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Bloggy Boot Camp

Posted on March 18, 2011 Written by Tonya

Normally quiet, shy and reserved until you get to know me and more than happy to hide behind my laptop, I went out on a limb thinking no one else I knew would be attending (except Mommy of a Monster, who is now not able to attend after all) and bought a ticket for my first blogging conference.

I don’t know what I was thinking… I’m not overly comfortable in large groups, especially when I don’t know anyone, but that was more than seven months ago. Now, I have so many friends via Twitter, Letters For Lucas and the mommy blogging community in general that are going to be at Bloggy Boot Camp tomorrow that I am peeing in my pants excited!!

Bloggy Boot Camp is a blogging conference hosted by the SITS (The Secret to Success is Support) community. There are six events this year around the country and this one just happens to be in my back yard.

The event is limited to 125 attendees, so where I once was afraid, I am now looking forward to the intimate setting and because I still consider myself a relatively new blogger, I can’t wait to network and learn what the pros recommend.

The speaker line-up sounds amazing too. I am particularly excited about seeing/hearing/meeting Mama Mary of The Mama Mary Show, whom I have had fun on Twitter with and Kathy, aka Mama Kat, the blogger behind Mama’s Losin’ It. Each week I participate in her nearly world famous, Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop.

I’m sure I’ll walk away mind boggled and inspired.

Check back next week when I share highlights and be sure to let me know if you ‘re planning to be there too.

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Inspiration

Posted on March 16, 2011 Written by Tonya

For me, inspiration comes from 101 different places…. a kind gesture, a meaningful connection with someone I admire, respect or never even met in real life, those that give of themselves and expect nothing in return, an exploration involving a passport, being within the comfort of my home, an epiphany that leads me down a road of self to discovery, a starry sky, a roaring ocean or a vast dissolute desert.

Inspiration also comes from:

My parents because their relationship complimented one another so seamlessly and it’s one that I would like to emulate, they exposed me to the whole world, they instilled in me a strong work ethic and a respect and empathy for all. My son because his light, curiosity and wonder amaze me daily. He makes me want to be a better person.My husband because he puts up with me and all my neurosis and supports me as a navigate through a very wide range of moods and emotions. My friends because no matter where our lives may take us or how busy we get, I know without a doubt we will always be there for each other. We share our successes and failures equally.But, it’s reading books, blogs, magazines, quotes and lyrics that inspire me the most. Just knowing that others have experienced what I have and learning their coping mechanisms or marveling at their own unique lives is a wonderful gift and makes me feel truly alive and incredibly hopeful in myself and the human race.

This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop, Prompt 5) I’m inspired by… (A photo journal entry)

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Goodwill Among Moms

Posted on March 14, 2011 Written by Tonya

It was either Facebook or Twitter where I first learned about The Mom Pledge. Either way, I am all about it and I hope you will be too.

Being a mom is the hardest job I have ever had and I need all the support I can get and I don’t care where it comes from, as long as it’s honest. Let’s whine, complain, cry on each other’s shoulders, offer advice and then tell one another to put on our big girl pants and get over it.

For the most part I have had nothing but positive interactions, made meaningful connections with other moms and truly value the relationships I’m building through Letters For Lucas and other social media outlets.

I have been the victim of negative anonymous comments on my blog and it was very disheartening.

It’s easy to let our words get the best of us, but life is too short to try and keep up with the Joneses, put each other down or hide behind our computer screens.

The Mom Pledge is about bloggers standing up, speaking out, and coming together to eradicate online bullying of moms by other moms. The time has come for us to take the power back and own this issue.

The Mom Pledge

I am a proud Mommy Blogger. I will conduct myself with integrity in all my blogging activities. I can lead by example.

I pledge to treat my fellow moms with respect. I will acknowledge that there is no one, “right” way to be a good Mom. Each woman makes the choices best for her family.

I believe a healthy dialogue on important issues is a good thing. I will welcome differing opinions when offered in a respectful, non-judgmental manner. And will treat those who do so in kind.

I stand up against online bullying. My blog is my space. I will not tolerate comments that are rude, condescending or disrespectful.

I refuse to give those who attack a platform. I will remove their remarks from my blog with no mention or response. I can take control.

I want to see moms work together to build one another up, not tear each other down. Words can be used as weapons. I will not engage in that behavior.

I affirm that we are a community. As a member, I will strive to foster goodwill among moms. Together, we can make a difference.

I have committed to the principles of The Mom Pledge because I believe that it is important to be supportive and respectful to each other. If you do too, please visit: http://www.efloraross.com/

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One Year Ago

Posted on March 2, 2011 Written by Tonya

Exactly one year ago today, March 3, I wrote this post: Safety First. We were having our home baby proofed by a professional baby proofing company (because God knows we couldn’t have done it ourselves) and discovered that our home was unprotected by a carbon monoxide detector.

This was shocking news to me because 1) I thought we had one and 2) My parents died of carbon monoxide poisoning. Boy, did I feel stupid! We immediately rectified this oversight. I urge all of you to make sure you too have a CO detector and that it is in working order. It can save lives!

