me time

Desperately Seeking Mary Poppins

Posted on June 29, 2010 Written by Tonya

I am so frustrated with our nanny search that I am ready to pull my hair out!! See photo demonstration at right.

If you haven’t been following along… Up until last week, we had a wonderful young woman named Angel help care for Lucas two days a week for 5 hours each day and less than a month ago, she gave us her notice. (Saddest. Day. Ever.) She and her husband decided to move to Idaho so that he could go back to school. We were/are genuinely happy for her, supportive of her decision and had hoped that she would find us a replacement. She had previously placed nannies as part of her career and we had every confidence in her abilities.

Angel brought us ONE candidate that seemed like the perfect match, but in the end decided to devote more time to the family she is currently with, a widower and his two daughters. We can’t really blame her for that… they need her more than we do.

It was an interesting interview though. It turns out that she recently discovered that she can’t have children and broke down in tears while we were talking. My heart goes out to anyone that is unable to have children of their own and something inside me knew that she would be perfect with Lucas. This outward display of emotion and honest disclosure was refreshing.

Alas, it wasn’t meant to be…

It was shortly there after that Angel decided “it would be best if I hand over nanny search responsibilities to you. I still have a lot of packing to do and want to make sure that I get it done on time.” Um, are you kidding me? With only days until you are leaving, you drop this all on us? Great! Angel, I know you read this and I’m sorry, but that was super crummy and very disappointing.

Okay, never one to back away from a challenge, I immediately signed up for Sittercity.com on the recommendation of several friends and instantly had an In Box full of applications. Girls that clearly can’t read or comprehend the words LONG TERM AVAILABILITY IS A MUST. We don’t want to be in this situation again in three months.

I have had ten phone interviews in four days and two face-to-face interviews and still no one very promising. Here are some highlights for your amusement:

One girl is three months pregnant and wants to bring her baby to our home with her once she delivers.
One girl currently lives in Cleveland! We live in San Diego. She is moving out here, but not until next month.
Many girls are teachers and are waiting with baited breath for a teaching job offer. PLEASE READ THE AD!
Others are students and are looking for summer-only work. AGAIN, READ THE AD!
There has also been a plethora of applications that have been downright illegible, riddled with spelling errors and incoherent sentences. YOU ARE NOT GOING TO GET VERY FAR WITH ME WITHOUT GOOD GRAMMAR!!

Ugh! This is so much harder than I thought. It’s like trying to find a mate, but WAY worse!!

Maybe it’s a sign. Maybe the universe is trying to tell me to suck it up and be a 40 hour a week Stay At Home Mom. Who needs 10 hours of “me time” anyway?

I DO and I shutter at the thought of giving up those 600 minutes up each week. Nanny Gods, please, please, please, send someone fabulous our way!! Thank you.

The best is yet to be.

This post is for the word game, Word Up, Yo! hosted by Natalie (Mommy of a Monster), Kristin (Taming Insanity) and Liz (a belle, a bean and a chicago dog).

If you like words too, you should play along!
This week’s word is plethora.

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Birthday/Update

Posted on June 28, 2010 Written by Tonya

I have been trying to write and post this ALL. DAY. LONG., so forgive me if it just turns into a hodgepodge…

I had a wonderful birthday weekend filled with some of my favorite things: pancakes, a big fat juicy cheeseburger, Berry Happy frozen yogurt, a champagne brunch with good friends, Lucas’ first swim lesson, some great laughs and quality time spent with my little family.
Oh, and a couple of SUPER frustrating phone interviews with (not so) potential nannies. More on that in another post!

I also saw not one, but TWO movies at the theater! What a treat. I LOVE going to see movies at the theater; the giant screen, the dark room and the incredible surround sound. It’s enveloping, albeit expensive. My husband and I saw Get Him to the Greek on Saturday night and I saw Knight and Day with my sister yesterday afternoon. Both are very entertaining, but definitely worth waiting for on DVD.

My husband, who has been working from home (or a nearby coffee shop) for the past
several months (89 days, but who’s counting?) is supposedly moving into his new office this week and I am giving him my old industrial desk for something prettier. Remember this from my post, A Place To Call Her Own?
Guess who reads my blog? What an awesome birthday gift!! It arrived today, in three enormous boxes, which will probably sit in our foyer for a week, but it’s here and it’s mine and I love it. Thanks, P. xoxo

Second best birthday gift? My sister got me tickets to see Lady Gaga in August at Staples Center and I can’t wait for that show!!

