Letters For Lucas

Wonders, Mishaps, Blunders and Joy.. commentary on my life as a mom in the form of letters to my son

Bon Voyage – NaBloPoMo

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My sister and I won’t be baking together this holiday season, she won’t be helping me with the children, shopping for and wrapping last minute presents or waking up at our house Christmas morning.

We won’t go to our annual Christmas Day movie after all the presents have been opened and displayed under the tree, we won’t be sharing pie for breakfast the day after and we won’t be exchanging gifts until New Year’s Eve.

For the first time in my son’s life (seven Christmases) and only the second in my own, since she was born, Leah will not be with us for Christmas.

My sister and her boyfriend, Aaron are going on a once-in-a-lifetime trip to Cambodia, Thailand and Myanmar (formally known as Burma). They leave December 10 and don’t return until December 29. I am over the moon excited for them, especially Aaron, who hasn’t done much traveling.

This trip will change them in ways they have yet to discover, strengthen them as a couple and give Leah an opportunity to visit a place where she spent much of her youth.

Leah lived in Burma for six years with our parents and graduated from the International School of Yangon in 2002. I had the opportunity to attend her high school graduation and visit this beautiful country for myself. I’m thrilled she’s going back, taking this adventure and pleased that she kept in touch with friends in Burma to visit while she and Aaron are there.

But.

I will miss her tremendously. My children will miss her too.

bonvoyage

Christmas simply will not be the same without her.

I’ll be waiting for their safe return, can’t wait to hear all about their travels and look forward to ringing in the New Year with her and Aaron and his family.

Bon voyage, Leah and Aaron and hurry home!

NaBloPoMo November 2015

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New York State Of Mind – NaBloPoMo

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New York was amazing.

New York is amazing! So much energy and life and lights and sights and sounds.

I hate to admit I was apprehensive about going.

I’ve never been away from my children for that long (four days!) and never that far! I was worried about the state of world affairs, especially after the terrorist attacks in Paris and spent the whole weekend leading up to our flight talking myself into the trip and then out of it again. I thought at the very least, Todd and I should travel separately. I was a basket case.

But then my wise friend Nichole, who knew what I was going through, sent me this quote the day before our trip and it solidified my decision:

There is a saying in Tibetan, ‘Tragedy should be utilized as a source of strength.’ No matter  what sort of difficulties, how painful experience is, if we lose our hope, that’s our real disaster. – Dalai Lama XIV

I’m glad we went.

It was good to get away, spend time reconnecting with my husband and nice to savor meals, sleep in and have no agenda, no where we had to be. Plus, New York is gorgeous this time of year!

We spent an entire day in Central Park and I took hundreds of photographs. These are some of my favorite.

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Central Park – November 17, 2015

imagine

Located near Central Park West between 71st and 74th Streets, Strawberry Fields is a 2.5 acre area of Central Park that pays tribute to the late Beatle, John Lennon, singer, songwriter, musician and peace activist. John Lennon and his wife Yoko Ono lived in the Dakota Apartments adjacently located to this area of the park. It was here, walking into his home, on December 8, 1980, that John Lennon was murdered and shot dead.

angelofwaters

Bethesda Fountain rises high above Bethesda Terrace, looking over the hundreds of visitors that come every day to enjoy the view of the lake and relax at the “heart” of the Central Park. The sculpture that tops it, Angel of Waters, was designed by Emma Stebbins in 1873 and is one of the most recognizable icons in the entire park.

I also got to meet one of my favorite bloggers, Kirsten of The Kir Corner and not that I am surprised, but she is just as lovely in person as she is online!

hope

This powerful and bold word for anybody living in the 21st century is on the corner of 53rd Street and 7th Avenue. This Robert Indiana piece is just as important and powerful as “LOVE” (which is close by on 55th Street and 6th Ave).

NaBloPoMo November 2015
I suck.

