Tonya

Bloggy Burn Out & Big News

Posted on January 5, 2011 Written by Tonya

Being a blogger is hard work. There’s a lot of self-induced pressure to post something every day. And not just something, but something heartfelt, funny, captivating or relateable.

I currently have 36 drafts.

No joke!

So, I definitely don’t have a lack of ideas or mommyhood topics to write about, I just end up editing and re-editing the same drafts and then get stuck trying to make them work, so there they sit. I suppose it’s the perfectionist in me.

It’s the posts that I hammer out in 10 minutes that are the best received. There’s usually very little thinking involved, they just flow out of me like magic. I love it when that happens.

At any rate, just when I was contemplating taking a few days off and stepping away from my taunting drafts, one of my personal favorite Letters For Lucas posts, The House That Built Me is featured today on the BlogHer Home Page in the Member Section.

For those of you that don’t know, BlogHer is a community and media company created in partnership with women in social media. They also host the world’s largest women’s blogging conference (this year it is taking place in San Diego in March and I bought my ticket last week!). To be featured on their Web site is huge! I am very excited about this and grateful for the opportunity to cast my net and acquire new readers.

Especially with this piece of writing.

This was one of those posts that was so easy to write and came to me very naturally.

I wrote The House That Built Me the morning we moved from our beloved home in San Diego to our new home in Orange County less than a month ago. It was a bittersweet move because of all of the memories and wonderful moments we experienced in our old house.

If you missed this post the first time around, I’d love it if you visited the BlogHer Web site and read it there. Thank you!

As far as my bloggy burn out, I may end up taking some time off.

Oh, shoot, who am I kidding?
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With This Ring…

Posted on January 4, 2011 Written by Tonya

I’m a compulsive hand washer, so I’ve always had very dry hands.

My husband calls them ‘catcher’s mitts’.

When I was in junior high and bit my nails to the quick, I proclaimed to my mother that I would never hold a boy’s hand because mine were so ugly and gross. She made me write that down on a piece of paper and give it to her. As far as I know, she carried that note in her wallet for years until her purse was stolen. 🙁

After I had Lucas, my hands became drier. If that is even possible. But, let’s face it, your body is NEVER the same after giving birth. It takes forever to fit back into your pre-pregnancy clothes and the hair loss and gain in the six months following delivery is, in a word: frightening.

In my case it seems pregnancy wreaked havoc on my skin too.

I had the worst adult acne for months and I still can’t wear my wedding rings with any regularity without this happening: My ring finger becomes a red, swollen, dry, cracked, itchy mess!

I then have to stop wearing my rings for a few days, let it heal and start all over again.

I have tried 1900 different types of lotions and NOTHING seems to help. Here are eight products currently in the rotation:Any suggestions?

Maybe a little sympathy?

My husband is getting a perturbed. Not because he wants to hold my hand, but because he’d like me to wear my wedding rings.

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Operation: Get Organized 2011

Posted on January 3, 2011 Written by Tonya

Operation: Get Organized 2011 is under way!!

Maybe it’s the freshness of a brand new year or all of Target’s wonderful container displays, or the fact that nothing makes you take a good, long, hard look at all your stuff better than a move, but I seriously need a Peter Walsh intervention.

If you aren’t familiar who Peter Walsh is, he is the brilliant Australian who hosts Clean Sweep on TLC and is regularly featured on Oprah as THE decluttering and organization guy. He’s hard core and I could benefit from his tough love.

I am NOT a hoarder by any means, in fact I am one of the most organized people I know. Everything has it’s place in my kitchen, bathroom, purse, wallet, and car, HOWEVER, I do tend to hold on to things for far too long.

Things that don’t matter, but represent a memory.

Things that mean absolutely nothing to you, but everything to me.

Things that, at the end of the day are nothing but clutter and take up very valuable space.

Things that, in some cases may be hard for me to part with.

Things like: magazine clippings, receipts, hotel room keys, dried flowers, matchbooks, movie, concert and airline ticket stubs, notes and cards from friends and family (and not like meaningful handwritten letters, I’m talking postcards, thank you cards, birth announcements, birthday and wedding invitations), restaurant business cards, notebooks I kept when I was in college and papers and poems I wrote in junior high and high school, books that I have read and re-read and marked up and pictures up to my eyeballs.

All of my mementos are kept neatly in several plastic containers in our garage and every once in a blue moon (hardly ever), I’ll go through them and wonder, why do I keep all this stuff?

This year I vow to go though these containers and purge!

The truth is, I DON’T need this stuff and it’s time to let it go.

We (I) also have a lot of candles, candle holders, vases, picture frames without pictures and other knick knacks of absolutely no significance. They were impulse buys, gifts, or no longer go with my lifestyle or decor. If they’re not being used, these things have got to go too!

Yesterday, my husband took Lucas to a yard sale in our old neighborhood and came home wanting to have a sale of our own. Not a bad idea! What’s the saying, one mans junk is another man’s treasure? I doubt anyone will want my wine cork collection, but the other stuff might be worth something to someone.

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A New Year

Posted on January 2, 2011 Written by Tonya

2010 was a year of highs and lows for our household. Luckily the highs outweighed the lows and in many cases I shared them on Letters For Lucas

Here are (just) the highlights:

January – Leah moved to Los Angeles.

March – I got my third tattoo.

April/May – We took a very memorable trip to Australia and New Caledonia, where I got to see my dearest and oldest friend, Sophie again after 10 long years.

May – A fun girl’s weekend to San Luis Obispo.

June – Lucas turns 1 year old.

August – Lady Gaga in concert with Leah.