I am a lucky lucky girl!

I’m looking forward to what’s in store for me at 38. Whether it’s a growing family, move to a new city, another exciting trip across the Atlantic or even if things remain status quo, hopefully I will gain a greater sense of self and my place in the world as a wife, mother, sister and friend.

No matter what the future holds, I know that the best is yet to be.

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Saddest. Day. Ever.

Posted on June 7, 2010 Written by Tonya

Last week our beloved nanny told us she and her husband will be moving to Idaho at the end of the month. Needless to say, telecommuting won’t work in this particular case.

It was a very sad day in our house.

Before you judge, yes, I have a nanny and I have come to depend, rely and cherish the 10 short hours each week that she is here for me to get a million different things done without my little side kick in tow.

I find a certain salvation in our nanny, along with long walks, work outs, naps, doctor, dentist, hair, and nail appointments, lunches with my husband, friends, sister and even mother-in-law. It is the time that I need for myself to recharge, step out of the mommy role for a little bit and gain a sense of accomplishment. Not that raising my little boy doesn’t already provide that, but I’m not referring to the ‘how many bottles I made’ or ‘tantrums I lived through’ variety.

Sure, we’ll find someone else and luckily Lucas is too young to be that attached to Angel, but I certainly am, I really REALLY like her and I’m going to miss her terribly.

The best is yet to be.

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A Place To Call Her Own

Posted on June 4, 2010 Written by Tonya

It’s official! Every single room in our house has baby stuff in it… Whether it is an entire diaper changing station, mounds of toys, an exersaucer, high chair, pile of blankets, you name it, it’s in there.

With family coming to visit this weekend for someone’s very special one year birthday party, reigning in the clutter has been a top priority around here, but if your home is anything like ours, one project always leads to three more and nothing really gets done.

Sure, we hung a couple of photos, made sure that there were clean sheets on the guest bed and straightened up a little, but home ownership + parenthood = projects. It’s in the handbook and it’s never ending. We’re always trying to clear out old stuff only to make room for new stuff and now there’s all this baby stuff to boot. It’s a vicious cycle, but I’m starting to repeat myself (My Stuff Has Stuff).

Amidst the attempt to organize, I have realized that I would like a space of my own. Just a quiet corner where I can sit and think (and blog!!).

Now, I know if my husband is reading this and he does occasionally, he is thinking, “what the hell is she thinking? Half of the stuff we have is hers and the other half, the baby’s!” And while he may be right, lust after these desks with me for a moment:

Brighton White Vanity/Desk – Crate and Barrel

Bedford Corner Desk Set – Pottery Barn

Bedford Small Desk Set – Pottery Barn

Eames molded plastic side chair/Moda desk and desk organizer – Room & Board

A mommy can dream, can’t she?

Have a wonderful weekend, everyone and may we all have a little space we can call our own.

The best is yet to be.

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I’m Losing It

Posted on June 2, 2010 Written by Tonya

Confession Time!

I hate to say it, but some mornings, I don’t want to do this. Some days, I don’t feel like being someone’s mom.

I know I sound like a terrible person and even worse mother, but I think to myself, I don’t think that I can make one more bottle, change one more diaper or prepare another meal for this kid.

I don’t know if I can sit through an episode of “Play With Me Sesame” or read one more book.

I’m not sure that I can muster the patience needed to listen to the same toys belt out their all too happy songs over and over and over again.

I know that I can’t hear myself say, “no” and “please don’t touch that” One More Time or I’m really going to lose it and God forbid you whine… that is the kiss of death!!

Sometimes I think I would rather check myself into a super fancy hotel, put on a big comfy bathrobe, order room service and LOTS OF WINE and watch movies all day long. C’mon, ladies, please tell me I’m not alone in my thinking, doesn’t that just sound like bliss?

But then…

You do something completely and utterly adorable and look at me with those eyes and I know that I have to put one foot in front of the other and be the best mom I can be because you’re my child and I want to.

The best is yet to be.

