mama kat’s writer’s workshop

Grease Is The Word

Posted on August 12, 2010 Written by Tonya

For my seventh birthday, I asked for and got(!) my very own record player!!

It was sweet.

My father painstakingly went over how to handle a record and place in on the turntable and how to gently set the needle on the vinyl without scratching it.

I was in heaven. I finally had my own a stereo system in MY room all set up on cement blocks and lumbar yard wood, which even today I think would look very cool.

My first record was the Grease soundtrack.

I played those records (it was a double set, remember?) to DEATH. I knew every word to every song and made up dances based on the one single time I had seen the movie in the theater. I was just like every other little girl in 1979.

Only, I had a mother with very bad eyesight.

Remember the album cover? How could you not, it’s iconic! Dreamy greaser Danny, the original good girl good bad Sandy and a pencil.
I remember it as if it happened yesterday…

My mother came into my bedroom, probably without knocking and caught me shoo bop shoo wadda wadda yipitty boom de boom-ing to We Go Together and saw the pencil, jumped to conclusions and then started yelling at me about writing on the album cover and not taking care of the things she and my dad had given me, etc., etc. Once she calmed down we had a good laugh. Well, my dad and I did.

C’mon mom, there are worse things I could do, but deface my precious LP? Never!

The best is yet to be.

I don’t know if it’s allowed, but this is my second post this week for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop – Prompt #4: The craziest reason I ever got in trouble as a child.

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Stay Blue

Posted on August 11, 2010 Written by Tonya

But my deepest and most secret love belongs to the fair-haired and the blue-eyed, the bright children of life, the happy, the charming and the ordinary. – Thomas Mann

All my life I have been complimented on my eye color. Strangers have asked me more than once if my eyes were real. As opposed to what, I’m not sure. They must have thought I was wearing colored contacts. My eyes are blue. Sometimes they are unbelievably blue depending on the color of the sky, my disposition or what I am wearing. I have only met two other people with eyes as blue as mine… my father and my son.

This is one of my favorite photos of me and my dad.

This is one of my favorite photos of Lucas.

I am so grateful that the three of us share this trait.

According to a Boston Globe articlewritten in 2006, blue eyes have become increasingly rare among American children, with only one out of every six or 16.6%, which is 49.8 million out of 300 million (22.4% of white Americans) of the total United States population having blue eyes.

Of course, I realize that Lucas’ eye color can still change at any time. My mother used to say that she was blond haired and blue-eyed until she was five and then magically, mysteriously she turned into a brown-eyed brunette.

Something tells that he’s going to stay blue.

The best is yet to be.

I wrote this post for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop – Prompt #3: The most unbelievable blue eyes you’ve ever seen.

Is This Heaven?

Posted on August 5, 2010 Written by Tonya

If I were so lucky to be placed in time out, and trust me, I deserve one more than anyone I know, it would be at a book store.

Any one will do, but I’d prefer a delicious independent book store, like Warwick’s in La Jolla or Book Soup in Los Angeles. Barnes & Noble or Borders will certainly suffice.

Any amount of time spent in a book store is sure to set me straight, calm me down and breathe new life into my misbehaving cranky self, and if I could spend a few dollars, I’d be an absolute angel upon my return to reality.

Book stores are my heaven on earth.

My head becomes a little lighter and I instantly breathe a lot deeper upon stepping into a book store. It is quiet, safe, peaceful, smells wonderful and it full of one of my favorite things: books.

I love to be surrounded by books.

Books are my friends.

Books are my escape.

Books remind me of my mom and dad and their love of reading and how grateful I am to have it too.

Books make me think, use my imagination and take me to far away places full of interesting characters and complex plots.

Some day I will have a library of my own, but for now I have shelves and shelves and boxes and boxes of books. Some I’ve read and can’t bring myself to part with, some belonged to my father, but most are on my ‘to read’ list. I’m always reading something. Currently it’s Love is a Mix Tape: Love and Loss, One Song at a Time by Rob Sheffield.

Book stores are the perfect place to get lost in. I love wandering from section to section or finding a cozy corner to sit back, relax, soak it all in and read.

