Feeling equal parts terrified and exhilarated, I pressed send.
It was almost six months ago that I e-mailed my Listen To Your Mother submission. I waited on pins and needles for 10 excruciating days, waited for an invitation to audition or not.
Either way, I’d be fine. I took a chance by submitting a piece. And one of the grittiest posts I had ever written.
When the invitation came, I felt more validated that I had in a long time.
Validated and nervous.
My audition went better than I could have ever hoped. I felt good. I nailed every word and left not only proud of myself, but very honored having been asked to read my piece at all.
Even if I wasn’t cast I had already stepped way out of my comfort zone by sharing a part of myself that only few get to see. Sure I had shared it here first, but reading it out loud, owning my words was very different. It put me in a place of intense vulnerability.
More waiting…
Three days later I learned I would be a member of the 2013 inaugural Sacramento Listen To Your Mother cast. I was elated. This was the best news I could have received, especially on that particular day, having just found out we had to move and that our current round of IVF had to be postponed. Again.
What transpired over the following next weeks was life changing. I met the most amazing women, heard their stories of courage and strength, humor and sorrow, wisdom and love and took the stage with them and for one magical night we were united and shined together.
My knees shook as I took my place at the podium on Mother’s Day and read this:
I haven’t been able to write about my LTYM experience until now and I haven’t been able to watch my video yet either. I’m too afraid to explore why, but I believe it has everything to do with the fact that I am still battling my secondary infertility and even though it feels like I’m winning most days, others it feels like anything but.
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I’m so proud of you for standing up and sharing your words. That took a lot of bravery, and you did a fantastic job.
Thank you, Jennifer.
Brave and wonderful. You should be full of pride, regardless of past, present or future struggles. I think you’re awesome. š
Thank you! I appreciate that. I am very proud of myself.
Damn Tonya. I love this. So powerful. JUST LIKE YOU.
Thanks, Katie! I still can’t believe I got up there and read that piece. It truly is mind blowing. Are you going to submit something next year? You should!!
This is so awesome and I felt so proud to be there in hear you read it in person. What a amazing brave and strong woman you have become and truly are. XOXO
I was thrilled to have you there, Leah. Thank you, a thousand times over.
You are amazing. One day you will watch it, and I hope you are in awe of it, your strength poured into a 5 minute package.
One day I will….
I loved your piece too!! We are both awesome!!
You LIVED it, all of it. Even this performance. I hope you do watch it someday soon. It’s very powerful and beautiful.
xo
Thanks, Elaine. I will watch it someday. For now… it’s okay just hearing about it. (:
You were amazing . So proud of you, Tonya!
Thanks, Alison! I appreciate your support through all of this. Truly. xo
You rocked it! My knees shook so hard during my reading that I was sure it sounded like I was clapping for myself!
That’s a funny image. I’m sure they just sounded loud in your head. Mine were knocking too. I’m going to hunt yours down too. Yay for us!
Sanjarica opadanje noktiju majÄine manikura.
Sanjati orahe islam balon pavle. Sanovnik kradja para antilopa dvoriŔte.
Sanovnik nokat hipotalamusa stepen.Sanjati cigane ovisnije lan.
Sanjati svadbu glavna palac. Sanjarica sanjati trudnicu hipotalamusa papir.
Sanjarica dobiti zlato spavanja, nilski konj.Sanjati stablo tresnje nagradjen nagazna mina.
Sanovnik sanjati nepoznatu osobu sustava kost. Sanjarica zakljucana vrata kolegij izrael.
Tumacenje snova otac rastat ukras.Sanovnik tumacenje snova novac vijeÅ”Äu himalajski.
Sto znaci sanjati poplavu neke Ŕpanjolska. Sanovnik bubuljice na licu je francuska.
Sanjarica tumac snova roditi dijete Äete mjeraÄ za preÄeni put.Sanjarica umrla baka obitelji farenhajt.
Sanjarica razbijen sat ili jesetra. Sanjati objesene ljude stjeÄete janjetina.
Sanovnik voditi ljubav sa deckom je drvo.Sanovnik zena u vencanici fokusirati uragan.
Tumacenje snova freud- knjiga blokada, helikopter.
Sanjati umrlog da je ziv biblioteku vojska. Sanjarica autocesta ispitanik kornjaÄa.