I really tried to post every day of this month, but with travel and packing, unpacking and packing again (we leave for San Francisco tomorrow), plus laundry, having Lucas home and everything else in between, it didn’t work out.

Oh well.

This will be my 19th post of the month.

And I’ve missed three days so far. Sigh.

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    Half Way Point – NaBloPoMo

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    Two things.

    It’s November 15, which means I have reached the half way point of NaBloPoMo!!

    15 days in a row of blog posting. 15 days of writing. I haven’t done that in a very long time.

    I’m thrilled and don’t want to lose the momentum, but this is when the blog post a day program for me may go a little sideways.

    My husband and I are headed out of town tomorrow for four days, just the two of us.

    Scandalous, I know.

    Where are we going you ask? New York!

    And I am not taking my laptop.

    I have a couple of posts scheduled but I may miss a day or two.

    I’ll make up up for it. I’m completely committed to publishing for 30 days in a row, a couple of those days may fall into December.

    Sorry for the non-post post, but I gotta get back to packing and snuggling my children. This will be the longest I’ve ever been away from them. Sigh.

    NaBloPoMo November 2015

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      10 Things My Parents Did Right

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      It’s easy to hold my parents up on a very high pedestal since they are no longer living, but they really were good people. Warm and funny and able to talk to anyone. They dedicated their lives to educating children all over the world and always made me feel special. They did a lot of things wrong but they also did a lot of things right.

      10 Things My Parents Taught Me:

      1. How to be a good friend.
      My parents taught me how to be a good friend, trustworthy and honest and always have a strong moral compass. They showed me the importance of sticking up for the underdog while treating everyone with kindness and respect. They also taught me to practice hospitality. The door to our house was always open and my family loved to entertain guests and made anyone who entered our home feel comfortable.

      2. A love of reading.
      My parents instilled a love of reading in me early in life. The walls of our home were lined with books, my first word was “book” and I remember getting my first library card at the age of five.

      3. Respect for myself.
      A small example of this would be that a boy should never honk the horn and expect me to come running out to his car, he should get out, walk up to the door and greet my parents. This only happened to me once.

      4. How to have fun.
      I was taught that there is a time for work, a time for play, and maybe even a time for both.

      5. Compassion for my fellowman.
      My parents gave when they were able and taught me that I should always show mercy and kindness towards other people and treat them in a way that I want to be treated.

      6. A love of school and learning.
      My parents taught me to value education and to excel in school. Maybe because they were educators themselves, but I have always loved school and hold a very special place in my heart for teachers.

      7. A love of travel.
      My parents decided to work and live overseas when I was seven-years-old and we never looked back. Their career spanned almost 30 years in seven different countries, many of them third world. My childhood was spent in four different countries and seeing so many different cultures was an amazing way to grow up. I have had the “travel bug” forever and continue to enjoy long journeys to far away places in large part due to my mom and dad’s adventurous spirit.

      8. Argue in private.
      I can’t even count on one hand the number of arguments I witnessed my parents having, although I’m sure they did. They weren’t perfect but to my knowledge they kept that side of their marriage separate from me.

      9. The art of conversation.
      I swear my mom and dad could talk to anyone! They always expressed an interest in my friends and it was important to them to get to know them, even some of the unfavorable boys I dated. My father was particularly comfortable with strangers and curious about where the people he met came from and what made them tick.

      10. They let me go when I was ready to leave.
      As a mother myself, this must be the hardest parenting task there is. And also the most critical. My mom and dad did it beautifully and continued to love me unconditionally and support the decisions I made as an adult.

      I miss my parents everyday and wish so much that they could see me as a mother. I wish I could turn to them for parenting advice. I draw on how I was raised to raise my children and I can only hope that I am doing it right.

      What did your parents do right?

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      Old School Blogging: Full-On Random

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      I’m linking up with Elaine of The Miss Elaine-ous Life and Julia from Wine in Mom for a little Old School Blogging and today and it is going to get random!