I have been a naughty girl, won’t someone PLEASE put me in a time out?!

The best is yet to be.

I wrote this post for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop – Prompt #2: If you were put in “time out”, where would you want to be placed and why?

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My Buried Life

Posted on July 8, 2010 Written by Tonya

Write it down. Written goals have a way of transforming wishes into wants; can’ts into cans; dreams into plans; and plans into reality. Don’t just think it – ink it! – Author Unknown

Several months ago, I posted The Buried Life about a great show on MTV and promised that I would follow it up with my own Buried Life/Bucket List. Thanks to Mama Kat for making it a prompt this week, here it is:

1. Meet Dave Matthews (and just so there is no confusion… I’m talking about THE Dave Matthews from the Dave Matthews Band).
2. Read all of the books on my Goodreads list – as of today there are 536 titles.
3. Build my family tree and learn everything I can about where I come from.
4. Walk my sister down the aisle at her wedding.
5. Make the turkey with all the trimmings for Thanksgiving.
6. Spend a week or longer in Paris… again.
7. Go camping and sleep under the stars.
8. Be in the audience at the Oprah Winfrey show.
9. Learn how to drive a stick shift car.
10. Live to see A grandchild.
11. Take Lucas (and any subsequent children) on a safari in Africa.
12. Visit Tokyo, Japan.
13. Learn to ski.
14. Fly in a blimp.
15. Visit Martha’s Vineyard.
16. Learn how to French braid my own hair.
17. Travel First Class anywhere.
18. Ride a segway.
19. Go blond, if even for just one night.
20. Learn how to tie a tie.
21. Bowl a perfect round…strikes every single frame.
22. Have a photo that I have taken hung in a gallery and perhaps even sold!
23. Walk across the Golden Gate Bridge.
24. Take Lucas (and any subsequent children) to see the Pyramids
25. Sing a solo in front of an audience.
26. Ride the roller coaster at the top of the Stratosphere Hotel in Las Vegas.
27. Visit Cabo San Lucas…again.
28. Bungee jump.
29. Write a heartfelt letter to everyone I love telling them why they are so special to me.
30. Find my husband the PERFECT gift and since he is SO difficult to shop for, this could possibly take the rest of my life.
40. Go vegetarian for 30 days.
41. Give up my phone, computer and TV for a week (yeah, right!)
42. Visit all 50 states (so far, I’ve been to 28).
43. Learn how to apply eye make-up.
44. Get published.
45. Save someone’s life.
46. Attend the Olympic games
47. Sit court side during a Lakers playoff game.
48. Attend a Super Bowl game.
49. Run a marathon.
50. Learn more about wine.
51. Own a family dog.
52. Own a trampoline!
53. Watch a film in French without the subtitles.
54. Watch a film in Spanish without subtitles.
56. Knit something.
57. Run for office, even if it’s just the PTA.
58. Take a cruise.
59. Take a cooking class.
60. Have a re-commitment ceremony with husband.
61. Sell or donate all of my music CDs…. it’s time!
62. Plant something and watch it grow.
63. Establish a family game night.
64. Establish a family mission statement.
65. Call Dr. Laura.
66. Reach at least 100 followers on Letters For Lucas. I’m only 36 away. 🙂
67. Introduce Lucas to my ex-husband and meet his child(ren) too.
68. Milk a cow.
69. Paint a picture and hang it in my living room.
70. Break or set a world record.
71. Find my best friend from 2nd grade on Facebook.
72. Take a helicopter ride over the Grand Canyon.
73. Be a game show contestant…preferably Jeopardy.
74. Walk across the Great Wall of China.
75. Ride a motorcycle.
76. Participate in a community play or music group.
77. Throw a huge party for all of my friends.
78. See an active volcano.
79. Throw a surprise party for someone.
80. Appear on the cover of a magazine.
81. Help others achieve their buried lists a la the show.
82. Spend the night at the zoo.
83. Successfully assemble a piece of furniture.
84. Learn to surf.
85. Fix my front tooth; I chipped it in the 4th grade and want to have it re-bonded.
86. Organize all my photographs.
87. Put together our wedding album
88. Celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary.
89. Have one wall in my house painted bright red.
90. Own a navy blue car.
91. Sell my parents house in Arizona.
92. Have my picture taken in a field of sunflowers.
93. Learn to make the perfect margarita.
94. Drive on the Autobahn
95. See a show on Broadway.
96. Take my 21 year old son out for a beer
97. Rent a convertible for a weekend and drive the entire length of the Pacific Coast Highway.
98. Breathe deeply all the days of my life and know that that’s everything is going to be okay.
99. Thank my lucky stars everyday at how blessed I am.
100. Have a healthy second and possibly third pregnancy.

