Letters For Lucas

Wonders, Mishaps, Blunders and Joy.. commentary on my life as a mom in the form of letters to my son

Social Butterfly

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We were suppose to do a group activity today with our Mommy & Me group, but I just wasn’t up for that yet, so instead we went to the park. It was your first visit and to say you loved it would be an understatement. Between watching the other children play and the dogs chasing balls and the nearby train zooming by, you were in heaven. There was so much for you to look at.

You were also thoroughly tickled over the swings!


Even though I thought I was sort of “hiding out” with you today, we had our first Doc Band inquiry as well. A little girl wearing a T-shirt that appropriately said “Social Butterfly” came right up to us at the park and asked me point blank, “Why is he wearing that helmet?” to which I replied after taking a deep breath, “The back of his his head is a little too flat so the helmet is going to help make it perfectly round like yours.”. Easy enough.

She stood there for a moment and then said, “Well, he’s not crying, so it must not be hurting him.” and then fluttered off.

Good point.

The best is yet to be.

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Baby Proofing Season

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It is only a matter of days before you start crawling and as I look around our home, there is a lot to be done to make it a safe zone for you. Lucky for us, you have your very own helmet to protect your head for the next few months!

I have read dozens of articles on baby proofing that include outlet covers, gates, and cabinet and toilet locks, but it’s the not-so-obvious things like; blind cords, carpets without nonskid backings and loose tiles that have me worried. For all you seasoned moms out there, what else should we be considering?

Looks like I’ll be crawling around on my hands and knees this weekend trying to discover other potential Lucas hazards and then we’ll be calling in the professionals.

Shocking facts about child safety:

  • Each year in the Untied States, approximately 6,000 children die, and another 120,000 are seriously injured or permanently disabled due to preventable household accidents.
  • Every day, almost 39,000 children sustain injuries serious enough to require medical attention, totaling more than 14 million children each year.
  • Children are 7 times more likely to die from a preventable household accident than from all childhood illnesses combined.
  • Each year, more than 2.5 million children are treated in emergency rooms for fall-related injuries.
  • The number one cases of death among infants and toddlers are preventable household accidents.

This household will NOT be a statistic!

The best is yet to be.

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You Should See The Other Guy

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Lucas got his DOC Band on Wednesday, which makes today, Day 3 of him wearing it.

So far, so good…. He has very quickly adjusted to it and doesn’t even seem to notice that it is on. Aren’t children amazing?

He is doing a lot better with it than I am. I just keep reminding myself that he is same baby with or without the band and there is no need to treat him any differently. I am so thankful for all of the support I have around me and for having such a happy and otherwise healthy baby.

Here is the first photo taken of him wearing it.


The best is yet to be.

Day 3/100

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Whale Watching

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You were measured for the Doc Band today and it was hands down the hardest thing I have had to witness you experience to date. Yes, even worse than the catheter you had to get when we were having your kidneys checked out.

A gauze mask called a stockinette was fitted over your entire head and face and you were placed on a metal perch and photographs were taken of your head from every angle. Technically, this process is called Digital Surface Imaging and it uses 15 high-resolution cameras to capture a 360-degree image.

You screamed bloody murder as a loud cartoon played in front of you and one clinician held your arms close to your sides and another waved a brightly colored wand above your head. You were scared and had no idea what was happening to you and there was not a thing I could do about it. I couldn’t talk to you or touch you, for fear of you moving, so I just sat in the back of the room and sobbed.

Your custom fit Doc Band will arrive in two weeks.

On the lighter note, today we also went for a great walk on our beautiful beach with our Mommy & Me friends, Jenn and her son Tristan. We saw a whale! It was gorgeous day.

The best is yet to be.

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Thank You, Friends

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“A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.” – Bernanrd Meltzer

Watching the Grammys was a lot of fun last night and a great escape. It allowed me to clear my head a little and relax. In other words, it took my mind off of Cranial Technologies, the DOC Band, my son’s imperfect head, what other people think and the tough decisions that come with parenthood.

It also helped to discuss my dilemma/guilt/frustrations/sadness/shame with my friends today. Just talking about it made it real, easier to comfort and put it all into perspective. Where would I be without my friends?! Each and every one (four in all) I spoke to made me feel better about our situation and more important didn’t make me feel shallow or crazy. I’m not surprised, that’s the beauty of friends, isn’t it? 🙂 They lift us up when we are feeling down, share our heavy loads, make us take a good long look at ourselves when we most need to, and above all, love and care for us unconditionally. I am blessed to have such amazing women and all fellow mothers in my my corner and in my life.

I also sincerely appreciate the comments from my faithful blog readers to Saturday’s post.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

The best is yet to be.

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Shaping Your Future

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Lucas has been diagnosed with in utero left sided plagiocephaly (significant flattening and asymmetry of the back of the head and face and ear misalignment) and we have been seeing a physical therapist for his torticollis (a condition in which the head is tilted toward one side, and the chin is elevated and turned toward the opposite side) for three months.

The good news is that plagiocephaly and torticollis are not life threatening and are easily treated.

Yesterday, we were told Lucas is a candidate for the DOC Band, a lightweight 6-oz helmet, that works by applying mild holding pressure and redirecting growth to less prominent areas. The band must be worn for 23 hours a day, only removing for bathing and dressing for up to four months.

The use of DOC Band is NOT a cosmetic fix, it is a restorative fix designed to bring the infant’s head back to its normal head shape and balance the asymmetry.

I am devastated.

I don’t want my baby to wear this device.

I think my son is perfect exactly the way he is.

I don’t want strangers to stare at him in the band. I don’t want to hear their comments or questions and I certainly do not want to respond to them.

I am angry that my OBGYN and ultrasound technicians didn’t see in the umpteen ultrasounds I had done that my baby was crunched up in my womb. We could have possibly repositioned him.

I am vain.

I am also a mother who wants the very best for my child. A misshapen head can lead to vision problems, ear infections, headaches and speech disorders. Not to mention the psychological impact of society’s often cruel view of deformity.

This is going to be a difficult four months for me, but Lucas will never remember it and in the long run will probably thank us for making this decision.

The best is yet to be and you’re welcome, my love.

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