August – A very intimate backyard BBQ featuring my all time favorite singer, Dave Matthews.

August – Letters For Lucas turned one.

September – Todd started his new business, European Classic Cars on PCH.

September – I gave Seattle another shot, fell in love and got to see my friend Siobhain again after 25 years.

October – I participated in my third Susan G. Komen 3-Day Walk, second with my sister and I got to cross ‘walk over the Golden Gate Bridge’ off my Bucket List.

December – We moved to Orange County.

December – Leah and I took Lucas to Disneyland for his visit time.

Looking forward to 2011, but not a big proponent of New Year’s Resolutions per se, my goals tend to be very similar from year to year:

Exercise more
Read more
Cook more
Be present no matter what I’m doing or who I’m with. Be in the moment.

And this year, I am on a mission to declutter our home starting with Lucas’ toys and books, but more on that in another post.

What’s on your agenda for the next 364 days of the year? Let’s make ’em count!
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Project Smile – December

Posted on December 31, 2010 Written by Tonya

It’s the most wonderful time of the year
It’s the hap-happiest season of all.
– Andy Williams

1st – A photo shoot that I won’t soon forget. Thank goodness I can smile about it now.
2nd – Finally ordered holiday cards after much fretting.
3rd – Spent the night in our new home just for the fun of it.
4th – A long overdue visit with a friend and the discovery that we now only live 8 miles apart!
5th – A much needed trip to the nail salon.
6th – Lucas turned 18 months!
7th – An overnight visit from Grandpa.
8th – A farewell dinner with my Mommy & Me friends.
9th – Looking around at all the boxes laughing and wondering how we will ever get it all done.
10th – Pizza. Enough said.
11th – Date night with neighbors.
12th – Our bittersweet last night in our home.
13th – Moving Day!!
14th – Falling into bed after a very long, very stressful day. Oh, and my sister organizing my closet.
15th – Christmastime at the Happiest Place on Earth! Lucas’ first time at Disneyland.
16th – Front row seats to the annual Newport Beach Boat Parade.
17th – A new library. A new library card.
18th – Unpacking. Organizing. Settling in.
19th – Chickmas, an annual tradition my girlfriends and I have to celebrate the holidays.
20th – Finished Christmas shopping and wrapping presents just in the nick of time…
21st – Bags packed and made it to our flight on time. Whew!
22nd – Seeing Lucas follow his cousins around in complete and utter awe.
23rd – Husband and sister arrive at in-laws for the holiday.
24th – Spending the holiday with family.
25th – Lucas’ face when he discovered what Santa left him under the tree.
26th – A long car ride home with a very happy toddler makes all the difference in the world. That and zero going home holiday traffic.
27th – Getting back to reality.
28th – New nanny’s first day!!
29th – Celebrating Todd’s birthday with cupcakes, bowling and beer.
30th – Sick in bed. All. day. long. Not much smiling going on here until I see Lucas’ face.
31st – An old year to learn from and remember and a new year to ring in and embrace.

I hope every day of December found all of you smiling as well!

Alicia is the beautiful brain child behind this wonderful monthly meme. Be sure to link up at her blog, A Beautiful Mess or check out other people’s reasons to smile.

You can see my November reasons to smile here.

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Finding The Time

Posted on December 28, 2010 Written by Tonya

I honestly don’t know how some mothers do it, especially those with more than one child and no help, or those that work full time. And those that have more than one child and work full time are my absolute heroes!

I really have no business complaining. I have a husband, who is a very hands-on father, a sister who babysits from time to time AND a nanny two days a week for 10 hours and I still feel like I’m drowning.

I’m drowning in obligations or things I feel like I should be doing and never seem to find the time to get to. Am I alone?

Sure, we are just coming out of a holiday season, which is busy and overwhelming for everyone. And yes, we did just moved and it will be a while before the dust has settled, the boxes are all empty and the piles have disappeared, but nevertheless, my ‘To Do’ is long and grows daily. Here are some of the items currently at the top:

Find new pediatrician.
Find new general practitioner and dentist.
Write and send holiday thank you cards.
Call umpteen companies and change our address.
Figure out a plan on how and when to start potty training Lucas.
Hire a picture hanger (don’t ask, just trust me when I say that it will save my marriage by doing this).
Go through closet, bathroom products, books and photos. Organize!!
Get my ass back into the gym.
Start researching nursery schools.

It goes on and on and on from there…

I realize none of these things are dire, but they weigh heavily on my mind.

How do you find the time to stay fit, connect with your spouse, spend quality time with family and friends, have a coherent conversation on the phone, keep a daily blog, read blogs daily, read anything, watch your favorite shows, shop for a wedding gift, make dinner, stay on top of the laundry, etc., etc., etc.?! How do you do it all? And better yet, how do you do it all WITHOUT the guilt? How do you do it and still be present for your child?

Please don’t say “better time management” or “by prioritizing”, because I think I’m pretty good at both of those. My problem is that once Lucas goes down for a nap or it’s bedtime, or I happen to have some “me time”, I honestly need the time to decompress, gather myself and my thoughts and have absolutely zero desire to jump into a task. I need the quiet.

Since becoming a mother, I have found that boredom is SO underrated.

So, again, how do you do it?

Stay up all night?

Medication?

I really want to know. What are your best tips and tricks?

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Our Holiday

Posted on December 28, 2010 Written by Tonya

Christmas jammies #1

We spent the week of Christmas in the Bay Area at my in-laws house. My sister drove up from LA to be with us too. My sister-in-law and her husband and two daughters live nearby, so they were a big part of our holiday. Our visit was full of food, family and fun.

Here are some photos that tell our Christmas story…