What do you want to do before you die? For clarity and focus, I highly suggest you think about it, make a list and refer to it often.

The best is yet to be.

I wrote this post for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop – Prompt #5: Write a list of 100 things you want to do before you turn 100. Otherwise known as a “bucket list”.

Miles Of Smiles

Posted on July 1, 2010 Written by Tonya

Sometimes it’s the simplest (and silliest) things make me the happiest. A pretty color of nail polish on my toes, an extended lunch with a good friend, receiving flowers for no reason at all, or a beautiful blue sky without a cloud in sight.

In no particular order, here’s a list of ten other things that always make me smile:

1. Half a dozen times a year, when I’m having a REALLY bad day, I’ll get a McDonald’s Happy Meal and I don’t know if it actually works or not, but I sure do feel better after having one.

2. I discontinued many of my magazine subscriptions once I became a mother, but I held on to In Style and each and every month it arrives in my mailbox, I can’t wait to find the time to devour it.

3. I love playing Scrabble on my iPhone and at any given time have 6-10 games going with various friends, but I also play against the computer and whenever I win, I get a huge sense of satisfaction!

4. I adore reading and wish I had more time for it. I love getting lost in a good book and hate finishing one, but thoroughly enjoy crossing another title off my list. The bookstore is one of my favorite places to pass the time and my book club is an absolute joy to be a part of. I’d rather read than watch TV any day.

5. I love living so close to the ocean and I try to take advantage of it as much as I can. I love taking long walks along the beach most of all and looking out as far as I can see. Nothing can put life more into perspective than when you think about just how small we really are.

6. Music alone can put me in a completely different state of mind and I love it for that. It can make me want to get up and dance, sing my heart out and twirl like a top or sit quietly, relax and remember.

7. Witnessing random acts of kindness make me elated! I enjoy seeing people looking out for one another; holding doors open, smiling when they pass you, or helping carry heavy loads. It restores my faith that humans are good and kind.

8. My husband. He is good, honest, caring supportive, level headed, a terrific father and puts up with all of my shit.

9. The euphoria you experience when done exercising. Physical activity is something I’ve done my whole life and I can’t imagine feeling healthy or happy without it. Don’t get me wrong, I am not jumping for joy to go to the gym, however, I am smiling REALLY BIG when I leave the gym sweaty, tired, triumphant and planning my next meal.

10. My son… I love watching everything he does, but his smile and laughter make me the happiest. Hearing him jabber away in his crib in the morning is a very close second.

The best is yet to be.

I wrote this post for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop – Prompt #3: Write a list of 10 things that are sure to put a smile on your face when you are not happy.

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Time Well Spent

Posted on June 24, 2010 Written by Tonya

We don’t own a piano, but I have always dreamed of having one simply to display dozens of photos across. Instead, we have this beautiful side board that does a pretty nice job.
I couldn’t choose just one photo to write about, so I chose all 15. As I reminisced and went back in time, here is what I thought:

What a goofy grin on my face! I can’t believe my husband not only took that photo just moments after I had completed my first (and only) half marathon, he had it blown up and framed so that I would always remember that pain… and pride.

My perfect wedding.

My husband and his parents – they are my family now too:

I have the best friends a girl could ever hope for:

I’m sad whenever I remember that this is the last photo that I ever got to take with my parents:

My dear, sweet sister, whom I sometimes feel a million miles away from, but always hold very close to my heart. Here we are after our first grueling day on the 3-Day Walk:

The joy and hopefulness in my eyes as I rest my hand on the new life in my belly:

My perfect baby just four weeks old:

My oldest and dearest friend in the world and all of our children together at last:

And then I actually did become inspired enough to write a poem:

They say a picture is worth a thousand words…

What if a thousand pictures were worth just one?
I’d say much easier said than done.

