Tonya

My Cheatin’ Heart

Posted on May 21, 2013 Written by Tonya

Elaine, wife, mommy to three, amateur (and also awesome) photographer has been writing her blog, The Miss Elaine-ous Life since 2006. In blogging years that’s an eternity! I am lucky to have her here today.

Elaine misses the Lone Star state and hopes to return some day, until then, she’s written the great state of Texas a letter in hopes that she won’t soon be forgotten.

Dear Texas,

I saw you recently and you looked pretty good. You continue to grow like crazy. People really do love you.

And I love you too but I have to let you know that I do feel like I have been cheating on you a little bit.

And I am sorry.

You will always be my first love. I mean, I found my way to you when I was just a baby and all of the major milestones in my life happened with you (well except the last one, the birth of my own baby girl… sorry about that, it was out of my control).

But here’s the thing. It has been almost 4 years since I have left you (!!!) and although I have made frequent visits back to see you, things just aren’t the same.

Last time I was in Dallas I could barely navigate the getting-even-bigger-and-bigger freeways. I mean here in Louisiana (at least in Lafayette) I call the mall (that is 7 minutes away) “The other side of town”. The only reasons I even get on the highway are to go to Baton Rouge or to come see you.

Oh and one of the last times I was there you burned down Big Tex. What is up with that?!?!

I am not trying to sound rude but I have to say, Louisiana has been pretty good to me. I have made some wonderful friends. (I know, I know, I have great friends in you too, Texas, trust me I know!). My children have made good friends. We have experienced different food, a different vernacular and different culture.

The weather here is actually pretty good despite the few months of MAJOR humidity (c’mon, you have your fair share of that too…) But it rains a lot so there is no fear of drought and the winters are not too cold.

The people (for the most part) are kind and friendly and willing to give you a smile when you pass them.

And I have two words for you, (okay kinda three, and they are all French, not Spanish, so I hope you understand): Beignets and Café au Lait.

I know, you have chicken fried steak and awesome salsa. Oh and Margaritas… mmmmm…

You have a lot to offer and I miss much of it, I do.

But I have to say, I gave LA a bad rap before we moved here and it just wasn’t fair. It’s really not that bad after all.

I do wish that we will be back together someday though… After all, our families are there and I can only do without Chuy’s and Uncle Julio’s on a regular basis for so long.

So, save me a pretty house on some land where I can plant a nice veggie garden and raise my own chickens, that’s not too far “from town”, deal?

Deal.

I love you, Texas, but we just cannot be together right now.

Hope to see you soon…

ALWAYS Yours,

Elaine

Click on photo for source.

Follow Elaine on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.

10 Things Totally Pissing Me Off This Week

Posted on May 17, 2013 Written by Tonya

Call it hormones, the wacky weather, lack of sleep or just first world problems, here are 10 things currently pissing me off:

1. Toilet paper in public restrooms. Not only is it cheap and flimsy, why can’t I get more than one teensy square? I hate fighting with those damn dispensers!

2. Pharmacies. I wonder how much time I’ve wasted at the pharmacy this week alone; dropping off prescriptions, picking up prescriptions, arguing with pharmacists over prescriptions, waiting for prescriptions, coming back to pick up prescriptions. It’s enough to drive a person absolutely bananas!!

3. Bad parking jobs. Does anyone know how to park anymore? Twice this week I have had to climb into my car through the passenger door to get into the driver’s seat. The lines on the lot are there for a reason!!

4. Sunburns. Yep, I’m an idiot and before you ask, I was wearing SPF 55, but I guess it wore off after 5 long hours in the sun. Ouch!! Luckily, it’s only in my belly.

5. Apartment living. Enough said.

Actually, there is an entire blog post in that one, but I’ll save it for another day….

6. Poop. Specifically, people that don’t/won’t/can’t pick up after their dogs. O_o

7. Visiting blogs that make me jump through hoops to leave a comment. Math equations, Captcha quote and a check box? Just to prove I’m human? Are we still doing this? C’mon, already.