Also a year ago…

Lucas turned nine months old, just learned how to clap, went into a swimming pool for the first time and started wearing the Doc Band, my sister turned 26, we were starting to really listen to nursery rhymes, I was lusting after Pretty Things and I read Kelly Corrigan’s beautiful memoir, The Middle Place.

Last week I wrote my 500th Letters For Lucas post, Lucas is almost 21 months old, Leah will be 27 on Monday, we have a new address, my husband has his own vintage car showroom, which has been (knock on wood) very successful so far and I’m reading One Amazing Thing by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni and I’m still lusting after pretty things:

Bailey Console Table – Pottery Barn

Love Letters Sheet Set – Anthropologie

Wall Art – Land of Nod

The last week has been rough. Lucas has been sick with the worst cold/flu of his young life and we have been to the pediatrician’s office twice, most recently to find out he now has a double ear infection. I’ve been sick too and so has Todd. Taking care of a sick child when you’re sick too is no fun!

Never a dull moment…

As always, then and now, our life is full of ups and downs, but also a lot of humor along the way.

How has your life changed in one year?

This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop Prompt 3) What were you blogging about last year at this time? What has changed?

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This Thing Has Got To Go!

Posted on February 24, 2011 Written by Tonya

My iPhone and I have a love/hate relationship and I think we need a little time a part. To put it mildly, our relationship has gotten out of hand. One of us is obsessed and the other could care less.

The iPhone: a hundred different habit forming items all in one sleek package.

What would you give for a device that was designed to keep you connected, entertained, informed and make you completely crazy?

Let me explain…

I love being able to look up anything and everything that pops in my head on the Internet; I can self-diagnose a nonexistent medical condition, figure out the name of that guy in that movie, or the title of the song that I can’t stop humming and drool over the J. Crew spring line.

I hate to use it for phone calls, but love to text.

I love that I can keep track of important dates, play Scrabble, update my Facebook status and use the built-in GPS to find my way.

I hate that it distracts me from my son, but love that I can capture daily photos of him with it.

I hate that it is the ultimate time waster and my #1 reason for not reading more, but love having it while waiting for a friend to show up for a lunch date, stuck in a long line or at my doctor’s office.

I hate being so accessible, but love that my babysitter always picks up and is quick to respond.

I love that it can hold my entire music collection and a special play list just for Lucas.

I hate that the battery life is so short. My house has five power cords and I can never find one!

I love being able to check the weather, tag a song on the radio and shake in to find the closest eatery.

I hate that the damn thing was so expensive that I treat it as a second child, even with a hard case and screen protector.

I love Tweeting long after my husband has gone to sleep and making lists of blog ideas I have at 3 in the morning.

I hate that it won’t let me use my potty mouth in texts or Tweets without auto correcting me… hell becomes he’ll, which makes absolutely no sense whatsoever!

Yes, the iPhone can be and do so many wonderful/evil things.

Okay, I am ready to take bids!

What would you give?

C’mon, you know you want one!

These things really are amazing.

Actually, looking back over my list, I do believe my loves outweigh my hates…

On second thought, I think I’ll keep it.

Grr. That damn thing, it always knows how to push my buttons.

This post is for The Red Dress Club’s writing meme, Red Writing Hood. This week’s prompt was to write a humorous ad, a la Craigslist or eBay, where you’re selling things after a breakup.

This is my 500th post!

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Date Nights

Posted on February 15, 2011 Written by Tonya

Last week, I had the honor of publishing a piece on date nights in the Studio30 Plus Magazine.

Studio30 Plus is a blogging community where people over 30 can meet, network, exchange ideas, make new friends and find new blogs to follow.

13 Things I Know For Sure

Posted on February 7, 2011 Written by Tonya

I haven’t been on this planet that long, but certainly long enough to learn a few things about myself, my habits, my body, the products I purchase and my pastimes, that I am now willing to put in black-and-white:

1) Bangs only look cute on Heidi Klum and always seem like a good idea at the time, but will take forever to grow out and look terrible on my face.

2) No matter how great my intentions are, fresh produce will go bad before I know it. Buy as you need, no more, no less.

3) I might as well get $100 out of the ATM, I know I’ll spend it and it will save me the time and embarrassment at Subway.

4) The hotter the shower, the drier my skin.

5) I should have started using eye cream at 20 instead of 30.

6) Generic brand Q-tips suck!

7) If it’s already 9:00, do not start a movie, I will fall asleep. The exception to this is when my husband is out of town and then for some god forsaken reason, I can stay up until after midnight.

8) Send thank you notes immediately! Having to start with, “I’m sorry this is so late…” is no way to thank someone.

9) A watched pot never boils, a phone doesn’t ring, nor an ‘In Box’ fill.

10) I will never be known for my dinner parties, but maybe my unique handwriting.

11) There is such a thing as karma and I am a firm believer in what goes around comes around and it can show up in many different forms; parking spots, waits in line, transferring sleeping children from car seats to cribs and simply being at the right place at the right time.

