holidays

One Year Ago

Posted on November 20, 2014 Written by Tonya

It was the week of Thanksgiving.

I was 30 weeks pregnant.

We were surrounded by boxes. So many boxes!

We were beyond grateful to bid farewell to the small apartment we had lived in for nine months.

Our search for a new home had finally come to an end.

A year ago, as we fell into bed exhausted we listened to the sounds we are now accustomed to coming from our house and neighborhood and dreamed of filling cupboards and closets, covering the walls with our favorite art and photographs, furnishing a nursery and making family memories.

My belly was big and round and my back ached but I was happy. I was anxious to be settled, decorate for the holidays and mail our Christmas cards, which included our new address.

I can’t believe we have been in this house for a year. It seems so much smaller now and there are things we still want to (and need to) do. I guess that happens once you grow comfortable in your space.

In many ways our lives are the same as they were a year ago, but in the best ways, they have changed.

Yes, we really do have a white picket fence.

Close

Posted on July 2, 2014 Written by Tonya

I love my neighborhood; it’s quiet, safe, close to the freeway, airport, my husband’s work, Lucas’s school, numerous parks, the kid’s pediatrician, a library and countless other things we love to do. But my favorite thing about my neighborhood is that our house is only 1.50 miles from a major street that I can walk to with Lola in tow and complete errands!

Monday, I went to the bank, met a friend for lunch, bought Lola some teething tablets at Sprouts (a natural food store), Sharpies at Staples and Fourth of July goodies. Oh, and I got my Starbucks fix.

I love it when things are close.

What do you love most about where you live?

I don’t know if anyone does Wordless Wednesdays anymore, but this is my offering this week.

My Mama

Posted on May 10, 2014 Written by Tonya

As I open the box, I recognize the musty scent immediately. It is full of old family photographs, some with faint pen markings on the back.

Dates and locations:

Birthday ’75

Easter 1977 – Park Mall, Tucson

Summer ’94

Many are left blank so it’s a guessing game for me.

I’m on a mission although I don’t quite know what it is yet.

Like my memories, the images have started to yellow over time.

Stack after stack, I begin to make piles.

Photos of my mother.

Photos of me and my mother.

There are not many of either.

I keep telling myself that it was a different time, the early 1970’s. Cameras were expensive. Having photos developed was expensive. There was no selfie, let alone smart phones with cameras built in.

Still it makes me sad. I wish there were more photographs of me with my mother, especially as a baby. I also wish I hadn’t been such a ~~shit~~ teenager whenever dad pulled out the camera.

This Mother’s Day will be my seventh without my mom and fifth as a mother myself. The holidays and milestones are always the hardest. It’s bittersweet leading up to the actual day as thoughts of my mother and our relationship consume me.

I miss her.

I encourage you to spend the day with the mothers in your life and make mental and physical memories. Someday your children will want to reminisce and look at old pictures of you and them together.

Happy Mother’s Day to all moms, grandmas, great grandmas, step moms, foster moms, mothers to be, those longing to be mothers and those who have lost their moms.

But especially my mom.

Complete

Posted on May 5, 2014 Written by Tonya

Flowers have started to bloom in the front yard and the trees have grown in the back.

We know which rooms get the most sunlight during the hottest part of the day.

The furniture in the living room has been rearranged for better flow. Twice.

Our belongings fill every cupboard and closet.

In the middle of the night the sounds aren’t so foreign.

We’ve met our neighbors, mailman and trash collectors.

We’ve learned the quickest route to the freeway and have a favorite restaurant within walking distance.

We are settling in.

Our new house isn’t so new anymore.

We have been here since mid-November and at the time, it was all about getting ready for Thanksgiving and then rushing to put up Christmas decorations and host the holiday (which sounds way more dramatic than it was… It was just my in laws, sister and her boyfriend for a couple of days) and then we were eager to take down decorations and focus wait for the baby.

Lola arrived the end of January and our house suddenly felt more like a home.

My husband put her crib together last weekend and her room is slowly starting to come together.

But it was only once we started putting pictures up on the walls recently that we started to feel more comfortable, like this was home, the right purchase for our family and a place where we could stay a while and make beautiful memories.

It’s a lovely process, making a house a home and truly feeling like your house is home.

Or maybe I’m just starting to feel more complete than I have in a long while.

