change

In Denial

Posted on November 18, 2009 Written by Tonya

I’m in denial. Although our pediatrician told me not to start feeding you solid food until you were six months old, I think you might be ready now. I read in my baby development books over the weekend that babies can start solids between four and six months, which is exactly where we’re at. There are other signs too, such as: the fact that you can hold up your head, you have outgrown the tongue-thrust reflex and you show great interest in what’s on my plate.

I also read that a five month old should be introduced to the sippy cup! I’m freaking out. I am not ready for you to be drinking out of a cup, let alone eat real food. We don’t even have a high chair yet!

Choosing the perfect high chair aside, there are other decisions to make and things to consider when starting solids, like; should I be making my own baby food and how exactly does one do that or if I don’t, which store brand is best? How do I know when it is safe to move on to a new menu item? What if you are allergic to something? Does solid food mean solid poops, and don’t get me started on the messes and dishes that come with it all or the logistics of traveling with baby food. Ugh!

I am excited for you to eat, I really am, but honestly a part of me wishes that you could just stay five months old and that I could feed you from a bottle forever. I know that is more than slightly unrealistic and as your dad said, we need to relish these changes and your growth. He’s right and I suppose I could try, but I’m going to need to take baby steps. Two days ago, I bought a box of organic baby cereal and it is still sitting unopened on our kitchen counter…stay tuned.

The best is yet to be.

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Five Months Old

Posted on November 6, 2009 Written by Tonya

Today you are five months old, which also translates to 152 days or roughly 3680 hours. We have been keeping track. Since just seconds after you were born, your dad started the stop watch feature on his iPhone and it has been counting the minutes of your life ever since.

You are growing and changing every day and starting to become your own person. Here are some of this month’s highlights:

You can almost roll over and sit up on your own.
Your first two teeth are visible…pizza, here we come!
You definitely recognize your bottle, can hold it by yourself and it won’t be long before you are strong enough to feed yourself with it.
You still hate the car seat, or anything that restrains you.
You “talk” and “sing” to us all the time and one could swear you are trying to hold a conversation with us.
You are able to play on your own for several minutes at a time.
You have slept through the entire night just one time, but waking up just once…or twice.
You visited your first state (Arizona) by going on your first round trip road trip to get there and you were a trouper, but I felt very guilty for putting you through that.
You are a great yoga partner at our weekly Mommy & Me yoga class.
You are still super in loud restaurants and with new people, in fact you seem to love chaos and noise, but also really appreciate our one-on-one quiet time together.
You had your first sleep over at your friend Jackson’s house (whose mommy is a good friend of mine, so I was there too).
Your hair has started to grow back and it’s either brown or blond depending on how the sun hits it.
You love to play with your feet, although I think you are only aware of your right one so far. 🙂
You are finally enjoying playing in your exersaucer (in small doses).
At least once a week, you accompany your dad to Pannikin Coffee & Tea so I can sleep in. It is your special time together.
You have met three of your great aunts and one great uncle.
Since you born, I have pushed you almost 240 miles in your BOB stroller on our daily walks.
You celebrated your first Halloween as an adorable little monkey.
Your eyes are still blue. 🙂

You have changed my entire world and I fall more in love with you every day. I can’t wait to see what the next month has in store for us.

The best is yet to be.

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My, How Times Have Changed

Posted on October 22, 2009 Written by Tonya

When I was pregnant, I knew 18 other expecting mothers. All were long time friends or women I had worked with, 90% were expecting baby boys and there were two sets of twins. It seemed like every time I shared our good news, they were sharing theirs right back. Lucky me, a network of mommies!

The ones who already had a baby were eager to reminisce about what it was like, and the ones who were pregnant loved tossing symptoms, decorating ideas and information on the latest diaper bag, bassinet and everything else there is for baby back and forth. The ones who weren’t pregnant asked a lot of questions because they would be there soon themselves.

Fast forward a few months and I can’t believe that all but one of those babies has been born and that most of my friends and I all have children and in two cases 🙂 are already working on baby number two!

