I am thrilled to have Angela of Tread Softly (formerly known as Tiaras & Trucks) on Letters For You!
Angela has always been a big supporter of Letters For Lucas and I have always admired her writing, especially her contributions to Write on Edge, where she serves as Managing Editor.
We have a lot in common, apart from both being moms and bloggers, we both enjoy running and LOVE to read. Angela writes stellar book reviews and often for BlogHer Book Club. Her review of The Night Circus is one of my favorite and the letter she shares here today is equally insightful and clever. Please enjoy!
Dear Achilles Tendon,
I understand you might feel a bit left out; I’ve been verbalizing writing goals and talking about house projects and publicly scratched my plans to run a half marathon this month. I heard your little temper tantrum, stubbornly tightening up as I let go of my training plan and attempted to get in miles when and where I could.
Out of respect for your hurt feelings, I agreed to take a running break. So I’ve been passing time on an elliptical machine that leaves me unfulfilled—my coveted runner’s high can’t find me on those giant paddle-pedals.
I thought we’d reached a delicate understanding, dear body. I would close my eyes on running and let you heal. You would toe the line on other cardio equipment and keep the status quo.
I wasn’t expecting a rebellion.
Walking out of the gym that morning, tentatively stretching my heel all the way to the ground, the air held the unmistakable lightness of fall. No humidity hung between the street lights and the stars, and my sweat-dampened shirt felt uncomfortably cool for the first time in months.
I pulled my folded jeans out of their drawer and over my legs, unaccustomed to the feel of denim after a season of skirts and dresses and the occasional cotton pajama pants. Fastening the button was simple and they zipped with ease. As they had months before, within minutes the too-stretchy fabric would need to be yanked up time and again throughout the day.
They still fit—as they should have, since my running hiatus was only counting days. Yet the seams pressed uncomfortably into my legs. I slid my hands over the faded thighs, trying to remember if they’d looked exactly like this in April.
I resisted the urge to stride to the bathroom and jump on the scale. I wanted to scrutinize the numbers the way I missed studying the treadmill screen as I gauged my pace during faster intervals. Instead I bent to the floor, cringing a bit at the way the waistband felt against my waist. Touching you, my poor, sore Achilles, reminded me I still need time to heal.
But now I’m left wondering how much of my self-image is tied to my identity as a runner. Feeling strong and fit shouldn’t be connected to the sole act of pounding my feet into pavement or a moving rubber belt over and over again. But it might.
So dear Achilles . . . please heal. Accept my offer of rest, ease your soreness, and allow me to run again. If not, please call a truce with my brain and with my body image. Because fall and winter in Michigan are chilly and long and call for many more days of jeans.
Love,
Me
P.S. I’ll buy you new shoes this week.
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It’s so hard when your body and your mind don’t play nicely together sometimes.
Heal well, Angela!
Thanks Alison! It’s so true that my body and my brain like to spar.
Oh Angela…you are an amazing woman you know that? I read your words and know the kind of woman, wife and mother you are. I feel your emotions about body image and self worth with every sentence.
It goes without saying that I think you look amazing and I envy your love and willingness to run. Much like anything we love, you miss it when it’s not a part of you day or your life.
Heal well and quickly..get back to that place of joy. Xoxo
xo I miss it. I need to learn not to miss it when I am still able to do so many other things!
Oh, Angela, I hope that you heal quickly and can get back to what makes you feel good!
Thanks Greta! Though I am still a little sad we won’t be doing early morning workouts together at Blissdom this year. Maybe I will be able to make it back there for 2014 😉
Tonya, Thank you SO MUCH for having me here to share this. I can only hope that I can continue to find my way to a good place with my body image so I don’t pass these silly thoughts down to my daughter (and son, too!)
No matter what you are a beautiful person and don’t let your jeans dictate anything. Just remember that all to soon you’ll be up and running again!
I hope so! Or I will have to learn to love the elliptical.
Hi Angela!! I didn’t workout as much as I should have or could have this summer. I let some of my bad moods talk me out of it but I did keep active with my girls. I was so stressed when it was chilly enough to put jeans on the other day. I worried about how they would feel after the loose and comfy clothes of summer but they fit. I’m not sure if it is as well as last winter but they still button and I can still breathe in them. To me, that was just the reminder that I needed…to breathe and not let it all get to me. Mind over body leads to a happy and healthy heart.
