transplant it.

*The olive tree is native to the Mediterranean and a cultural symbol of Tunisia.

Silvery green leaves are oblong in shape and in spring small white flowers bloom. With age, the trunk is typically gnarled and twisted.

Tunisia produces 500,000 tons of olives each year. Many of Tunisia’s olive trees are believed to be over 2,000 years old.

The olive tree is one of the plants most often mentioned in literature. In Homer’s “Odyssey”, Odysseus crawls beneath two olive tree branches that grow from a single stock. The Roman poet, Horace mentions it in reference to his own diet, which he describes as very simple: “As for me, olives, endives, and smooth mallows provide sustenance.”

Olive trees are symbols of abundance, glory and peace.

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Where Are You From?

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“Where are you from?”

It’s such an ordinary question.

It’s right up there with, “what do you do?”.

All my life, however, my answer has been rather complicated.

As a response, “I was born in Texas, but grew up overseas” is rarely satisfactory. I think it’s the word: overseas. It sounds so exotic.

And it is.

Sort of.

The inquirer, if they want to know more, usually follows up with,”military brat?”

“No.”

“Peace Corps?”

“No, my parents worked in American-International schools and I lived all over.”

This reply is typically faced with one of two reactions:

1) A simple “oh”, due to lack of time and/or interest.

Or

2) “Oh, where?”

Usually it’s 2) and then I list all the places I’ve lived; Karachi, Pakistan, Banjul, The Gambia in West Africa and Maracaibo, Venezuela.

It’s an impressive list, if I do say so myself. What’s even more impressive is that my parents continued to live and work aboard for another 18 years in four other countries (Somalia, Mozambique, Myanmar and Tunisia) after I returned to the states to attend college.

The 11 years (ages 7 – 17) I spent as an expat had its ups and downs, but for the most part was exciting, educational and a lot of fun. And I knew no different.

Every place I lived was coastal, so I grew to love the water. English was predominately spoken and my friends were mostly European, many of which I am still close with. I was exposed to more people, food, culture, customs, political beliefs and poverty than many of my American counterparts ever would be. I have had six passports, still have the travel bug and enjoy exploring outside the U.S. at least once a year. Luckily, I married someone with that same need and together, we want to show Lucas as many places around the globe as we can.

I feel so blessed to have had the opportunity to experience so much world travel and at such a young age, but there really is no place like the good ole US of A.

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Globe Trotting

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While at the library recently (a favorite place to visit in our neighborhood), I asked Lucas if he could go anywhere in the world, where would he like to go. He promptly spun the globe and then stopped it and pointed to Australia.

Wouldn’t you know it; that’s a place he’s actually already been? You can read about our trip here. We had a magnificent trip and I, too would return in an heartbeat.

This post is for Wordless Wednesdays and if you want to link up or see some really beautiful photographs, visit Alicia at A Beautiful Mess.

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Seattle

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My mother was born in Seattle in 1948, but didn’t live there very long before moving to Texas, D.C. and then around the world. I wish I knew more about her life there and where exactly she lived.

I had never been to the “Emerald City” until March of 2002. I spent a long weekend visiting my dear and heartbroken friend, Sarah. Shortly after moving to Washington from Arizona, she and her then fiance had just broken off their engagement. It was a rainy, deary and sad trip. I was immensely proud of my friend for staying in a new city, making new friends and finding a new job, especially given all the rain the Northwest gets. So much rain that I never cared to return.

Never say never.

I now have nothing but kind words for a city that has made it’s way on my short list of favorite cities in the U.S.

I just returned from a fabulous weekend in Seattle. From the famed Pike Place Market overlooking Elliot Bay with it’s fresh fish, flowers, fruits and vegetables to the Space Needle and birth place of Jimi Hendrix and grunge music, I have nothing but kind words for a city that is now on my short list of favorite cities in the U.S.

The main reason for my trip was to celebrate Sarah and her new fiance, Chris at an engagement party hosted by her wonderful friends (some of Sarah’s same friends that I met eight years ago).