Lucas and I had a mommy and me play date today with three of my closest friends and their children and as I sat on the floor wiping up his spit for the umpteenth time, I couldn’t help but think, my, how times have changed. Everything from our appearances to our conversations. We have been mom-ified! Now, it’s all about our children; their needs, diaper changes, naps and feedings…as well it should be.

I am thankful that my friends and I can still together, even if we have to eat our lunch in shifts, care for each others children while one of us uses the ladies room and have our chit chat broken up by our babies fussing. I know somewhere in there remains some version of our old selves. At least, I hope so.

The best is yet to be and here’s hoping there are many more play dates in our future.

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My Empathy Meter

Posted on October 17, 2009 Written by Tonya

Recently I wrote about how my thinking has changed about certain things now that I have a baby (A New Way Of Thinking, October 11) and I can’t believe I left out my heightened level of sensitivity. Maybe my hormones are still out of whack, but I am more sensitive than ever!

For as tough as my exterior is, I have always had a mushy center, a great deal of empathy for my fellow man and can be brought to tears easier than I care to admit. So while I was sensitive before becoming a mother, tearing up at every single episode of Grey’s Anatomy and Hallmark commercials, now I am a bumbling fool for just about anything and everything…especially when it comes to children. My empathy meter is definitely on overdrive.

I almost couldn’t handle last week’s Oprah featuring the recently found Jaycee Dugard, 18 years after she was abducted and the hundreds of still missing children whose parents hold on to the hope that they too will be found. My heart aches for these families and it goes without saying that I would go absolute ballistic if you were taken from me.

I didn’t realize that having a baby meant I became, suddenly, a member of the entire society of parents and that to some extent, all the children of the world would become my children and that I would bleed, a little, whenever anything happened to any child anywhere.

The best is yet to be and I’ll cry if I want to.

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A New Way Of Thinking

Posted on October 12, 2009 Written by Tonya

Everything changes when you have a baby. Loss of freedom and lack of sleep aside, your whole way of thinking shifts when you have a baby. Your senses are all heightened and it really is the strangest and most wonderful thing.

Aside from the typical new parent worries: are you getting enough to eat, are you warm enough, are you safe and are you breathing; here are just a few of the NUMEROUS mindset changes that have taken place for me.

Since I became a parent I feel like I am now a member of an exclusive club. I have a new sense of camaraderie that I never felt before with my fellow man, and in particular with my fellow moms. Now, whenever I pass one at the grocery store or mall, we nod and smile at one another as if to say, “I get it” or, “Hang in there”. It’s very comforting.

I find that people in general are kinder and more helpful to me now that I am a mother. They not only hold open doors, but actually strike up conversations AKA compliment you like crazy. I suppose everyone likes cute adorable quiet smiling babies. I can’t go anywhere without complete strangers asking me how old you are or commenting on your blue blue eyes.

I am way more cautious about everything that I do now; from driving to eating. Your father and I both owe it to you to stay safe and healthy and to do so by setting good examples for you. I find myself thinking twice about what I put into my body and about the products we purchase for our home. I am reading labels more and making a more concerted effort to be eco-friendly. You will inherit this earth and it is all of our responsibilities to take the very best care of it that we can.

There’s also more trivial changes like, the “How do I get to the top floor with a stroller?” strategies that takes place that I never gave a second thought to before our stroller became an everyday accessory. Come to find out, not every store, restaurant or neighborhood with sidewalks is stroller-friendly and in many places, if it weren’t for federal handicap access laws, we’d be screwed! Can you imagine? I never used to take elevators, ever and now I find myself constantly seeking them out.

I shop totally differently now too. Instead of heading straight to the handbags or shoes, I go to the baby department in search of the next size of clothing for you. It isn’t about me or my wants anymore.

I know over time I will be able to add to this list, but for now I look forward to the further shift in my thoughts and priorities.

The best is yet to be.

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Happy Anticipation

Posted on October 8, 2009 Written by Tonya

Life can change so quickly and most of the time without any warning.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008 was a life changing day for me. One year ago today, I found out that I was pregnant with you! What an amazing moment in my life.

It wasn’t as though we hadn’t been trying to conceive, we just weren’t trying very hard, in other words, we weren’t taking my temperature or marking off days on a calendar.