One word that fully encapsulates smiles, fun, tears and laughter,
Hopes, dreams and the happily ever afters?

Would it be: Happiness? Joy? Blessings? Love?
Ah, love, that’s fitting. After all, isn’t it the only word to speak of?

Photographs take us back and remind us of travel and distant places,
Moments with family and friends in possession of warm and familiar faces.

Our snap shots are displayed like treasures,
Out of love, in memory and for pleasure.

We capture, frame, post and share with everyone our two dimensional grins
But mostly, our photos are for our own selfish whims.

Whether they are in color, black-and-white or over exposed,
The images are not always of what is being proposed.

Were we just smiling for the sake of the lens,
Or were we truly satisfied with our lives and friends?

A sense of mystery can lie in each and every one,
“Why was I wearing this or that?”, “Look at my hair!” and “I didn’t know what was about to be done”.

Protect your memories and your photographs as if they were gold,
Something that can never be traded, bought or sold.

And remember, L-O-V-E is what they represent
And just gazing at them is time well spent.

The best is yet to be.

I wrote this post for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop – Prompt #2: Write a poem about a picture.

The Soundtrack Of My Life

Posted on June 10, 2010 Written by Tonya

I love music and it has always been a huge part of my life. I believe everything is better with music. I have over 6000 songs on my iPod and an “Essential” playlist with over 100 of my “favorites”. They are from all different genres, some are fast, some are slow, some have no lyrics at all, they make me want to dance or cry, several remind me of simpler times when I was young and carefree, but all have special meaning to me of a particular time and place in my life and without a doubt every one makes me smile.

When Lucas was almost five months old he accompanied me on a road trip to Arizona and I played the entire playlist for him and shared the significance of each song. He slept though most of it, but I didn’t take it personally. Since then he has heard those songs and many others over and over. I hope he grows up to enjoy music as much as I do.

When I think about The Soundtrack Of My Life, I think about losing my virginity to Prince’s Sign ‘O’ The Times and dancing my first slow dance to Drive by The Cars and the fact that Fade Into You by Mazzy Star was playing when I got into my first car accident, and anytime I hear anything by The Grateful Dead, I will remember my first true love and Morning Dance by Spyro Gyro will always make me miss my dad.

But, there are 10 tunes that I’ll never grow tired of and also represent my life in very big was (in order of their release dates):

1. Different Drum (1970) by Linda Ronstadt And The Stone Poneys

Yes, and I ain’t saying you ain’t pretty
All I’m saying is I’m not ready
For any person place or thing
To try and pull the reins in on me

I have always loved this song and it’s carefree, Miss Independent, you can’t tie me down message. I chose it for three reasons:
1) Ronstadt and I share our beginnings in Tucson, AZ.
2) While attending the University of Arizona I worked at Pier One Imports and actually helped Ms. Ronstadt when she came into the store one day.
3) My mother’s love of folk music – she couldn’t carry a tune to save her life, but I sang along to The Mamas and the Papas, The Carpenters and Carol King growing up.

2. Pictures of You (1989) by The Cure

If only I’d thought of the right words
I could have held on to your heart
If only I’d thought of the right words
I wouldn’t be breaking apart
All my pictures of you

I love 80’s music…Duran Duran, Madonna, Michael Jackson, Culture Club, New Order and of course, The Cure. Gorgeous and haunting lyrics, enough said!

3. How You’ve Grown (1992) by 10,000 Maniacs

“My, how you’ve grown.”
I remember that phrase from my childhood days too.
“Just wait and see.”
I remember those words and how they chided me,
when patient was the hardest thing to be.
Because we can’t make up for the time that we’ve
lost, I must let these memories provide.
No little girl can stop her world to wait for me.

This song always remind me of the almost 12 years between my younger sister and I. I feel as though my parents and I always tried to make her older than she was and then we’d end up getting frustrated with her for being what she was…younger.