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Energizer Bunny

Posted on May 20, 2010 Written by Tonya

“Too much of a good thing is wonderful.” – Mae West

Or is it?

Usually my alone time is spent working out or running errands, but on Tuesday, while I was waiting for my friend Coreen to bring her newborn baby home from a doctor’s appointment so that I could meet her, I had three glorious hours to kill with — get this — nothing specific to do.

So, what’s a girl to do?

I spent them at the second Happiest Place on Earth: South Coast Plaza (an upscale shopping center in Orange County, California).

Three, amazing hours by myself to wander through one of the most beautiful shopping malls on the planet. Did I mention that I was by myself? 🙂

First, I strolled around the bookstore, my usual “go to” me time spot and found several new books to add to my list of books to read that I hope to someday find time for, then I meandered through Pottery Barn and ZGallerie and remembered having a home without baby gates or locked toilets and then I leisurely tried on a pair of pants at Ann Taylor and bought a pair at H&M (along with a couple of things for
Lucas because I can’t seem to leave the house without buying him something!) and then I took myself to lunch at Champagne Bakery. It was a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful morning! It made me feel, dare I say, human again.

I have always relished my “me time”, but now that I’m a mother, it feels like such a forbidden luxury. There really is something to be said for just being on your own with nothing to do. Boredom is so underrated.

Of course, there is a caveat. You see, whenever I have the opportunity to enjoy a little time away, the days that follow are HoRrEnDoUs.

Take, for example yesterday and today… let’s just say, what the H-E-L-L happened to your morning nap and where do you get all your flipping energy, because I’d like some too?!? You have been particularly feisty, irritable (which I keep telling you, as well as myself will happen when you don’t take a nap) and into everything. AGGGGHHHHHH!!! I guess what they say about pay back is true.

Incidentally, I had a delightful visit with Coreen and loved meeting five day old baby Flynn. Bless her little heart, all she did was sleep.

The best is yet to be.

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Time Is Of The Essence

Posted on May 14, 2010 Written by Tonya

Time and I don’t get along much anymore.

There are just not enough hours in the day and I feel as though I am always trying to beat the clock.

My piles and “To Do” list seem to grow instead of diminish.

I have always prided myself at being good at time management and I have always been acutely aware of how much time it takes to do things. Even more so, now that I am a mom.

During any given day, I feel like I have such few short precious windows of opportunity to get anything accomplished in the way of household tasks or personal things. Simple tasks like: brushing my teeth, scarfing down a sandwich, folding laundry, returning a phone call, paying a bill, catching up on bad TiVo, or my favorite, while you nap activity: BLOGGING. Now you know why I’m posting this at almost 1:30 in the morning!

Most of the household chores can obviously wait, but some of the personal items are downright vital to my well being and sanity and I’ll be damned if it’s nearly impossible some days to squeeze it all in when you DON’T nap. All I can say is Holy Frustration… for both of us!

Sure, I can do some things while you are awake, but you are usually right underfoot wanting (and deserving) my undivided attention and if I’m not giving it to you, I feel extremely guilty. It’s a never-ending struggle because once you go down for the night, I’m running around like a chicken with their head cut off doing things, when I really want to be spending time with your dad or relaxing before it all starts up again tomorrow.

I know I’m not the only mom that feels this way, so I’m curious, how do you balance it all? The meals, laundry, phone calls, grocery shopping, planning, organizing, personal time, heck, even relationships? Especially you moms with more than one child? I’m anxious to hear how you keep on good terms with time.

The best is yet to be.

Day 80/100

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You Gotta Have Friends

Posted on May 12, 2010 Written by Tonya

“Friends are the family we choose for ourselves.” – Edna Buchanan

Baby “Sprinkles” are becoming very popular for second, third and subsequent babies, especially with my group of friends. I now have SIX girlfriends pregnant with their number twos. I love the idea of these low key gatherings; there’s not as much pressure or formality as with full blown Showers and the games are kept to a minimum, thank goodness!

Last night we celebrated two of my mother-to-be-again friends with a joint Sprinkle and it was a lot of fun. I hadn’t seen my friends in several weeks so it was good to catch up and reconnect. I miss them when too much time goes by without seeing their faces.

