I love Stasha. I love the fact that we are both mothers of boys (just one year apart) I enjoy her blog, The Good Life, her Monday Listicles (and try to participate as often as I can) and especially her gorgeous photography. I am so happy to have her here today with a message to her neighbor and in a way all of us: choose kindness.
Dear Man in Black,
I have never been afraid of anyone in my life. I know there are many different people roaming this Earth and not all are destined to be my friends. Some I might even dislike. But you MIB, downright frighten me.
You pass by our house every day. You walk with your steady, fast pace, glancing over our yard, shooting a disapproving look. You mutter something to yourself and every single time I feel like you hate us just a little bit more. You stand there and taunt my dog until he stands up and barks at you.
You never greet us back when I or my son say good morning. You pick on the neighborhood kids and you fight with their mothers. About children riding their bikes too fast or too slow, sledging on the road or on the sidewalk, smiling or laughing, being little and having fun.
You offend us with your words, your gestures, your outbursts. You report us to the town officials for our grass being too short, too long or possibly just right. You report our dogs for barking even if they don’t. You are walking around looking for a fight, for a reason to make someone else’s day as bad as yours.
I want to understand. Is there something that is hurting your heart so bad that you became bitter? Was there a moment in your life when you turned so mean, so scary? Does my smile and my warm hello upset you? Can a four year old boy waving at you really make you mad? Is your heart made of steel?
I would like to help you. This neighborhood of ours is a wonderful place. Men in our street are good men, veterans of wars. They love and provide for their families. They take pride in their homes. Us wives, we are friends. We support each other when our husbands are gone.
Our children are friends. They play and laugh outside because this is a safe place.
Our pets are well behaved. We love living here. This is our home. We are good neighbors.
You are a blessed man. Living in this wonderful place, surrounded by breathtaking nature and kind people. Why is that not enough? Why do you pick on the smallest detail? Why do you choose to see all the negative. And why are you poisoning us with your swear words? Why is life so bad for you?
I refuse to believe that a man is born like that. I choose to think there is a reason for you to act the way you do. Something that is out of your control, prompting you to scare us so much.
If you ever reply to my hello, smile of even look our way with kindness we will open our doors. There is a warm cup of tea and a pair of ears waiting to hear your story. Please choose kindness. We are so tired of being afraid of you.
Your neighbor up the road,
Stasha
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You my friend, Stasha, is the epitome of kindness. I’m sorry that your neighbor isn’t.
Thank you Alison. There’s always one…
Thank you so much Tonya. I love beig here on your lovely blog. I am so chugged you invited me xo
Chuffed. But apparently iPhone is not familiar with this word 🙂
I wish other people were as kind as you, Stasha. You are too sweet to deserve anything less.
Thank you so much Kimberly.
What? No one should ever pick on you, Little J or your dog!
Thank you Jen xo
JONHNY CASH LIVES IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD?
oh wait.
why does someone always have to be the Debbie Downer?
Sigh.
I wish he was Johnny…
Stasha…your heart is so big. I like giving people the benefit of the doubt too. Poor MIB doesn’t know what he’s missing out on. And certainly there must be reasons behind his actions. For his sake I hope he one day replies to your hello 🙂 In the meantime, I wish I were there to take you up on that offer of a cup of tea.
I feel sorry for the man in black. Sorry that he’s missing out on knowing an awesome woman like you Stasha. Sorry he doesn’t appreciate the beautiful place he lives or the kind people he lives near. He’s the one that should be sorry. I hope he comes around some day.
Your compassion is amazing, my friend. I wish you were my neighbor!
HUGS,
Terri
What a spooky character he is, but what a heart you have. Lovely letter, Stasha!
There’s one in EVERY neighborhood. Why are they so miserable? Ours lived next to us in our old place and she was so overwhelmingly awful we moved.
That is terrible Kim!they tried voting this chap out cause he lives in the over 55 community but no luck…
Well said! If only we could live our lives without these people or similar stresses beyond our control. I hope somehow he gets the message, Stasha!
P.S. Nice to see you here! 🙂
Thank you Sue. It is great to be here 🙂
Oh, Stasha, I am a on the other side of the country, far away from you and yet, your neighbor could be my neighbor. Why? Why are there people who can’t seem to be nice and strike fear in a mother’s and child’s heart? As they say, “slay them with kindness”… so we continue on, smile and wave and hope for a better tomorrow!
Truly hope so too!! My family uses that saying a lot too!!
Oh, man. I wonder what’s going on in his life to make him so sad? What happened to him? Because I’m sure that’s what it is: a sadness that turned this man dark somewhere along the way. 🙁
I think the same. But I could not find the right words to explain just how awful he is to us without sounding a bit like him…
Maybe he needs someone to take the stick out of his rear end.
Love it!
Wow, that letter blew me away. I agree, something happened to that man to make him this way but it still makes that type of person scary and really hard to deal with. So much compassion…lovely letter beautiful Stasha!