4. Waiting in Vain (1995) by Annie Lennox

It’s been three years since I’m knocking on your door
And I still can knock some more
Ooh, boy, ooh, boy, is it crazy? Look, I wanna know now
For I to knock some more

I love the Bob Marley version of this song too, but this one stands out to me more because it’s sung by the incredible Annie Lennox; it just doesn’t get any better!

5. We Danced Anyway (1996) by Deana Carter

Well they say you can’t go back
But baby I don’t believe that
Come along with me, come on and dance with me

I love how country songs tell a story, but this song is just sweet and fun.

6. The Space Between (2001) by The Dave Matthews Band

These fickle fuddled words confuse me
Like will it rain today
We waste the hours with talking, talking
These twisted games we’re playing

We’re strange allies
With warring hearts
What a wild eyed beast you be

The space between
The wicked lies we tell and hope to keep safe from the pain

Anyone who knows me (Natalie!) knows I am CRAZY about Dave Matthews and it is very hard to just pick one song from their discography because I honestly love all of them. This song got a lot of airplay, but for me it’s the unmistakable tongue twisting lyrics and message of hope that keep me coming back for more.

7. Break Me (2001) by Jewel

Feels like being underwater
Now that I’ve let go
And lost control
Water kisses fill my mouth
Water fills my soul

This song stops me in my tracks every time I hear it. I love how vulnerable, fragile and downright raw the lyrics are. It reminds me of me in the beginning of any relationship I have ever had. It takes a lot of guts to put your true self out there, but it has been worth it every time.

8. Someone Like You (2001) Van Morrison

I’ve been all around the world
Marching to the beat of a different
Drum.
But just lately I have
Realized
The best is yet to come

I helped my dad search high and low for this song because he loved it and we finally found it on the soundtrack of the same title. Cheesy movie but a classic song.

9. Starry-Eyed Surprise (2002) by Paul Oakenfold featuring Crazy Town

Once again I found myself with my friends
Dancin’ the night away it’s like the party never ends
Then again we don’t want it to stop cause
Tonight’s the night it goes sweat box, laser beams, flashin’ lights

This is my “power song” for whenever I need that extra boost to go a little bit further on the treadmill. It never fails!

10. The Book of Love (2004) by Peter Gabriel

The book of love is long and boring
And written very long ago
It’s full of flowers and heart-shaped boxes
And things we’re all too young to know

Simple melody and witty lyrics; Peter Gabriel sings with a frailty and poignancy no one else could manage. Beautiful song!

And for good measure:

11. Far Away (2005) by Nickelback

‘Cause I needed, I need to hear you say that I love you (That I love you)
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you (And I forgive you) for being away for far too long

This song occupies a very special place in my heart and I can’t get through it without crying, especially when I hear the line below. It makes me think of my parents who have been gone for far too long and are very much missed every single day.

This was an incredible writing experience and I enjoyed walking down memory lane and really thinking about why I chose each and every one of the songs above. Thank you, Mama Kat for the topic. Incidentally, I made a play list of just these songs and listened to it while I wrote this, reaffirming my selections.

The best is yet to be.

I wrote this post for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop – Prompt #1: Soundtrack of your life – Pick 10 songs that you would have on a soundtrack for your life, pick a line from each that you most identify with and write a short statement of why this song made it.

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Laughter Is The Best Medicine

Posted on June 3, 2010 Written by Tonya

I had so much fun flexing my creative side last week for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop that I thought I’d give it another go. Let’s be honest, I also loved all the feedback! 🙂

This week, I’m tackling Prompt #1: Write about a time when you laughed at an inappropriate time.

From 2002 – 2005 I worked at a small boutique direct mail advertising agency for which I had a love/hate relationship. No other job has taken so much out of me, aside from being a mother.

As soon as I entered the office doors, I immediately fell under the spell and was captivated by the idea of “agency life”, along with the uber chic offices with ultra cool furniture, young, hip, energetic, like-minded staff and overall aura.

I soon learned that agency life wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. It’s very long hours with very little reward and no matter what, the client is always right and if the client wants to see changes to their piece and it’s 6:00 on a Friday evening, you make them and you stayed until they were acceptable. In other words, working here meant zero social life and a lot of fast food.