      1. If you could be on a reality show which one would you choose?
      None! I’m not a fan of reality TV. I think most of it scripted so there’s nothing really “real” about it and it completely salacious and I feel so embarrassed for whomever is  being featured. If I had to choose though it’d be Chopped. I’d be the first one kicked off, but I would have a hell of a time with that first basket of mystery items!

      2. Name one thing you have saved from your childhood?
      I’m a sentimental fool and I’ve saved tons of stuff from my childhood; concert ticket stubs, playbill, favorite dolls, Barbies, and my Raggedy Ann & Andy blankie.

      3. If your life had a theme song what would it be?
      That’s a hard one, I associate with so many different songs for all the different chapters of my life. I wrote a post called The Soundtrack Of My Life back in 2010 and revisiting it, the only song I’d add is A Thousand Years by Christina Perri because it wouldn’t be my life without it. Incidentally, for the back story on that, I wrote Live & In Person.

      4. Where is your happy place?
      I’m a homebody by nature, but I gain such peace and clarity by being at the beach.

      beachlove

      5. What is one thing about your home that you and your spouse disagree on?
      Our dog. Hands-down the worst mistake I’ve ever made in my life was getting a dog and my husband and I argue about him, his care, his behavior, his hair, and his actions all the time!! We don’t argue about anything else.

      6. What is your favorite fruit?
      Granny Smith apples.

      7. Bowtie or regular tie?
      I used to work for a complete dick tyrant who wore a bowtie so I’m going with regular.

      8. Mexican or Italian (food, not men)?
      Hardest question ever. Seriously, how is one to choose? Too much good stuff… Penne all’Arrabbiata, bruschetta, cannoli, chianti, salsa, enchiladas, tequila. Moving on.

      9. Where do you want to go on summer vacation?
      Anywhere in Europe, but my desire to return to Paris is growing greater by the day! It’s my husband and my favorite city in the world and we are anxious to take our children, but we want them to love it as much as we do so the timing has to be just right!

      10. What are your go-to shoes in your closet?
      After almost 20 years in SoCal, that’s easy, flip-flops!

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      10 Things To Smile About

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      It’s easy to focus on the negative and not so wonderful things going on in our lives but today I’m choosing to highlight the positive and a few things that make me happy!

      10 Things To Smile About:

      1. Lola started walking!

      2. Hawaii. I went to Maui for five days in February with two of my girlfriends and we saw whales swam with turtles, enjoyed some decadent meals and soaked up the sun.

      6. Summer (it’ll be here before you know it!) camps have been selected and Lucas is registered!

      7. Sister dates. Mine turned 31 on Saturday and we are celebrating tonight.

      8. Fresh flowers. Such a small, inexpensive delight. Lucas helped me pick this bunch of tulips.

      10. These two! They keep me on my toes, challenge me and fill my days with love and joy.

      thesetwo

      What are you smiling about?

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      10 Years Ago

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      This photograph was taken almost 10 years ago in Nabeul, one of Tunis’s major ceramic centers. I was 32 years old.

      April 22, 2005

      April 22, 2005

      Todd and I were visiting my parents, who lived in Tunisia at the time. My father was the elementary principal and my mother taught third grade at the American international school.

      They played great hosts by taking us to see some beautiful places near their home. Looking through the photos from our trip, I am also reminded of our visit to El-Jem, known for it’s ancient Colosseum, sheep blocking roads (no trip to Africa would be complete without it) and our stay at the gorgeous African Jade hotel in Korba. The indoor/outdoor lobby was covered in vines. One of my favorite photos of me and father was taken in that lobby.

      April , 2005

      April 23, 2005

      I also received one of the best massages I’ve ever had at the hotel spa.

      Although our visit was memorable, I left unsettled. My parents seemed unhappy and stressed. They seemed happy that we were there, but preoccupied. The director my father was working for and with at the time was difficult and dropping the ball, leaving him to pick up the pieces. As I recall, it was his last year at the school and things did get better the following year.