They say that friendships change once you become a mom because priorities shift and family comes first, but I honestly haven’t felt that with my core group of girlfriends. A part from not having as much one-on-one time with them as I used to, they are as encouraging and supportive as always… both the still single and looking for Mr. Right and the fellow new moms.

Sure, I’m closer to some than others, but whenever possible, I try to make time (sans baby) to spend with all of them in a group setting or a cozy lunch for two and stay guneinuely engaged in their lives and what going on in their worlds as I can via Facebook, texts, e-mails and phone calls.

I have learned over the years that friends are as essential to me as breathing.

My friends are my life line to sanity, fun, growth and understanding and provide love and support through good times and bad. We celebrate each others successes and mourn with each other over our losses. I am blessed to have such wonderful, smart, beautiful women in my life and I hope that we always stay close.

The best is yet to be.

Day 78/100

By the way, your eyes aren’t playing tricks on you, I am trying out a larger font size… Whatdaya think?

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Viva Las Vegas

Posted on March 18, 2010 Written by Tonya

March Madness* AKA “The Big Dance” refers to the annual NCAA Division I Men’s Basketball Tournament. This tournament, held late March through early April, is a single-elimination tournament in which 65 teams compete against each other over the course of a three weeks for a shot at a national championship.

During this time, teams will be moving up one tier at a time, working through to the Sweet Sixteen, the Elite Eight, the Final Four and eventually into the finals. This is the season where basketball nuts become completely crazy cheering on their favorite team in the hope for a championship.

March Madness is also one of the reasons for my annual weekend girl’s trip to Las Vegas! What better place to watch college ball, hang out with my friends, enjoy some fine dining, pampering, the pool and do a little gambling, dancing and celebrating? I have been looking forward to landing on this page of my calendar for weeks….

My good friend, Kathryn’s birthday falls right smack dab in the middle of March too, so she is the other reason we go. Although, we try not to let it go to her head, after all, she has earned the nickname Birthdayzilla for a reason! Kat, if you are reading this, you know I love you.

This year will mark my seventh trip, but some have been going for 10 years! I missed out last year because I was pregnant and Vegas is not a whole lot of fun if you can’t drink, plus is hard to escape all the cigarette smoke, so I am really looking forward to this year’s getaway.

This trip will also mark my first TWO nights away from you. So far, I have spent six single nights away from you, but never TWO consecutive nights and I’m a little nervous. I know you are in good hands, that’s not what I’m worried about. I’m worried about me! I am going to miss you so much, but I am going to try to enjoy the time away and be in the moment. I wonder if you’ll even notice that I’m gone?

*The term “March Madness” was coined by Henry V. Porter in 1939. Originally the term was used to refer to the Illinois High School Basketball Tournament. Later the NCAA picked it up after a small legal battle with the Illinois High School Association. March Madness was then used to refer to the collegiate national basketball tournament. This was started in 1939 by National Association of Basketball Coaches and only had eight contending teams at the time.

Bear Down, Arizona!! Oh, wait, they didn’t even make it to the tournament this year (the first time in 25 years!). 🙁

The best is yet to be.

Day 23/100

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Pretty Things

Posted on March 10, 2010 Written by Tonya

Let me preface this by saying that I have spent too much time in the same three rooms of my house the last two days!

With so much blue, boy, cars, trucks, dinosaurs and rough housing in my life these days, a fellow blogger’s recent post, entitled simply Pink inspired the following tribute to girly things, also known as a wonderful daydream:

Crystalline Bubbles Perfume Bottle
Anthropologie

Dawning Lark Bed
Anthropologie

Heart-printed Lounge Pants
The Gap

Floral Note Cards
Papyrus

Madeline Smart Technology™ Make-Up Table
Pottery Barn

Alfresco Bag
Antropologie

Brightly painted toe nails, beautiful bathroom accessories, comfy, yet feminine pyjamas, stationary almost too pretty to write on, delicious bedding, long silky dresses that you make feel gorgeous and just big enough handbags. These are a few of my favorite things.

After “Girl” Has Never Been My Strong Suit, you didn’t think I had it in me, did you? Thank you, Blondie ‘N’ SC for the inspiration.

Time to go shopping!

The best is yet to be.

Day 15/100

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Desperately Seeking Mary Poppins

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