Wishing you much success in a quick recovery. You are so much more than a runner, remember that. xo
Kristen, thank you! I do have to remember not to base the way I feel about myself on my ability to run OR the way my jeans fit 🙂 I will try to remember to breathe. xo
I don’t like when my mind plays tricks on me, giving me a false image of myself. I battle this daily and it’s exhausting.
I hope that you heal quickly and are able to get back to something that you love so much.
Love this! I actually love the elliptical…it’s good for my allergies and my knees, but I totally get it. You know when something changes, when the normal routine faces a shift. You just know.
I hate that when you’re trying and making adjustments and your body doesn’t cooperate. But you are strong and beautiful and you will show those jeans (and those genes) who’s boss!
I loved the p.s. in this letter:~) I’m not a runner myself, but know many who are. They talk about how it is an addicting activity both in the physical sense (all those endorphins flying freely), but also a life style.
I can imagine it’s hard not to do it and how machines will not quite capture the wind in your hair, the sweat on your body and the thrill of completion when the run is over. I will be thinking of you healing soon and how your feet will enjoy the new shoes as they hit the pavement:~)
I hope you heal soon my friend so you can go running and so you can party all night at BlogHer next year!
For me, it’s my knees. I am trying to balance my desire to run with their rebellious attitude that any pounding should happen at all.
I have been very fortunate and have never had a running-related injury and I have done a lot of running in the past couple of years. KNOCK ON WOOD!
I do know what you mean about that runner high that you can’t get doing anything else at the gym-like the LAME elliptical! Haha
I hope you heal very soon so you can get back to it~! I’m running a Half-Marathon next Sunday and I’m super excited/nervous for it!
Babak 3:
“Eh, saya terkecuali pak cik. Saya rasa janggal bila ada orang panggil saya ‘cik’. Tolong panggil nama saya je.”
Kita terpisah selepas SPM, hati ini menangis kerana tidak sempat menatap wajah Nizam untuk kali yang terakhir..namun Za tetap berdoa. Semoga masih ada pertemuan antara kita. Hari-hari yang Za lalui terasa begitu sunyi, hinggalah keputusan SPM diumumkan. Za lah orang yang paling gembira, bukan kerana Za dapat 8A, Za gembira kerana Za mungkin dapat berjumpa dengan Nizam.
Tatty anguk, tangan diangkat gaya seperti orang sedang mengangkat sumpah di mahkamah. Pemuda itu tersengih.
seringkali juga terlintas di fikiranku pasal Zhafrul..Zhafrul insan pertama yang pernah mencorakkan hati remajaku, yang pertama menimbulkan rasa debar di hatiku..namun dia semakin hilang..tiada khabar mahupun berita tentangnya..Entah-entah dah kawin dah mamat tu..
“Mana ada..awak tak boleh buruk sangka tau..”Ammar membela diri.Tapi 90% tekaan Aulia tu betul.Siapa tak takut kalau sebelum itu dia pernah minum air kordial yang dibuat Aulia.Ya Rabbi..tak sanggup dia nak ingatkan.Rasa yang begitu dasyat sekali..rupanya, Aulia tersilap meletakkan pencuci pinggan mangkuk yang disangkakan botol minuman kordial..memang tak patut! nasib baik tak cair isi perut. Silap dia kerana teruja sangat nak minum masa tu.Lepas jugalah seteguk dua minuman kordial ciptaan makhluk tuhan yang sorang ni dalam perutnya..
” Okey,”
Aku mengulum senyum manis. Tolonglah cair dengan senyuman aku ni !
Please girl… don’t say no!
“Buat jus lah..awak kan suka…”
“Eh , kau ni . Dah la aku nak mandi . Mana Nasha dengan Pinot ye ? Aku tak nampak lagi diorang berdua tu dari petang tadi .”
Sufi rasa serba salah. Di. kawasan apartmentnya itu memanglah tiada siapa yang akan menghalang mereka dari berbual di kawasan taman itu tapi dia tak mahu rakan serumahnya salah anggap pada mereka berdua.Kalau hari siang tu lainlah..
Uhukkk!! Uhukk..!! (Adoi.. spoiler mood betul la.. )
?? Wow ! Thanks for the compliment. It really brings me to a good mood tonight.??
Oleh : ESYA QAISARA