Side By Side

Posted on April 22, 2014 Written by Tonya

Lola met her cousins, my husband’s sister’s children over the Easter weekend and although parents are told not to compare their children with each other, it’s just too fun not to! Especially when it’s a photo comparison.

On the left is Lucas in September, 2009, he was 3 months, 3 days old and on the right is Lola on Sunday at 2 months, 21 days. Almost two weeks apart in age.

Incidentally, Annabelle on the left was 8 and Francesca was 6. I have loved watching them grow up too. I have known Annabelle since she was 2 and Francesca her whole life. They are wonderful with my children.

Too enamored with Francesca, Lola would have nothing to do with the camera and of course, I had to get a shot with Lucas too.

Since she was born I have thought Lucas and Lola look a lot alike with Lola being a daintier more feminine version of Lucas. What do you think?

A Delightful Find

Posted on April 16, 2014 Written by Tonya

My mother was an elementary school teacher which is probably why she was so crafty, but not just crafty, she was creative. Although long before she was a teacher she made things.

She could wrap the most beautiful and unique looking presents with ribbons and bows and freehand draw anything.

I recall a spider ornament made out of pipe cleaners that she designed and mass produced for several school Christmas bazaars. I never got the spider/Christmas connection, but it was a huge hit.

When I was little, my mom handmade a lot of my clothes, all of my Halloween costumes and before you ask, yes, there were several mother/daughter ensembles. She made clothes for my dolls and even Barbies. I can’t even imagine sewing anything that tiny. I would spend hours in fabric stores with her looking through giant books of sewing patterns and fingering cloth for weight, texture and durability. Thirty years ago, patterns were $1.25 or less so I’m sure what was an enjoyable hobby was also a cost effective way to clothe her family.

I remember being fascinated by her sewing basket. It was filled with straight pins, scissors, the regular kind in various sizes and pinking shears, which I loved but was forbidden to touch. There were also needle packets, measuring tape, chalk, seam rippers, thimbles, buttons and spools and spools of colorful thread.

Does anyone sew anymore? Like with a needle and thread or a sewing machine? My grandmother had an entire room in her house devoted to sewing, crocheting, etc. I can barely replace a button and if I craft with Lucas, I have to follow directions provided by someone else. Apparently, I did not inherit the crafty gene and I do not own a sewing box.

My mother also dappled in ceramics, or rather used a mold and painted mugs, (see my past post Ceramic Mugs) knick knacks and because she loved decorating her home like her classroom, holiday items; including these decorative Easter eggs I found in my Easter stash.

I had forgotten all about them.

The eggs are rudimentary but whimsical and fun and I’m thrilled to have them.

Finding items like these amidst my own, items that were once my mothers, especially things that she made make me maudlin and miss her terribly.

Show & Tell

Posted on February 24, 2014 Written by Tonya

After having Lola I couldn’t drive for two weeks and while being chauffeured around was nice, there’s nothing like the freedom of being behind the wheel of your own car.

The first place I drove to was my OB/Gyn’s office for an incision check and then the grocery store, because of course…

The next day I took Lucas to school.

It was a very special day.

Not only was it Valentine’s day, but it would be the first day Lucas could introduce his little sister to his classmates and he was very excited. On the way there Lucas, who is still getting used to the fact that Lola now goes with us everywhere asked if we could bring her in so that he could “show her off”.

Lucas attends a small Montessori school and we know all the staff so everyone knew we had had the baby and was anxious to meet her.

As soon we entered Lucas’s classroom, circle time was already underway and silly me thought I could slip in and slip out without interrupting, but his teacher promptly stopped what she was saying and gestured to me to come to the front of the classroom, where she placed a tiny chair at the feet of 22 eager children and made us that day’s show and tell.

Let me just say kids are awesome, but four and five year olds are particularly cool. They leave no stone unturned and hold nothing back. While Lucas beamed with pride from his spot in the circle, I tried my best to introduce his sister, praise him for being a good big brother and address these curious minds:

“Why is she wrapped in a towel?”

“Where is her hair?”

“Does she have arms and legs?”

“Why is she sleeping?”

“When I grow up, I’m going to have a baby too. Well, my wife is. How do you get a baby.” [I ignored this last part.]

“My baby sister poops a lot, does she poop a lot?”