8. The punishment light. You know the one, your neighborhood has to have one, it’s the traffic light that is red no matter what direction you’re coming from and you always get stuck at it. Always!!

9. Services that just can’t be services. Regular every day, need to go places like the car wash or hair salon that have treats and snacks and ice cream and TOYS!!! Can’t I just get my car washed without having to argue with my son and say no 900 times?!

10. Customer, no service. It doesn’t matter where I go anymore, I can get no help from sales staff and they actually act like I’m just a huge burden to them. I know minimum wage is low, but please do your job.

What’s irritating you these days?

To All The Parents We’ve Never Met

Posted on May 16, 2013 Written by Tonya

Arnebya is a writer, speaker, wife, and mother. She was selected as a BlogHer Voice of the Year in 2012 and is a fellow 2013 Washington, DC Listen To Your Mother cast member! Her blog is What Now and Why and her writing is equal parts cheeky and smart, not too mention funny and poignant.

Arnebya shares a letter with us today directed to the parents of her child’s friend, who want her to sleepover (Arnebya’s daughter, not Arnebya… keep reading). This is more than a play date or meeting at the movies, this is all. night. long and there are a few rules…

Dear Parent I’ve Never Met Who Wants My Child to Stay At Your House,

Last week, my daughter was invited to a birthday party for your child. My daughter said the plan was for you to take them to the movies, to dinner, then back to your house for a sleepover. She said the movie started “around 4.”

I don’t know you, and that’s as much my fault as it is yours. I guess. But, my child was invited to your house. Here are a few things I think would be beneficial for you to know/do before inviting other people’s kids to your home:

1. Call parents and introduce yourself.

2. Provide a detailed invitation with a phone number and address because word of mouth between seventh graders is kinda insufficient.

3. Offer information about yourself and your home. Do you have an escape plan in case of fire? When was the last time you changed the batteries in your smoke detectors? Do you HAVE smoke detectors? This isn’t the time to forget to mention that you grow and sell weed from your backyard.

4. If you’re driving someplace (movies or bowling, for example), I may want to drop off, pick up, and bring my child to your house. Don’t be offended. If you plan on having 7 attend but your car only seats 5 people, I’d rather my child not sit on someone’s lap.

5. Do you allow open access to the Internet at home? Because even the most benign search request can turn up porn. Trust me.

I am a nice person, I promise. I’m not even particularly over-protective or nosy. But when it comes to my child being your responsibility, especially overnight, I really need to know that you are, well, responsible. If our children are to spend time together, even irregularly, shouldn’t you be able to answer a few questions about me, if asked (instead of being that person who blindly offers “She didn’t seem like the type” when you find out I duct tape my kids to chairs in order to watch certain TV in peace?)

Let’s bring back community. Let’s bring back knowing the parents and families of the children our children are friends with, or at least knowing one person who knows the mom of that little boy who always tries to cross the street against the light.

Signed,

The Parent Who Usually Says No (and can tell the difference between weed and mint growing in your backyard)

Follow Arnebya on Facebook and Twitter.

This Dog

Posted on May 15, 2013 Written by Tonya

I wanted another baby, but got a puppy instead.

I have often wondered what the hell I was thinking!

Lucas helped name him Charlie Pasta.

This dog.

This beautiful dog and I first locked eyes when Charlie was just 23 days old. Back then he was named Logan (he is so NOT a Logan). He came home with us 45 days later and has been a bona fide member of our family ever since. Charlie has tested my patience in more ways than my son and I am not kidding. There have been many days that this dog was lucky to live through.

Puppies are a lot of work and this particular breed is no different. Brittany’s are equal parts energetic, cute and smart. I am really wishing I had known how energetic! As a bird dog, Charlie is always on high alert sniffing out EVERYTHING!! He has a difficult time relaxing, loves having a task, enjoys taking very l o n g walks and his favorite place to be is in the center of our king size bed; on the sheets not on the comforter. Watching him pull the comforter down is hilarious.

