Momma Kiss is my guest this week and if you don’t know of her or her blog, this woman has sass and spunk for days with an ooey gooey scrumptious center.
Her letter today is to a dear friend who recently lost her brother. Let it be a good reminder that even though we may not connect with our friends as often as we’d like, they are always in our hearts and their hurt is shared.
Dear Bobo,
I know it’s been over a year since we’ve seen each other.
Call it busy schedules with both of our little families growing or just plain life in general, I’m wishing we hadn’t let so much time go by.
And I know we’ve been in touch plenty, via texts and messages and sharing pictures and laughs.
So when I got a message from you on Saturday, knowing you’d send something even though I was with family, I opened it expecting a silly monkey face.
When instead, I read that you were in pain and in shock, not at all ready to speak – but that your brother had been killed in a car accident – I dropped to my knees.
Bobo, I’m so sorry for your loss.
So. Sorry.
I hate that you know this pain. This pain so raw you want to claw your skin off. You want to scream at the top of your lungs “WHY?”
Everyone grieves differently, and the process you will go through will not be easy. Services will be held {wear sunglasses}. Sedatives may be advised {take them}. Questions will be asked {you’re allowed to ignore them}.
Your Momma will need a hug and a shoulder – if you can, offer it.
Please, my friend, also allow yourself the time to process this. I know you’re one to take care of everyone else’s needs first. Please take care of you.
And after things calm down… after your friends stop bringing you food and wine… You will find yourself in your kitchen… maybe in The Bunker, folding laundry. And you will have a memory of your brother that may just shatter you.
I want you to know that it’s not the end of the world, though. I promise you.
From this day forward, every single thought you have of your brother – childhood fights, laughs, his time with your boys – every single one will honor his time on earth.
I love you, Bobo. I’m here for you.
Please follow Momma Kiss on Twitter and Pinterest.
Related Posts:
I love you MommaKiss! And this: “And after things calm down… after your friends stop bringing you food and wine… You will find yourself in your kitchen… maybe in The Bunker, folding laundry. And you will have a memory of your brother that may just shatter you” That is grief perfectly described. Awesome job, my friend.
Thanks Natalie. Sadly, still 18 years later, those random memories can either make you laugh or cry.
Oh, this is so sad…I hate that your friend is dealing with this and I HATE that anyone has to lose a sibling.
Hugs to you, adorable MommaKiss. xoxo
hugs always accepted, thanks 😉
T, thank you for having me. My dear friend doesn’t need to hear my advice right now, she’s in the throes of shock and awe still. Sadly, though, I know too well the loss of a little brother. Much too soon.
It’s a reminder to us all to cherish our lover ones 😉
Our loved ones. Not lover ones.
Sheesh.
I’m so sorry for your friend’s loss. I can’t even imagine the grief. This is a beautiful letter. She’s so lucky to have you as a friend.
that’s what friends are for, right?
we have so many parallels in our lives – that we discovered years ago – and sadly now this is another one…
This is beautiful, and proof that you don’t have to see a person every day to feel how strong their friendship is. The good ones last despite the busy schedules and hectic lives, and will be there no matter what.
Thanks tracy – sad that this brings us together, but at least we do have each other.
You are such a dear friend MK. I am so sorry for your friend’s (and YOUR) loss though I know yours has helped shape who you are. You and yours are in my thoughts.
it does shape you, that’s true. and the grief is different – our brothers were different ages, stages. yet it’s still a loss. Thanks Mad Woman.
She is lucky to have you as a friend but I’m sure that she knows that. I’m sorry for her loss and hope that she does take the time to care for herself and not get lost in helping everyone around her.
I’m lucky for her, too – she’s helped me many a time. After things calm down, I’ll be taking her for a spa weekend. Much deserved.
Oh, crying so hard for you.
I am so sad, and this letter?
Your friend will treasure it.
I am so sorry for the heartbreakingness of life.
So sorry.
I’m not sure I’m sending it yet. I may, but not for a bit. She knows she’s in my prayers – life is so fragile.
Things happen in our lives and in the lives of those closest to us that just plain suck. But there is nothing better to have a true friend with you through those hard times. Bobo is very lucky to have you in her life.
Hugs for you all.
Mo, you’re the best. I’m lucky to have her, too – I am. We’ve helped each other, this just happens to be my turn.
So sorry to hear of your friends loss. You did a wonderfully job with this letter and I truly hope she gets to read it.
I’ve got it saved, betting I send in a bit – I’m giving her some time, ya know?
I’m very sorry for your friend’s loss. I’m also confident your hand will be a welcome place when she reaches for it.
We’ll hold hands, and hug hard. I hope to see her next month…much needed visit.
My heart breaks for you and your friend. Sending you hugs, always.
Thanks friend. Very much.
Oh this is so very raw, girl.
I’m so, so sorry for your friend’s loss. And I’m so glad that she has *you!*
Such a beautiful and powerful reminder to not take our loved ones for granted.
Never.
xo
What a painful loss. I hope MK’s words reach her friend. Hugs to both of them.
MK always has the perfect words for pain. Really. That woman is like an angel. But I also know she has the words because she has been through so much pain and that just breaks my heart parts.
Love you, Kiss. You are a beautiful friend and human.
Whoa, that was hard to read. It instantly made me tear up. One of my biggest fears in life is losing my sister, Tonya. I used to have awful nightmares about it happening and how I would handle it. It’s not pretty at all.
I hate that because I lost my parents I am so understanding of grief and the pain that comes from it. I guess its a blessing and a curse all at the same time. I have been able to comfort and console many friends that have lost a loved one and I suppose that I am grateful for being able to have done that. Just make sure that you are there for your friend. All they need is to know that you are THERE for them when and if they ever need you.