      When this photo was taken, Todd and I never thought we would return to Tunis two years later to remove the contents of my parents house or attend a memorial service given in their honor at the school.

      When this photo was taken, Todd and I were two years from getting married and four from becoming parents.

      A lot can happen in a year, but a lifetime can occur in 10 years!

      My parents are no longer with us and my life looks much different today, so much loss and yet so much gain.

      This is me today.

      You can’t see it, but I’m wearing the same necklace I was wearing 10 years ago, a Raphael angel that I cling to in times of worry or unease.

      My children have my father’s eyes.

      IMG_7912

      November 29, 2014

      This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop, Prompt 1. Find a photo of yourself taken 10 years ago and display it on your blog along with a current photo. How have you changed since the day that photo was taken?

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      The City By The Bay: Thanksgiving 2014

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      At least six months ago we started talking about our Thanksgiving plans. Typically we take a big trip. A week long somewhere far from home, somewhere that requires jackets and gloves, hats and boots and reservations for our Thanksgiving meal.

      Lucas spent his first Thanksgiving in Florence, Italy! Two years ago we went to Vancouver.

      Last year we moved the week of Thanksgiving so this year felt like a “make-up” of sorts. We renewed Lucas’s passport, applied for one for Lola and started daydreaming.

      I don’t if we got too busy or couldn’t quite agree on a destination, but we dragged our feet until the week before and then with what felt like out of our budget and limited options we decided to stay local-ish. We drove to San Francsico!

      Todd grew up and went to college in the Bay Area and knows the city well  and I fell in love with San Francisco on my first visit some 18 years ago and it continues to dazzle us both.

      We had no agenda and had the greatest time. Wednesday was my favorite day; we left our hotel at 10:00 AM, headed for Ghirardelli Square. Along the way we stopped to play at two parks, wandered through Chinatown, window shopped, found a darling card and gift store called Lola, where we had to pose for photos, watched Lucas & Lola devour a croissant, found a man and his son catching and releasing Dungeness crabs, gazed at the beautiful Golden Gate Bridge, enjoyed ice cream and took a sunset cable car ride back to our hotel nearly seven hours later.

      IMG_7579

      IMG_7658

      IMG_7672But then again, Thursday was pretty spectacular too! I took Lucas ice skating for the first time at Union Square and he was amazing. My sister-in-law and two nieces, who live in the East Bay joined us. Apprehensive at first myself, as I hadn’t been on skates in a very long time, I was most worried about Lucas. He fell a lot but he was so determined and never once whined or utter the words, “I can’t do it.”. I am so proud of him and he, of course can’t wait to do it again! We both had permagrins for the 90 minutes we were on the ice and as long as we stopped to say hello before circling the rink again, Lola and Daddy enjoyed watching us from the sidelines.
      IMG_7711 IMG_7720
      IMG_7713Friday, we walked half-way across the Golden Gate Bridge, as little legs couldn’t make it the entire (1.7 miles one way) way and there were no parks or croissants along the route. After that, my in-laws, who also live in the East Bay came into the city for lunch and we watched the Christmas decorations go up in our hotel lobby.

      IMG_7796

      IMG_7920There was more exploring, a shopping spree at NikeTown, some not so great restaurant recommendations and I’ll spare you the details and frustrations of our horrific road trip there and home with a certain rear-facing little person who hates being in the car.

      It was wonderful to get away, especially to a favorite city and as a family. I hope you and yours had a lovely holiday too.

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      Seeing Chicago Through A Child’s Eyes

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      It’s been a month since our mother/son trip to Chicago. What an amazing five days! I have always known Lucas was an extraordinary child but this trip proved it ten times over.