“When she talks, does she say ‘go go ga ga’?”

Lucas and Lola – Valentine’s Day 2014

Now when Lola and I drop off or pick up Lucas we are kind of old news. Kind of… babies tend to draw a lot of attention no matter where you go.

How I Beat The Post-Holiday Blues

Posted on December 28, 2013 Written by Tonya

Our first Christmas in our new house was a memorable one and the 75+ degree temperatures have been weird and wonderful. I loved having my in-laws, sister and her boyfriend staying with us and still can’t believe all of my recipes turned out exactly the way they were suppose to. I think spent more time in the kitchen over the last week than I have all year (more on this in another post)! And nothing can compare to a child’s excitement over Santa’s arrival. Lucas was a ball of energy all week!

But now it’s over.

Just like that.

For me the worst part of Christmas is the aftermath: the tree has been taken down, most of the gifts have either been exchanged, returned for the correct size or put away, the last of the pie has been eaten, family and friends have gone home, the mailbox is no longer bursting with greetings and thank you cards have been started.

It’s sad.

So much excitement and anticipation goes into prepping for the holidays and then all at once, it’s over and the warm fuzzy feelings disappear.

Here are some ways I like to combat the post-holiday blues:

Create a scrapbook or fun collage to commemorate holiday memories.

Begin (or in my case, resume) an exercise program. I went for a walk this morning and it was mind clearing and felt great.

Daydream about summer and our next family vacation. We’re thinking Mexico and yes, with a new baby!

Do something productive… as if I haven’t been productive the last few months, making a baby and moving, etc., but I spent some time getting Lucas signed up for swim lessons, soccer and researched karate classes. I also packed a bag for the hospital and renewed my domain name. All of these tasks have been on my To Do list for weeks and I’m glad to have them behind me.

Treat myself. Like me, chances are you have been cooking and baking for family and friends and buying for others, so now is the time to schedule a massage or hair appointment, or some quiet time alone to curl up with a good book (or my brand new Kindle Paperwhite!!).

I know I’m not the only one that feels this way, so I reached out to a friend and we had a great phone call recapping the last few days and planning for the upcoming weeks.

How do you avoid the post holiday blues?

Whatever you do to get through this time, know that these feelings will soon pass and more good times are in store!

Stamp Collecting

Posted on December 20, 2013 Written by Tonya

I can picture him now, plain white undershirt and khaki pants, cross legged on the carpet in front of the TV in our living room. Sometimes there would a card table set up and he’d be sitting in a metal folding chair. Either way it always looked completely uncomfortable to me, but I knew this was how he relaxed. He was in his happy place studying stamps, organizing stamps, categorizing stamps. He’d spend hours “playing with his stamps, as we would affectionately call his favorite activity.

There would be a magnifying glass in one hand and a pair of tweezers in the other. Occasionally he would call me over and say, “you have to see this, isn’t it beautiful?” I’d roll my eyes and nod in agreement, “sure is Dad.”

My father had dozens of binders of stamps he had collected from all over the world. They filled the entire closet in his study. He acquired them in all different ways; personally living or visiting the countries of origin, giving money to friends he knew would be somewhere he hadn’t with a request and even ripping them right off envelopes from letters anyone in our family received.

He was a member of several philatelic clubs and his specialty was collecting stamp on stamps, a stamp depicting a stamp.

As one of the world’s most popular hobbies, I never really understood stamp collecting but I certainly can now appreciate how lovely they can be and I’m so happy my dad had this activity.

My sister and I sold the majority of his collection when he and our mother died. Although he had it insured for several thousands of dollars, it wasn’t worth very much. We kept all of his US postage stamps and I haven’t had to purchase a stamp in the last six years because he had that many!

If you received a holiday card from us then you also received a couple of stamps that my dad collected. I always enjoy flipping through the historic figures, trains, planes, automobiles, endangered species, sports, Olympics, Americana, pop culture, Disney, music legends, athletes, cartoon characters, world events, PSAs, celebrities, tiny insects, gargantuan dinosaurs, shaped stamps, unusual rarities, new stamps, old stamps and everything in between! There’s always a twinge of guilt and I wonder how he’d feel about my actually using them.

