Kirsten of The Kir Corner and I have a lot on common. Not only do we both adore cupcakes, shoes and our sons, we are soul sisters in our struggle with infertility. She has provided me with so much love and encouragement through this crazy journey, I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to thank her.
Kristen is a wonderful writer, mother and friend. We connected through our writing initially (she blows me away in that arena by the way), but within two minutes of talking to her on the phone for the first time over six months ago, I knew I’d have a friend for life.
It is my honor to welcome Kristen here today sharing the sweetest letter to her husband. Let it serve as a tiny glimpse into her gigantic heart.
I love Tonya. She is a girl who makes my heart happy because she is such a wonderful human being. I was so happy when she told me that I could write for the Letters for You series and for months I thought about who I would choose to write to.
In the end it came down to LOVE.
Thank you, Tonya for sharing your space today. Getting to know you the past year has been such a sweet surprise and I feel so lucky to call you a friend. xo
Dear John,
It seems like such a cliché to pick you to write to, when I could be cute, creative or cunning with that choice. Yet, it only seems right that I write to you since you are really the one person I write to the least when in reality I should be scrawling words to you on your bathroom mirror, tracing your name in the sand and shouting to the world about how much you mean to me.
So a letter, here at Tonya’s place, it is.
I am a true believer in the magic of the words “I love you” and it makes me so happy that you and I say them often, to each other, to the boys and we mean them. Even when we fight, we come back to “I love you” and that is something I know we are lucky to have in one another.
But there are two other words that I have learned are just as important and somehow just as magical,
“Thank you.”
These two words can heal an ache, they can build a bridge, they can allow a light to shine into the darkness and they convey gratefulness for things, big and small, common and extraordinary.
So…
John, sweet, gentle, funny and patient man of mine, THANK YOU…
…for loving me in spite of myself.
…for believing in me even when I can’t find that acceptance in myself.
…for letting me sleep on Saturdays when a migraine or a flare presents itself, without anything but concern at the heart of it.
…for making eggs on Saturday mornings and feeding the boys, for taking the garbage and the dog out, for carrying the heavy bags and for staying at the mall far too long without complaint.
…for calling me on my bullshit and encouraging me to be a better person.
…for knowing my favorite color, my favorite TV shows and movies and that cupcakes and high heels make me happy…all these things as silly as they look on the outside are the heart of you and me, I know, deep down, you know me and you love me anyway. (Wink)
…for shielding me from the bad stuff, the bad news, and for taking it all in your heart so I don’t need to, for being stronger than I am in so many ways. Our life is far from perfect but when we catch each other’s eyes and share a moment, a private joke, a laugh that doubles us over, I know we’ll be okay as long as we’re together.
…for being the kind of father to Giovanni & Jacob you read about in fairytales. You amaze and amuse me every day with the way you show our sons how to be a man in this world. I could not have asked for a better role model for them.
…for going beyond yourself to give me things. Last week when you told me you had booked the hotel for our Listen to Your Mother weekend and I said “thank you” you responded with “a star needs to be treated like one.” My heart exploded with the kind of love you have for me.
…for surprising me, in every day, with the way love works and for reminding me that even when I am sure you don’t “See me” anymore, you do and you acknowledge that in so many ways from letting me write a November away for NaNoWriMo, or leaving you with the boys so I can go to lunch with my girlfriends, from encouraging me to do the IVF because, “you’ll be right beside me”, to “finish the book” to “honey, this audition is ‘all you’” .
…for being the CHEERLEADER in my life, the one who stands on the sidelines and takes no credit but deserves it more than anyone for all you do. For telling me I’m beautiful & smart and making me feel that way when I stand next to you.
…for all the FAITH you have. Belief in us, trust in the modern medicine that brought us Gio and Jacob, Conviction in the way we live our lives.
…and finally, thank you, in every moment of every day, for Choosing Me to spend your life with.
Sometimes I am sure I do not deserve the blessed, lucky life we lead, but THANK YOU for asking me to be your wife.
It’s been the greatest adventure of my life.
I love you honey,
xoxo
Me
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This is beautiful. I agree. Thank you is a very powerful thing. And this list of thank yous? It seems so complete, but I bet you could have gone on for hours.
HI Katie, thank you for coming over to read and you’re right of course, my list could go on and on. 🙂
Thank you is something that isn’t often said but needs to be heard more often. Beautiful letter, Kir. You are both so lucky to have each other.