I like to compare Charlie to an obsessive boyfriend, always wanting/needing to be right by my side. I like him laying under my feet as I write, but often will trip over him the second I get up because he will too.

Charlie Pasta loves Lucas, tolerates me and ADORES my husband. Yeah, the guy that refused to get a dog has a canine BFF.

I’ve written about Charlie Pasta before here and here and here and have posted tons of photos all over the interwebs.

I can’t believe our puppy turns a year old on June 1. You better believe there will be a dog-friendly cake, lots of treats and pats, a new chew toy or two and if he’s lucky, I’ll pull the comforter back for him.

This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop Prompt #1: Introduce a pet.

Mother’s Day

Posted on May 12, 2013 Written by Tonya

Tonight when I take the Listen To Your Mother stage in Sacramento, I’ll be thinking about my mother.

It’s Mother’s Day after all, who else would I be thinking of? Of course, not a day goes by that I don’t think of her.

I wonder what she’d think of the piece I’m going to share.

I’m sure she’d cry and laugh in all the right places and then ever sentimental, cry some more.

I have no doubt that she would be tremendously proud of me.

Oh, how I wish more than anything that she were going to be sitting in the audience and the first one to hug me after the show.

I wish she were here today and always.

Happy Mother’s Day, mom.

May, 2007

Mercy

Posted on May 10, 2013 Written by Tonya

Please keep walking.

I don’t know you but our children go to the same school. Your daughter is in Lucas’ class and your middle son is in the room down the hall. We greet each other when we see one another during pick ups and drop offs. The children all take swim lessons at the same pool so we see each other every week at the same time there too.

Please don’t sit down next to me.

I’ve watched your adorable pregnant self over the months and congratulated you when your new bundle of joy arrived. He’s teething so he has to be about five months old now. I know you were struggling to keep him happy today while the kids swam.

Please don’t come any closer.

I knew if you sat down the inevitable would happen. We would begin chatting probably about teething remedies and I wouldn’t be able to keep my eyes off of him.

Oh, he is too cute and so happy with those big, bright, beautiful eyes.

I knew I wouldn’t be able to control myself.

I would offer to hold him, giving you a moment of relief and a chance to dig through your diaper bag for a teething toy.

Lucas had these same alligator jammies. I hope I saved them.

I’d smile and play peek-a-boo, take in his sweet scent and hope to get a baby fix. All the while trying to stop the hurt in my heart, the longing penetrating my body and begging for mercy.

Why didn’t you just keep walking?

Desperately Seeking Missing Mojo

Posted on May 9, 2013 Written by Tonya

Ugh! I’m a mess. I honestly don’t know if I’m coming or going.

I do know that I have become the worst blogger ever. No, that can’t be true. I am the worst guest host ever. My weekly series, Letters For You is suppose to run on Wednesdays (technically, Tuesday nights) and here it is almost FRIDAY and I am just now posting this. I literally lost an entire day this week.

My sincere apologies to Jennifer, my guest and all of you waiting with bated breath.

Jennifer of Jennifer P. Williams (previously, Mom Made It Look Easy) is my guest today.

Jennifer has lost something and would love to have it back…. Good God, can I identify as proven by my lackadaisical mind this week.

Dear Mojo,

I hope this letter finds you. I know it has been awhile since we’ve hung out, and I’m not sure whether or not you’ve moved. All I know is that I can’t seem to get in touch with you. Did you leave me Mojo? Did you? You can tell me. I promise I can take it. Was it Hormones? Did she scare you away? I know she can be a real bitch, but she’s only around a few days a month. If I promise to try to keep her under control will you come back?

If it wasn’t her, could it have been Lazy? She’s been showing up a LOT lately, stinking up the place, throwing her dirty laundry everywhere. I can definitely understand why you wouldn’t want to hang out with her. Do you think you could come over for a visit if I kick her out? I know Creativity has been missing you. She’s been throwing around ideas like crazy, but without you she can’t seem to do anything with them. You really are the glue that holds the whole Right Brain thing together.