I was elated when I saw the digital word “PREGNANT” pop up on the EPT stick…twice! I started crying. I was so happy, in quite a bit of shock and then I became very worried. I had just returned from a wine tasting (read: drinking) weekend and before that your dad and I were on vacation for a week, which involved many, many pool side beers. Don’t worry, all was well…the doctor told me that your tiny baby organs wouldn’t start to develop until the week after I found about you and by then all my alcohol consumption had ceased.

It was all so overwhelming, to say the least, but also very excited and couldn’t wait to share the good news with with your dad-to-be. I will never forget pulling the EPT out of my purse and sliding it across the table at dinner that night and him asking me if it was still wet! Silly Daddy.

I had no idea what I was in store for with the eight months that lay ahead but luckily, I had the BEST pregnancy with NONE of the typical symptoms. No morning sickness, off the wall food cravings or aversions, no heartburn, constipation, bloating or swollen feet. I maintained a high energy level throughout the entire nine months and walked a total of 479.09 miles (yes, I kept track!). Only towards the very tail end (week 37) did I start to grow increasingly uncomfortable…like you had run out of room. I was having a hard time sleeping and being on my feet for long periods of time and my back hurt a lot, but other than the end, the rest was great.

Your dad and I enjoyed every minute of reading What To Expect When You’re Expecting out loud to each other in bed late at night, the monthly bump photos (especially the ultrasounds), sharing our good news with family and friends, watching my body change and grow and grow and grow, feeling you kick, putting together your crib, registering for shower gifts, testing strollers, making lists of different names we liked and could agree upon, taking parenting classes and walking around with a bigger smile on our faces and spring in our steps as we happily anticipated your arrival.

We knew the best was yet to be.

Four Months Old

Posted on October 6, 2009 Written by Tonya

It blows my mind that you are four months old today! Everyone always says, “Enjoy it now, they grow up so fast” and they are right on the money. I want time to stand still. You are so much fun right now and I know things are only going to get better.

Here’s a list of just a few of the cute and adorable accomplishments you have made so far…AKA things we love about you:

You rub your eyes when you’re tired.

You no longer need the hammock in your baby bath tub.

You can hold up your head.

You prefer to sleep on your side.

EVERYTHING goes in your mouth and it is just a matter of time before you have your first two teeth. Your middle name should have been Drooly.

You have already been to two birthday parties and two car events.

You are more alert and focused than ever and the more activity that’s going on around you, the better.

You grab at things and are really starting to enjoy your toys, especially Sophie the Giraffe, a crazy monkey and Flip the frog.

You smile and giggle A LOT and at the strangest things, like me sneezing and folding laundry.

Your dad claims that you can put your arms out to be picked up, but I have yet to see this phenomenon.

You can almost hold your own bottle.

You get so excited over looking at a book, you almost can’t stand it.

You still don’t like the car seat very much but, you are doing a lot better since we hung a toy from the handle.

You have almost lost all of your hair.

Your eyes are still blue. 🙂

You have been on three airplanes.

You have been dropped yet and still look at me sometimes as if to say, “careful, mom, two hands!”.

Your aunt and I took you to your first movie, Love Happens at the La Costa Ultra Star Cinemas.

You love to touch the facial hair on your dad’s face.

You break out a 1000 kilowatt smile whenever one of us walk in the room. A simple hello is usually enough to get one. You are definitely know who Mommy and Daddy are.

I love being your mommy.

The best is yet to be.

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Learning To Go With The Flow

Posted on October 1, 2009 Written by Tonya

Confession time! I have always been an anxious person who has difficulty relaxing. I like to be on time and have a need for things to be “just so”. I like to see towels hanging evenly and enjoy a very organized refrigerator and having the pantry stocked with labels facing outward and neatly lined up. I believe that everything has a place and that a well made bed is the perfect foundation to start a good day. I like to have a plan and love to make lists. I thrive on order and okay, I’ll admit it, control. I have never been diagnosed with OCD, but clearly I have a touch.