HI 🙂
best advice my mom ever gave me, “say thank you to the people who deserve it most and hear it least”
I am pretty lucky and I try to remember that when the RANGERS are on and he ignores me. 😉 LOL
Oh Kir. This is so lovely!
I love to read stories and posts of love. Sometimes it seems like the internet is overrun with complaints about husbands instead of appreciation and love.
Cort and I have a thing where we tell each other at least once a day, “I appreciate you.” Sounds dumb, but when I am tired from working all day or being up with the baby or the little boy, those words mean a lot. Especially because I know Cort really means them.
Hi Katie.
I am so glad that you think about this the way I do too. “I appreciate you” is just as good as “thank you” , it shows that you SEE each other, that you are aware of the other in your space. I love knowing you do that too.
xoxoxo
Stop. Making. Me. Cry.
This is so beautiful Kir and what a wonderful husband you have.
Funny…our weeding song was “Thank You For Loving Me” by Bon Jovi.
Thank you is just as important. Xoxo
I don’t mean to make you cry…I swear I don’t. Plus you should be so mad at me for not stopping by lately, I am reading I SWEAR to God. You inspire and amaze me every single day.
love you girl! xox
(hope your recovery is going well)
He sure knows how to find ways big and small to show you that you are loved.
HI 🙂 thanks for coming over to read.
he really does and he knows when i need a break. It
s not all rainbows..we fight, we pick at each other, we forget that the other is just as important…but in those moments I pull myself back and say “THANK YOU…thank you for just being in this with me….I couldn’t do it without you.”
Every marriage needs appreciation as much as love…right?
For someone who has so much love to share around the blogosphere, it should not surprise us that you have such a pure and beautiful love that grounds you in those stiletto heels you rock so very well.
You are a gift to all of us sweet Kir, but you are a wise woman, who knows that her true gifts lie under her roof – and not in numbers and visits and other such nonsense.
And so I thank YOU for your friendship xxx
You made me cry. I don’t feel like a gift to anyone, but thank you so much for saying that. My true gifts are inside and in the heart of my blog world…even among all of you, I know that you don’t forget me (at least I hope you don’t) and that when I need you,you’re there. I feel the same way about my marriage..I look up and say THANK YOU…in true appreciation.
thank you…for being my friend. xoxo
It makes me happy to see this sort of love and appreciation for John and your relationship. Amidst the craziness that is life and childrearing and everything else in between, it can be easy to take our marriages for granted. It doesn’t surprise me that you don’t because your heart is just so big.
I know you have the same kind of relationship with your awesome hubby.
I do, I do take John for granted, and I don’t like myself those days, so I reel myself back in and say THANK YOU. I remind myself of the good stuff and write letters like this so that he knows I do “see him” as much as he ‘sees me”
hope you’re having a great day my friend. xo
Tonya , thank you so much for letting me be here today, for your lovely lovely words to me. You truly are a friend for life and that makes me feel LUCKY and happy. xoxox
The pleasure is all mine, my friend. Your letter is beautiful as so are you. xoxo
What a beautiful letter to the man in your life, Kir. I know I could (and should) write a very similar letter to my husband.
it’s really why I did it, I had such BIG PLANS for this letter, but when i came down to it, I knew that he deserved this letter, this thank you for being all he is on ordinary days to me. I’m glad it gave you that kind of thought….listen we aren’t always “perfect” but I do think that Thank you is so important.
thanks for coming over to read it.
The line below from your letter brought out all of the tears. That kind of love, appreciation and adoration is rare, Kirsten. It is something amazing! I’m 100% sure that you two are perfect for each other…in the good and the bad.
LOVE THIS BELOW!!!
“for going beyond yourself to give me things. Last week when you told me you had booked the hotel for our Listen to Your Mother weekend and I said “thank you” you responded with “a star needs to be treated like one.” My heart exploded with the kind of love you have for me.”
Marriage isn’t always EXCITING! and FUN! and PERFECT! but when it is, I hold tight to those times and that’s why I wrote this to remind him and myself that in everyday we do something extraordinary by being there for one another.
I’m so glad you loved this, I’m even more happy that you told me so, here in this space. THANK YOU xoxox
What I do for you lacks in comparison for all the things you do for me and the boys. I have a lot of catching up to do. 🙂 xoxoxoxo
I’d say you are both very lucky!
You are so sweet to visit and read this letter, John.
Your wife is amazing and loved so much in the blogging world. I am proud to call her a friend.
Such a sweet, sweet letter! John is a keeper. 😉
You are both such fabulous people – of course you’re meant to be together.
I need to thank my husband too – especially now 🙂