I am so humbled by the generous response to my new weekly feature, Letters For You that debuted last week and very grateful to Poppy of Funny or Snot for helping me kick off the series.
If you missed her heart wrenching letter to the lifeguard she credits to saving her daughter’s life, you can find it here.
This week, I am pleased to welcome Natalie of My Crazy Busy Life. Natalie helped her grandmother celebrate her 75th year recently and here is the birthday letter she gave her.
When Tonya asked me to contribute a letter for her new weekly series, I knew exactly what to send. While I had a close relationship with my grandparents, my paternal grandparents were the ones who actually raised me.
Last month, my grandmother celebrated her 75th birthday. I helped throw her a surprise party. We mailed invitations, ordered a cake and created a slideshow that celebrated her life. But what’s a party without presents? And more importantly, what do you buy someone who truly has it all? I followed the advice I’ve told my kids MANY times: I used my words. The following is a letter I wrote for her birthday.
Dear Mama,
One thing I’ve learned from you over the years is that our time here is limited. We never know how many days we will have or what our tomorrow may bring. So, as you celebrate your 75th year of being alive, I think it’s fitting to share with you a few of my thoughts. After all, there’s no better time like the present.
Children growing up often take their lives for granted. Children who are loved and nurtured naturally assume that there will be food on the table, a warm bed to sleep in and a lap for snuggles. That is, children make these blind assumptions IF their families are raising them in the way God intended.
I simply want to say thank you.
Thank you for giving me a home where I can be blissfully unaware of the outside world. For allowing me to assume that I will always have three square meals, a bed to sleep in and a hug when I needed it.
Thank you for caring for me all of the times I was sick and the countless bowls of chicken noodle soup you made on the nights I couldn’t sleep; for giving me a lap to be rocked in and arms that hugged even as I grew too big to crawl into that lap; you never turned me away. You simply adjusted in your chair to make room.
Thank you for telling me stories of not only your childhood, but the ones from my fathers, aunts and the rest of the family. Because of that, I’m blessed to know my history and where we come from. You shared the funny memories as well as the sad. I heard the struggles you faced not only as a wife and mother, but also as a woman. The strength I receive from that and from you is second to none.
Thank you for showing unconditional love AND setting rules and boundaries. I always knew you cared, but also when my behavior disappointed you. Because of how much you loved me, I never wanted to cause the disappointment. I came to strive to do my best because I wanted to make you proud.
The day came that I did disappoint you, but my deepest appreciation stems from one of our most difficult times.
Thank you for supporting me when I was pregnant at only 16. I truly do not know how it would have been possible without you. Having a baby in high school was certainly not a life I had planned, but it became a decision I have never regretted.
Thank you for supporting me in the beginning of the most important role of my love–being a mother.
As I watch my babies grow into kids and then ultimately young adults, I can truly appreciate all of the love I was shown when I was nothing but a kid myself. Not only do I understand the love, but the also the pain and disappointment. I am more sorry than you know for the hurt I caused; I was simply trying to do as you taught me; I wanted to find my own way as my own person.
Thank you for staying in your marriage for 55 years. The two of you have given our family a touchstone as pillars of strength. You taught me through your example that all relationships require work and that vows are promises meant to be kept. There will be bad times, but then we can truly enjoy the good ones. Because without thunderstorms, we wouldn’t have rainbows.
One of my favorite quotes is:
Two great things we can give our children: One is roots, the other is wings. – Hodding Carter
Thank you for teaching me the importance of the first and then giving me the courage to use the second.
With all of my love,
Natalie
xoxoxox
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Natalie…I love this post and it comes at a bitter sweet time for me. My brother in law’s grandma (who is like a grandma to me) just had a massive stroke and is laying in a hospital bed waiting to die.
My real grandma has cancer but they can’t find the source. I love your letter and most importantly, I love the thanks that you offer your grandma.
xo
Oh Rach.. I’m so sorry for you. Truly. I don’t know what I am going to do when the time comes for my grandmother. She’s the rock of our entire family.
Hugs!!
Saying “thank you” is so important, and the older I get the easier it is for me to say it to my mom and dad, and other family that helped make me who I am today. Beautiful Natalie!
The older I get, the more I realize how right my parents were. Especially now that I’m raising my own teenagers. Funny how that works isn’t it? And my own parents/grandparents are sitting back & literaly laughing their a$$es off at me.
They’ve told me so.
Oh Tonya how I love this series!!! It’s so poignant and good!
Hi Natalie..what a gorgeous letter to your amazing grandmother, to be able to look back and to put words to the gratefullness in your heart is such a lovely gift , not only for you grandma but for yourself too….to see all the things that helped shape you and the people who gave you the roots and wings. What a lovely celebration of those things!
When I was the hard-headed teenager, I couldn’t appreciate everything she did for me. Now that I have my own stubborn children in my house, I appreciate so many of the lessons she taught me.
Natalie, such a beautiful heartfelt letter to your grandmother. And the quote? Perfect.
Thank you… it really is one of my favorites.
First, your family has great genes. I hope I look that good at 75. How nice that you took the time to write something tangible – not just for her, but for your own children to see how you saw her.
I’ve had to argue with several people who didn’t believe how old she was. Would you believe she’s still the first person I call to babysit my kids? At 75 & 77, my grandparents are more active than many 20 somethings I know. My grandfather still works almost full time!
Oh, Natalie, this is so lovely.
Your love, admiration, respect, and loyalty shine through your words.
It’s safe to say that you are both blessed.
xo
We truly are very lucky to have her.. I hope she knows it.
Oh, that is beautiful. I was so close with my grandparents, but they are no longer here with us. This made me tear up. She is lucky to have you in her life.
I was truly blessed by being able to not only know both of my grandparents, but several of my Great Grandmothers. I actually lost my last one only 6 years ago.
I dread the day they are all gone. Truly. And I’m the lucky one.
Oh Natalie, this is so sweet…I knew that she has been such a help to you and such an important part of your life, and she will love this!
I mailed it the day after her birthday and kept waiting for her to call me in tears to tell me she got it. Do you know she had the letter for at least 3 days before she ever mentioned it!
That’s a beautiful letter, Natalie. How wonderful for you that as an adult you had this opportunity to express your gratitude and to apologize to the woman who raised you. Not everyone gets this opportunity. It sounds like she taught you well, and it sounds like you are passing those lessons on. Thanks for sharing this letter – it’s inspiring!
I love this post. Right now I am planning my grandmother’s 90th Birthday party next month. Grandmothers are so amazingly special. I cherish her dearly!
What a great letter to your Mama Natalie. Words truly are the best gift we can give.
This is beautiful. Sounds like she is a wonderful woman, and raised you right. What a blessing to have her in yoru life. Your letter is a beautiful gift to her.
So beautiful!
What a beautiful gift.
What a touching and sweet letter. How did Natalie’s Grandmother take it? I’m sure it had her in tears!!