I have been dreading writing about this because I haven’t got my head fully wrapped around it yet, so please bear with me and as always, any words of advice and/or comfort that you can offer would be greatly appreciated.
Shortly after my parents died, I was somewhat desperate to help my sister find a psychologist to help her with her grief and in the process contacted a doctor that I saw for a while leading up to and after my divorce from my first husband.
I still feel bamboozled by her receptionist when she asked me “what about you?”. To which, I of course replied, “what do you mean, ‘what about me’?”.
Before I knew it I was seeing the good doctor again once a week for almost a year, half a dozen times leading up to Lucas’ arrival and it’s now been eight months since my last appointment.
I need her again.
I am a big proponent of therapy. I believe working with a professional can help provide insight, support and new strategies for all types of life challenges. In the past it has helped me immensely and I am lucky to have a doctor that I trust and respect. Dr. K. is a family therapist and specializes in family and marital counseling, stress management and grief.
Since spring, I haven’t been myself and it’s time to do something about it.
I’m moodier than usual, short tempered, forgetful, disheveled, anxious and confused. I sound like a toddler, huh?
Depression is a real illness and while I have never been clinically diagnosed as “depressed”, I have a laundry list of reasons for why I might be. It could be because it’s October now, which is a hard month for being the anniversary of my parents deaths, if I’m, as I’ve shared before, still getting used to my (not so) new role of mother, if I’m struggling with my summer miscarriage, or more than likely a combination of all three and a bunch of other junk too. Whatever IT is, I don’t like feeling this way and I am anxious to get back in treatment.
I’m no good at “faking it” or keeping my feelings at bay. They come out in the strangest ways and don’t want my negativity to ever affect Lucas. Not to mention, I have too much goodness in my life to feel this way.
My first appointment is next week and I have two additional appointments after that. From time to time, when appropriate I’ll update you. In the meantime, your good thoughts are welcome. Let the self discovery and growth begin.
If you like words too, play along!This week’s word is bamboozled.
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Good for you. I am also a huge proponent of therapy. In fact, I had a session this morning. It turns out LOTS of us mommies have a hard time adjusting to the chaos that hit our lives post-baby. And some of us (me!) just plain old don't like the stay-at-home thing. I'm working out a plan for my life. I need to be happy again. It's dangerous over here these days.
Good luck! Hope you find the YOU you're looking for as well. 🙂
There was a time in my life when reached a point where I need to talk with someone. My psychologist truly turned my life around. He helped me to learn new strategies and how to let some things go. I truly believe that he helped me to rewire certain parts of my brain. 😉
Since then, I have had sessions here and there and I see them as tune ups…they help me to regain my strength and get pack on my path. I always find myself so much more at ease after my sessions.
I hope the same holds true for you.
I am sending you love and prayers.
While I dont have any words of wisdom, I do have empathy for what youre feeling. Been there myself except with me the biggest problem was OCD which brought about depression. It does get better.. that I promise. Perhaps your therapist can recommend you for medication therapy. When I finally relented to medication and it started working I wondered why I waited so long. I still get the usual 'tune ups' now and then.. but its not as bad as before.
Good luck to you… and if you ever need to talk.. shoot me an email midwesternmamah@gmail.com
You are so brave to share this and it just shows what a great mom, wife, sister, friend you are. Makig sure you are happy and healthy comes first. Therapy has helped me and most all of my friends and family at one time or another. I wholeheartedly agree it is very beneficial. Please know I'm here if you need anything. Sorry you are going trough a rough time. Ou will get through it. Lucas is very lucky to have such an amazing mom!
I don't like that your bamboozling is about something not-the-best. Good luck at your appointments, and I hope you figure it out soon!
Good for you, doing what you need to do for yourself to feel right. It took me a long time to not be sad about our miscarriage but every time I hear about someone else having one it brings up those feelings again and I cannot even imagine carrying that around AND dealing with the loss of your parents, which is a tragedy that I wouldn't wish on anyone. You may have a ton of goodness in your life but you have also had more than your share of crap. You are strong, you are brave and you are smart to seek out help if you feel you need it. I love you and if I can do anything to help you smile, let me know!
Good luck T. You're very brave to write about this. I'm sure the therapist will help you feel better. I think you're doing the best thing for yourself. All my good thoughts go out to you. I'm here for you if you need me. xoxo
Good for you for taking care of you! I hope you are able to get what you need & there is NOTHING wrong with seeking help – for anything!!
much love.
Honestly, I'm also very pro-therapy. It takes courage to actively seek change and confront our own ideas. Also, I think that your seeking help will benefit your family, especially your son. One of the reasons I go to therapy is to make sure I'm not passing down certain thought patterns (perfectionism, anxiety) to my own children. As their mother, I want them to be comfortable in their own skins, but it's hard to teach children how to do that if I'm not comfortable myself.
I wish you the very best as you move forward. Not that a stranger's approval matters, but I really respect that you are being proactive and open about your experiences. 🙂
Good for you that you're aware you need a tune-up. Hope you're feeling more yourself again soon.
This is very brave of you to blog about. And just from browsing a little through some of the comments, it looks like everyone understands exactly what you are going through. I am sorry that this summer has been so rough on you. I hope your upcoming sessions go well. Just know that I am always here for you. Always. I love you. XOXO
You are very brave to put this out there, but I hope that you are seeing how much love and support we all have for you! I am behind on my blog reading, and as I'm catching up tonight I have gone from most recent to older…so sorry I am just seeing this now.
Sending love to you, Tonya, and I'm glad you are doing this…for yourself and your family.
Glad you're doing what you need – there is no shame in it.