Over the years, I have tried many different things to relax, let my hair down and free myself of my overactive brain. Yoga has been extremely successful for me, as it makes me witness to my own breath, helps release tension and allows me to reconnect with my spiritual self. Yoga and mass quantities of wine. 🙂

Life with a baby means that schedules, control and order go right out the window. I’ve had no choice but to learn to let go…a little, roll with the punches and breathe A LOT deeper than I ever have in a yoga class. I knew that having a child would do this to me and in a selfish way it’s one of the reasons why I wanted a one. I knew I needed something bigger (or in your case smaller) than myself or a nice Cabernet to s l o w down.

Everything you are experiencing, you are experiencing for the first time and I don’t want miss a moment of it by rushing on to the next thing. The world is full of really cool stuff and taking the time to appreciate it all through your eyes is precious.

I don’t have all the answers and I’m FAR from perfect and the sooner you learn this about me, the better. I’m sure I have already made a lot of mistakes with you in your three and a half short months on this planet, but I’m only human. I know that learning to go with the flow is the best thing I can do for us both. Your dad tells me every day how happy you are and I’m starting to think so too. I know I am.

Namaste, baby.

The best is yet to be.

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Baby Free Hours

Posted on September 27, 2009 Written by Tonya

Your dad spent most of the day with you today solo while I spent literally hours trying to figure out what to do with myself.

After taking a very long, very hot shower, in which I loofahed my entire body and shaved areas that have been hairy for far too long, I added three more mommy blogs to follow to my list, read through every What To Expect The First Year e-mail newsletter I have received in the last three weeks and then realized that the only books on my bedside table are: On Becoming Baby Wise, The Happiest Baby on the Block, The No-Cry Sleep Solution and Trees Make the Best Mobiles. Agh! Is this really what my life has come to? Is absorbing mommy information the only thing that I’m interested in nowadays?

It is hard to recall what I used to do with all of my free time before baby, but that doesn’t mean I don’t miss it or think about it longingly. I think I had hobbies, didn’t I? I vaguely remember reading novels and flipping through glossy magazines for hours on end, watching movies from start to finish in one sitting, enjoying leisurely lunches with friends, having meaningful conversations with your dad that didn’t involve the words “poop”, “melt down” or “nap”, pushed myself to the limit in hard core work outs, took last minute trips to Vegas and Palm Springs and indulged in many guilt free glasses of wine, oh yes and sleep.

I suppose my old interests aren’t gone completely or forgotten, they’ve just expanded to include the most important activity in my life right now, which is raising little you.

When given some me time, why was I at such a loss for what to do today?

I finally just got in the car and drove. I ended up taking myself to lunch and then walked around our local farmer’s market for 45 minutes (something I have wanted to do since we lived here) and got some beautiful produce and fresh flowers; then thank goodness my favorite spa takes last minutes appointments, I got a facial. After that, I spent a glorious hour wandering around the bookstore looking up, you guessed it, baby information! I couldn’t help it, I instantly gravitated towards the Parenting section.

All in all, it was a truly rejuvenating afternoon and not a bad way to spend a few baby free hours by myself.

The best is yet to be.

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The Last Day Of Summer

Posted on September 21, 2009 Written by Tonya

I will always remember the summer of 2009 as the summer that my life changed forever.

This summer, I didn’t spend any time in my bikini working on my tan and I didn’t have any mornings feelings like I drank a little too much the night before. I didn’t see very much of my friends or spend one lazy afternoon with a book. I opted for an early bedtime over enjoying the fireworks on the Fourth of July and I declined several invitations to picnics in the park, pool parties and barbeques. I didn’t see a single summer movie blockbuster at the theater and I avoided all the summer sales at the mall.

Instead, I spent my summer washing bottles, changing diapers, writing thank you notes, taking more photos than any previous summer, trying to figure out how to fold a stroller, carry a car seat without pulling out my back and learning how to wrap the perfect swaddle. I spent the summer of 2009 getting to know you.

You are 108 days old today and sadly our first season together is over. Thank you making it one of my best ones ever. I’m ready for fall!

The best is yet to be.

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In Denial

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My, How Times Have Changed

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Happy Anticipation

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