For the first year and a half, this fast-paced, often chaotic life style was okay by me because I had just gotten divorced, so I was able to pour myself into my job and became a machine. I often worked 10+ hour days, felt like I had finally hot my stride and was excelling professionally, but by my third year, I had grown disenchanted and the shiny offices started to lackluster, not to mention the micromanagement and annoying narcissism that was all around me. At this company, the sales team and their fierce leader ruled the roost and it was starting to get annoying.

I decided life would be better back on the client side, so I put my feelers out there and even had a couple of promising interviews. Low and behold, almost three and a half years to the day after I started, I was laid off along with 24 other employees.

I wasn’t so much shocked that I was being laid off, but in the way in which it happened. All 25 of us were summoned to the conference room and told at the same time. It was like a study in human behavior and what people do upon hearing the words, “Today is your last day here”.

I couldn’t help myself, I started cracking up. Inappropriate? Yes! Justified? Definitely! Maybe it was my nerves, anger, hurt, or the utter ridiculousness of it, but the whole thing seemed hilarious to me. One other girl, thankfully (or not) sitting across from me had the same reaction. We were in stitches and getting nothing but evil glares from the CEO as she, through tears informed us that this was “one of the hardest things she has ever had to do”. What a bunch of BS!

Other people around the table were crying and some just got mad, red in the face and started asking a lot of questions. The room was a mess!

In the end, I am grateful for the time I spent at this company and learned a lot while I was there and even still consider a few of my old co-workers good friends, but I lost a lot of respect for the upper management that day. To say that I think the way they handled the lay off was poor is an understatement. For such a small company (at the time, there were only 100 employees), they should have taken the time to talk to each of us individually.

I was thankful for the severance package and accepted a killer new job exactly four days after the lay off and you better believe it was on the client side!

The best is yet to be.

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Second Chances

Posted on May 26, 2010 Written by Tonya

I am finally doing something that my friend Natalie over at Mommy of a Monster (I Mean Toddler) and Infant Twinshas been encouraging me to do for a while now; enter Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop.

This meme is hosted by Mama’s Losin’ It each week she offers different prompts to chose from and you write about the one you picked, hence tapping into your more creative mommy side. So, here goes nothing!

Prompt #2: If you could do your wedding over again, how would you do it?

I was fortunate enough to have the gift of a wedding re-do and this time with the right groom!

My husband and I have been married for three years this August and like most brides, whenever I think about our wedding day, I feel all warm and happy inside. It was the perfect day.

My second wedding was exactly what I had wanted the first time around: small, intimate and all about the two of us and our love for our closest family and friends.

Since I had been married before and could care less about having another big princess/fairy tale-type shindig with everyone I have ever (or in some cases never) met as guests, we decided to keep it simple, yet elegant.

It was held in our home and we invited 40 guests (27 were in attendance).

You’d think with such a small gathering at home, planning would be a cinch.

Not the case.

All of the typical wedding planning frustrations over menu options, scheduling conflicts, budget constraints and discussions about cake flavors and invitation wording existed, but we had fun planning this amazing party and would both do it again.

We hired our favorite restaurant to cater, help with service, set-up and clean up. We hired a local Spanish guitarist to perform, rented tables, chairs, linens and glassware and asked a friend of a friend to make our cake. Champagne, beer and wine were purchased at Costco and I ordered my dress on Nordstrom.com. I was shocked when it actually fit, which has never happened to me before… EVER! It was the dress I was meant to wear.

One of the sweetest moments was when my sister sang an impromptu solo of “You Are The Sunshine Of My Life” and I love that after the cake was cut, our living room turned into Dance Party U.S.A.!!

Nope, I honestly wouldn’t change a single thing…. Okay, there was the sweaty photographer that we had my mother-in-law ask to leave shortly after dinner was served. To be fair, there just wasn’t enough for him to shoot. We stayed in the same location and he had the same three dozen guests as subjects.

I was pleased with his work and here are three of my favorite moments he captured:

Second changes are pretty rare and I count my lucky stars that I was able to have this one.

The best is yet to be.

Grease Is The Word

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