12) Chances are I will probably never breathe the same air as Dave Matthews, but a girl can dream, can’t she? *Swoon*

13) As much as people may think, it really doesn’t take a lot to make me happy; a bowl of popcorn, a fountain drink, an hour on the treadmill or in a book store, a full tank of gas, showing up on time.

What do you know for sure?

Please take a moment to visit The Purse Blogger today. Laura has selected me as her Favorite Lady of the Week. Thanks, Laura, I’m honored!

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Normal

Posted on January 10, 2011 Written by Tonya

Liz is the brilliant face behind a belle, a bean & a chicago dog, where she shares her adventures with her two adorable daughters, (self proclaimed) metrosexual husband, yummy sounding recipes that even I could attempt and musings on life in general. Her writing is straight forward, witty and always leaves me wanting more.

I am proud to say that Liz is also my fairy blogmother and has advised me on several blogging quandaries with an ease and candor that I respect.

She has to be one of the busiest and most dedicated bloggers in the blogosphere. On top of all the writing she does, I rarely visit a blog that she hasn’t already been to and left a heartfelt comment.

Everyone loves Liz, but if for some reason you aren’t already following her on Facebook, Twitter (she tweets a lot!!), her BBCD Blog Frog Community, or Our Mommyhood, you must be living under a rock or have terrible Internet access and need to right away!

I am happy to have Liz here today and so, without further adieu, here what “normal” looks like in her home.

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I’m so honored to be posting at Letters For Lucas today, though I was even more honored the day Tonya asked me to be her fairy blogmother!

When Tonya and I were talking about this guest post, she asked me about my “Normal.” It’s kinda funny that she chose that topic because it’s something my husband and I talk a lot about.

He and I moved states away from all our family and friends, and everything we knew, over 7 years ago. We hadn’t been married even 2 years when he accepted his first outside sales position, so all the “life accomplishments” you do as a married couple pretty much began after our relocation.

Like, our first (and second and third) home.

Two babies.

And countless new jobs and promotions.

Right from the start, our Normal wasn’t typical.

Another big part of our Normal is that my husband works out of the home. All the time. As in, there is no physical building nor company location within 500 miles of us.

A lot of people’s minds are truly boggled by this, and I’m not sure why. Though once they seem to process this abnormal bit of information, the next question is always, “How is it having your husband around the house all day, every day?“

I usually giggle and say, “It’s a good thing we like each other, because we certainly do spend a LOT of time together!“

He and I are both creatures of habit, which I find to be a good thing. Plus, kids thrive with routine. Since I’m home with them all day, every day, our family routine definitely helps me with the kid wrangling. And working out of the home takes a LOT of discipline, so routine is helpful to his productivity and success, too.

Our routine nature and his working out of the home also means that all he has to do is catch a whiff of what’s cooking, glance at the clock to see if it’s 5 or so, and walk downstairs so we can eat dinner as a family.

Again, not very Normal.

I completely realize that we have some unique benefits with our current set-up. But with all the good come sacrifices, too, like relocation and being a part-time single mom when he’s on the road overnight for work.

So, I guess my Normal could be summed up as this:

-Moved away
-Husband works out of the home
-Husband travels overnight for work
-SAHM
-Dinner at 5

It would be hard for me to imagine what life would be like if Craig suddenly had an office job or if I began working full-time, just like other people can’t imagine having their spouse around the house all day or picking up their lives and moving like we have.

And I totally get that.

And respect that.

Because we each have our own Normal.

What is your Normal like? Would you change your Normal?
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Bloggy Burn Out & Big News

Posted on January 5, 2011 Written by Tonya

Being a blogger is hard work. There’s a lot of self-induced pressure to post something every day. And not just something, but something heartfelt, funny, captivating or relateable.

I currently have 36 drafts.

No joke!

So, I definitely don’t have a lack of ideas or mommyhood topics to write about, I just end up editing and re-editing the same drafts and then get stuck trying to make them work, so there they sit. I suppose it’s the perfectionist in me.

It’s the posts that I hammer out in 10 minutes that are the best received. There’s usually very little thinking involved, they just flow out of me like magic. I love it when that happens.

At any rate, just when I was contemplating taking a few days off and stepping away from my taunting drafts, one of my personal favorite Letters For Lucas posts, The House That Built Me is featured today on the BlogHer Home Page in the Member Section.

For those of you that don’t know, BlogHer is a community and media company created in partnership with women in social media. They also host the world’s largest women’s blogging conference (this year it is taking place in San Diego in March and I bought my ticket last week!). To be featured on their Web site is huge! I am very excited about this and grateful for the opportunity to cast my net and acquire new readers.

Especially with this piece of writing.

This was one of those posts that was so easy to write and came to me very naturally.

I wrote The House That Built Me the morning we moved from our beloved home in San Diego to our new home in Orange County less than a month ago. It was a bittersweet move because of all of the memories and wonderful moments we experienced in our old house.

If you missed this post the first time around, I’d love it if you visited the BlogHer Web site and read it there. Thank you!

As far as my bloggy burn out, I may end up taking some time off.

Oh, shoot, who am I kidding?
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