Thank you Anna. He walked by this morning wearing navy blue. Maybe there is hope. Or he ran out of black t-shirts.
Yikes! What is this guy’s deal? I agree that sometimes all we need is someone to listen to our story. Chances are that you won’t get that chance to talk to him but the offer is sweet.
Thank you Leah. I have almost given up hope on becoming his friendly neighbor.
Dear beautiful Stasha,
I too have no understanding of why people behave this was. I can only imagine that something terrible must have made them so bitter & mean; something that they cannot choose to forgive in order to free themselves and enjoy life. All we can do is smile & wave as we do and hope that one day, the kindness finally breaks that cold bitter heart.
You are such a beautiful soul. 🙂
it must be something so monumental that drives him to be so mean. Nobody can be born that bitter, right?
And thank you my sweet friend.
If everyone showed the kindness that you do, what a wonderful world it really would be!
Unless they are pinching my chocolate. We all have our limit…
Just kidding. Thank you Ally.
Wow. Truly an admirable heart you have! So often we dismiss those who are rude, but you are open and a lesson to us all. What a lovely letter of kindness.
My grandpa always said treat people the way you want to be treated. Maybe our neighbor wasn’t brought up with love like that. Or maybe he just really needs to pick a fight to make it through the day?!
Thank you Anne.
Melihat kehidupan Noli, Aira sentiasa bersyukur dilahirkan sebagai anak tunggal ayah dan emaknya. Dilimpahkan dengan harta yang banyak dan kasih sayang yang penuh, tidak berbelah bagi oleh kedua-duanya. Ya, dia memang bertuah terutama sekarang bila dia berjaya memiliki sekeping hati Adham Faiz. Dan, semakin beruntung kerana ayah dan ibu merestui mereka.
“Sebaik sahaja lelaki berambut perak itu menghabiskan kata-katanya Bank tersebut musnah diletup oleh bom yang turut meragut nyawa mereka yang berada di dalam bank itu dari kumpulan perompak hingga pelanggan dan pekerja bank yang tidak bersalah .
Khai tersenyum dan menggeleng. ??Tak, anak keempat!??
“Wa’alaikumsalam. Nabila, kau ok?” Zarif bersuara.
Tenang sahaja riak wajahnya ketika ayat itu dilontarkan dari mulutnya sendiri.Adakah dia sudah cukup bersedia dengan niatnya tadi?
“Aaron, macam mana? Kita nak fight tak projek Maxis tu?” soal Amir. Rakan kongsi merangkap CEO kepada Sector Surf Sdn Bhd.
“Kau taknak try couple dengan dia ke?” acuh tak acuh pertanyaan Mimi.
“Abang..Hanna harap kali ni ia berhasil bang. Hanna tak nak hampakan mama dan papa. Hanna akan dengar cakap mama. Hanna takkan lakukan benda yang boleh mengganggu keselamatan baby…”
***********
“Wow, you already here!” seseorang tiba-tiba menyergahnya dari belakang. Julan menjerit kecil, terkejut. Kin Ho yang baru turun dari tingkat atas berdiri di depannya, bercekak pinggang. Julan melihatnya dengan dahi berkerut. ‘Pelik, kenapa lelaki ini masih ada di sini?Aku yang datang awal ke, dia yang bangun lambat?’ soal
“Hah?Ermm…First agaknya..” jawab aku..Apasal dia orang yang pertama? Aku ingatkan Hakim yang first wish kat aku..Biasanya Hakim yang first.. Hmm…
“Err… telinga saya masih berfungsi dengan baik kan. Betul ke Datin tawarkan saya jadi host untuk satu program realiti?”
“Find one then.” Tauke Wong masih menyambung perbualan. Sudah sampai masanya untuk anak muda itu mencari isteri.
Maya Ellisa hanya membuntuti langkah Megat Andrian dari belakang. Apakah maknanya semua ini?
“Wasalam..”
hatinya. Segera dia menjawab panggilan itu.
“Baiklah. Aku akan kejutkan Min nanti. Sekarang, tidurlah.”
“Kat sebelah bilik nie, ada satu bilik untuk your clothes. Tengoklah kalau awak nak. Awak simpan semua baju awak kat sana. Pintu nie shortcut untuk awak ke sana.” Aidid menunjukkan pintu yang dimaksudkannya.
“Aahhh???.! Ni semua keje giler! Ko giler! Lepas tu ko libatkan aku pulak! Kata berlakon jadi awek aje. Tiba-tiba kena kawin pulak!” Jeritku. Lepas tau sapa dia, sapa aku, dan mengingat kembali ‘kenangan’ kami masa zaman sekolah, rasanya aku dah tak ada sebab untuk ber’saya-awak’ dengan dia. Automatic tukar!
Ikram ketawa. “Eleh, kau buat apa? Dari dulu, aku dok terkejar-kejar dia ni, bukan kau. Sori ya, Noli.” Katanya.