Another highlight was seeing an old friend from junior high school! 22 years later and we picked up right where we left off. I love it when that happens. To me, it is the definition of true friendship. My visit with Siobhain did wonders for my soul.

Next summer, we will return as a family when we attend Sarah and Chris’ wedding.

Here are a few of my favorite shots from the weekend:

By the way, it did rain on Sunday.

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Flying Solo

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Lucas and I have been on 10 solo journeys together that involved airports, airplanes and lots of gear. Last weekend I went to Seattle to attend my good friend, Sarah’s engagement party (more on that in another post) and I went alone!

I haven’t traveled without a child in SO long.

Here are some of my childless travel observations:

  • I actually dressed up for my flight and by “dressing up” I mean that I wore real shoes instead of flip flops and my “good” jeans.
  • I checked my suitcase so that I could walk on the plane carrying only a reasonably sized purse.
  • There wasn’t any struggling with a stroller, squirmy child, two pairs of shoes, diaper bag or waiting for FAA to “test” bottles of formula when going through security.
  • I took the stairs whenever possible instead of elevators.
  • I didn’t have to walk around the terminal trying to tire out someone by looking at airplanes, other children or anything else.
  • I bought and read an entire issue of People magazine and completed the crossword puzzle.

  • I’m sure it’ll be days before I get to crack it open again, but I read 100 pages of a new book (Little Bee by Chris Cleave) while on board.

  • There were no beads of sweat collecting on my brow because I wasn’t accompanied by someone prone to get overly loud or have meltdowns at 37,000 feet.
  • The last thing on my mind on the layover and hour delay on the way home was running out of diapers.
  • I thoroughly enjoyed strolling through the airport newsstand and waiting in a long line to use the bathroom in peace.
  • On the flight home I took a much needed uninterrupted nap.
  • I loved waltzing off the aircraft without having to wait for the ground crew to bring me our stroller

  • I appreciated the time away, but missed my little travel buddy and look forward to our next adventure together.

I am glad to be home.

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Daddy’s Home!

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Lucas’ dad travels a lot for work and rarely for fun. Last weekend he went to Reno with some college friends to attend a Cal Bears football game. Unfortunately, his alma mater lost, but he was a big winner when he got home.

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On My Own

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My husband travels for work a lot. He takes at least 14 business trips per year, most of them only lasting two to three days. Tomorrow is leaving for a whole week.

Usually I have my sister or mother-in-law come visit so that they can help me out, but this time, I’m going to do it all alone. I know what you’re thinking… I’m crazy, right? You’re probably right.

I do have 10 hours of nanny help each week as it is, but beyond that I have some fun things planned for Lucas and me to do, so we (I) should be okay. Of course, I did wake up this morning with a sore throat and now my head feels like it’s going to explode, I’m so stuffed up, but I’ll be okay. I’ll let you know how I’m holding up in a couple of days.

Back to my husband traveling… every time he goes away, he mails Lucas a postcard from wherever in the world he may be. It’s better than having him buy some awful overpriced trinket at the airport and so much more thoughtful. When the postcards arrive (usually after Todd has returned home), I read them to Lucas and them promptly display them on the memo board in Lucas’ bedroom. The notes are sweet, mean a lot to me and I know someday will mean a lot to Lucas too, or will he just be bitter that his dad traveled so much when he was an infant?

At 14 months, Lucas doesn’t seem to really notice when daddy is away for an extended period of time, but he does look around for him and starts asking for him around 5:30 each evening and gets very excited whenever he sees his picture pop up on my phone, when Todd calls me.

For those of you with small children and spouses that travel, how are you teaching your child(ren) to stay connected to the parent that is away? Phone calls? Skype? iChat? I feel like it’s only a matter of time before this becomes a potential problem. I appreciate your insight and any advice you can offer.

I’m off to find some NyQuil.

The best is yet to be.

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