Or is it me? Have I pushed you away with Distractions and Excuses? I promised at the beginning of the year to keep my focus, but sadly, I feel that between sometime then and now I’ve lost it. I wanted to do great things this year. I wanted to write and take photos and organize my house and update some of the rooms. It feels like you, Mojo, and Focus are the knife and the fork, but instead of running away with the spoon, you’ve ran away with me. The real me. The me that yearns to do and be and think and feel more.

I need you back. I need my essence. I need my drive. I need that thing that makes me me. I need you. You complete me. See, I can’t even do better than a corny movie line without you. Please. Come home.

Love always,

Jennifer

Follow Jennifer on Facebook, Pinterest and Twitter.

Smoothie Love

Posted on May 1, 2013 Written by Tonya

I gave up my beloved Diet Coke and did a three day juice cleanse a couple of years ago and loved everything about it, but I’ve been in need of a refresher.

Enter: The Smoothie.

It all started with a pin I found on Pinterest (doesn’t everything?), which led me to a blog post, which led to my lusting after a Vitamix blender and ended with me rethinking the way I eat.

I have been making a ton of smoothies, in fact one a day the entire month of April and there is no end in sight. I had two today. I’m obsessed!

I’m no cook but after a month of smoothie recipes, both following them and getting creative, I can honestly say I know what I’m doing. I love how endless the options are, not to mention how delicious and nutritious smoothies are! Things that you would never think go together, like blueberries, kale and avocado, do!

Trust me.

Great for detoxing, as a meal replacement or as a way to get a lot more nutrients in your diet, smoothies are awesome.

My favorite, by far is something I call Strawberry Goodness:

1 cup oatmeal (I use Old Fashioned Quaker Oats)
1.5 cup almond milk (unsweetened)
1 huge handful of strawberries (fresh or frozen, I prefer fresh, but frozen will thicken your smoothie).
1 huge handful of spinach
1 tablespoon ground flax seed
1 teaspoon Stevia (optional)

Blend on high for about a minute and serve over ice or enjoy as is!

Smoothie shown in photo did not include spinach and therefore turned a pretty pink hue, the spinach makes it gray-ish. Please do not let the color scare you, it’s still tastes super yummy!

This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop Prompt #5: Refreshments anyone? Prepare a drink for us and share the recipe!

These Moments

Posted on April 30, 2013 Written by Tonya

I’ve learned to live for these moments.

The small moments.

The few and far between moments.

The moments you could never plan for and don’t see coming.

The moments we don’t even know we need until we are smack dab in the middle of them.

The moments that simultaneously make motherhood and childhood magical.

The moments that force me to stop and see the world through my son’s eyes.

The moments that allow me to truly be present, forget all my worries, doubts and fears and take in beauty, light and peace.

These moments feel like gifts.

What you don’t see in this photo are four bags of groceries surrounding me on the sidewalk.

What you don’t know is that Lucas and I had a rough afternoon together full of errand running, negotiation and frustration.

We watched the snail slowly slither across our path for 10 minutes or more and it was awesome.

I need more moments like this.

Spring Break 2013

Posted on April 26, 2013 Written by Tonya

If you follow me on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram then you know Lucas was on Spring Break last week. I posted a lot of these photos already, but here are more highlights from our very long, yet very fun 10 days together.

I kept us busy day in and day out by visiting amusement parks, regular parks, meeting new friends (Snoopy and Katie and her equally car-crazed son), scheduling play dates, soccer lessons, surprise lunch visits with Daddy, a sunset Duffy boat ride and there may have been an afternoon or two or three of ice cream.

There was limited TV watching and iPhone/iPad playing, lots of wine (for me, not him) and only two naps (not that I counted or anything). By the way, those last two things have nothing to do with one another. NOT!!

Spring Break sure has changed from when I was in school, but my son is becoming a really cool kid and I like hanging out with him a lot. He’s funny, silly, kind, super fast on his scooter and so, so, SO determined… especially in the nap department.

Wonder where he gets that?

Click here to see how we spent last Spring Break!

My Cheatin’ Heart

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