My only wish now is knowing how his passion for stamp collecting evolved. I suppose his love of history and curious nature played a large part. I’d think he’d want us to use them and I know he’d love that I am saving some that just seem more special than others for Lucas. Maybe he’ll take after his grandfather…

Old School Blogging: The Holiday Edition

Posted on December 18, 2013 Written by Tonya

Today I am linking up with Elaine of The Miss Elaine-ous Life and Kir of The Kir Corner for this month’s Old School Blogging: The Holiday Edition! If you’re not familiar with Old School Blogging, it’s where bloggers revive blogging memes that went around years ago.

Do you Celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, or both?

Ho Ho Ho!! Does this answer the question? (:

Peppermint or Chocolate?

Chocolate. Always chocolate.

Sing us into the Holiday Season. What is your favorite carol this time of year?

I have a play list of over nine hours of holiday music! For me it’s not Christmastime until I hear Wham’s Last Christmas or Paul McCartney’s Wonderful Christmastime, but I adore the lyrics to Grown Up Christmas List:

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
And everyone would have a friend,
Right would always win,
Love would never end.
This is my grown up Christmas list

– David Foster (music), Linda Thompson-Jenner and Amy Grant (lyrics)

Tell us about a favorite family or personal holiday tradition.

One of my favorite family holiday traditions on Christmas Day was after all the presents were opened and prominently displayed in front of the tree (another tradition), we would go to a movie. Many big blockbusters open on Christmas Day and we always had fun trying to agree on which one to see. After the movie we would come home and make leftover turkey sandwiches and each have a slice (or two) of pie. Chocolate pudding for me, pumpkin for my dad, and pecan for my mom and sister. It’s hard to believe that this will be my sixth Christmas without my parents, but my sister and I have kept up this tradition.

Come on, you remember your favorite Christmas gift. Tell us all about it.

In November 2007, a month after my parents died, my husband, sister and I traveled to Tunisia to visit the school, ACST (American Cooperative School of Tunis), where they worked. We wanted to spend time where they last had, visit with their colleagues and gain some peace and understanding. It was also important to me to be the ones that cleared out their home.

It was a difficult trip to say the least, but necessary for our grieving process. We were met with much understanding and support and much of the time we were not only being consoled but were consoling.

In a very touching ceremony, the school planted two olive trees in a common area on campus and dedicated one to each of my parents while we were in town.

That year for Christmas my husband had an olive tree planted for me in our side yard.

I love this tree and will always appreciate the kind gesture that my husband made in finding and having it planted at our home. It will forever remind me of our trip to Tunis, the two trees that grow and bloom there in memory of my parents and of course, my parents themselves.

This poor tree has been uprooted and been living in a box for almost two years. This week it was planted in the front yard at our new house where it will hopefully grow and flourish.

December 16, 2013

That magical moment: your favorite scene from a holiday movie.

It’s A Wonderful Life is my favorite holiday movie and I love when Clarence tells George: “You see George, you really had a wonderful life.” Ah… gets me every time.

Kissing under the mistletoe. Who do you hope is standing underneath (we know it’s normally your spouse, but if it did not have to be, who would you choose)?

Ryan Gosling.

Duh.

Swans a swimming, lords a leaping, golden rings: which gift of the 12 days of Christmas would you like most?

None! Unless those maids do more than milking.

Play Secret Santa. What inappropriate gift would you love to give this year?

Hmmm… I’m going to have to give this some thought but Ryan Gosling and a big red bow come to mind. Just off the top pf my head.

Martha Stewart or the Grinch? What is your decorating style?

I wish I could say Martha Stewart, but I really fall somewhere in between. Someday I want to splurge and have lights professionally installed on the front of our house. I looked into it this year, but was shocked at how utterly ridiculously expensive it is. I like to get our tree up early and I have a motley crew of Christmas guys (stuffed animals) displayed around the house and holiday towels for the guest bathroom. I am grateful that we haven’t started the Elf on the Shelf madness yet!

What is ONE WORD that defines the holiday season for you?

Believe!

If Santa could assure its delivery, what’s the first thing on your holiday wish LIST?

The safe delivery of a healthy baby girl, born anytime after January 1, 2014!

If you want to play along or read other Old School Blogging: Holiday Edition lists, visit The Miss Elaine-ous Life or The Kir Corner and then compile your own! Don’t forget to tweet it out using the hashtag #OSBlog. Happy Christmas, everyone!

One Year Ago

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