      Since his very first airplane ride at only two months old, my son has been a great traveler provided I have his favorite snacks and activities and a full battery on the iPad. This I knew going in to this trip together, but what surprised me was the amount of patience he exhibited as we waited. We spent a lot of time waiting, from a two hour delay at the airport and long lines to enter most attractions to Uber cars and taxis, we waded through throngs of people at the breakfast buffet each morning at our hotel and waited for our names to be called at restaurants, we waited for it to stop raining so we could go back outside and have fun, we waited and waited and waited. I have decided my five-year-old has more patience in his entire body than I do in my big toe.

      momsontriptochicagoLucas also behaved well throughout our trip and when other children around us were falling apart, kicking, screaming and carrying on and getting reprimanded, he kept it together. He also asked pointed questions about our surroundings, wanted to know everything he could about the Great Chicago Fire of 1871 (it wasn’t because a cow knocked over a lantern, by the way) and the meaning behind the different colors that lit up the skyscrapers at night. Lucas also let me take as many photos as I wanted of both him and the sights.

      Chicago is perfect for children and it was a lot of fun seeing my little guy in such a big city. We didn’t walk as much as I would have liked but only because little legs can’t walk very far. We took our time getting from here to there and stopped a lot along the way to shop or eat or meander through a park.

      There is so much to do in Chicago and we tackled a lot! From meeting Sue, the best-preserved T. rex on display at the Field Museum, eating stuffed pizza at the famed Giordano’s, running through the water pads at Millennium Park, taking goofy photos at “the Bean”, enjoying incredible views of the city from the 103rd floor of the Sears Tower (now known as Willis Tower), spending hours at the awesome Children’s Museum at Navy Pier and having a lot of down time in our hotel room. We shopped a little (I kind of went nuts at the Nike store) watched very little TV, and talked a lot, mostly about the upcoming school year and how much we missed home and our precious little Lola.

      momsontriptochicagoLucas may have dragged me to the Lego store at the beautiful Water Tower Place more than once but I’d buy him all the Lego in the world if I could. I’m grateful for the bonding time I had with my son this summer and look forward to taking an annual summer trip with him. 

      Where to next year?

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      Just The Two Of Us

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      I began daydreaming about a mother/son trip when I first saw the Expedia Find Your Storybook advertisement on TV. The one where the mother is reading her son a bedtime story and simultaneously on an awesome adventure with him.

      …where villages floated on water and castles were houses, dragons lurked and giants stood tall and the good queen showed the boy it could all be real.

      And then Lucas and I started butting heads.

      Bad!

      He’s five, so not listening, pushing my buttons and being defiant come with the territory. But I know that there’s more to it than that because when it’s just the two of us, he’s super.

      Lucas has been very patient and understanding of my now divided time between him and his six-month-old sister but he doesn’t quite understand how much his Lola truly needs me right now.

      I get it.

      He misses me and being the center of my attention and this has been demonstrated by him asking more than once, “Can’t we leave Lola at home and go do something, just you and me?”.

      Sigh.

      I miss him too.

      It has been particularly challenging now that it’s summer and he is not in school for a large portion of the day. We play a game of Uno or Connect Four in between diaper changes and bottle feedings. I’m constantly running back in the house to listen for cries while I should be focused on our game of Ring Toss in the backyard.

      We’ve had some awesome mother/son dates, which for some reason are growing increasingly harder to schedule and since it’s summer, I really want to make an impact, leave an impression, do something grand with my son. And yes, put the mommy guilt at bay for a while.

      So, with only two more weeks of vacation, what better time to get away, just the two of us? I’m hoping our mother/son trip becomes an annual tradition. This year we are tackling Chicago and leave Thursday. Lucas and I are both bursting with excitement over getting away and creating our own adventure, one that will include Navy Pier, Millennium Park, The Shedd Aquarium and deep dish pizza all without his little sister.

      The idea of visiting the Windy City came from my desire to go there and all that it offers children. I’ve been to Chicago several times and I’m looking forward to seeing it through the eyes of my son.

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