My husband travels for work a lot. He takes at least 14 business trips per year, most of them only lasting two to three days. Tomorrow is leaving for a whole week.
Usually I have my sister or mother-in-law come visit so that they can help me out, but this time, I’m going to do it all alone. I know what you’re thinking… I’m crazy, right? You’re probably right.
I do have 10 hours of nanny help each week as it is, but beyond that I have some fun things planned for Lucas and me to do, so we (I) should be okay. Of course, I did wake up this morning with a sore throat and now my head feels like it’s going to explode, I’m so stuffed up, but I’ll be okay. I’ll let you know how I’m holding up in a couple of days.
Back to my husband traveling… every time he goes away, he mails Lucas a postcard from wherever in the world he may be. It’s better than having him buy some awful overpriced trinket at the airport and so much more thoughtful. When the postcards arrive (usually after Todd has returned home), I read them to Lucas and them promptly display them on the memo board in Lucas’ bedroom. The notes are sweet, mean a lot to me and I know someday will mean a lot to Lucas too, or will he just be bitter that his dad traveled so much when he was an infant?
At 14 months, Lucas doesn’t seem to really notice when daddy is away for an extended period of time, but he does look around for him and starts asking for him around 5:30 each evening and gets very excited whenever he sees his picture pop up on my phone, when Todd calls me.
For those of you with small children and spouses that travel, how are you teaching your child(ren) to stay connected to the parent that is away? Phone calls? Skype? iChat? I feel like it’s only a matter of time before this becomes a potential problem. I appreciate your insight and any advice you can offer.
I’m off to find some NyQuil.
The best is yet to be.
Natalie says
Oh, that's gotta be hard. Hubby works a crazy schedule, and Tater always asks for him. But he always comes home. I bet it's hard for you when he's gone!
Sherri says
That takes me back to when my son was young, and my hubs probably traveled about as much as yours. Only a few days at a time, but those days can be loooong with a baby/toddler and no break. These were pre-skype days, too, so we only had phone calls. I always tried to plan some fun things, sometimes that took us the better part of a day, to make the day go faster!
I think the postcards are sweet, and would make a fun little book when he gets older. They show that Daddy is thinking of him. Hang in there!
Leah says
Sorry I won't be able to come to help you out this week. I am sure that you and Lucas will be great though. Please call me if u need a breather!
Sophie Eschenlohr says
I hope you get better soon so that you can make the most of your week with Lucas. Luc travels much less than Todd – he's off again part of next week though : ( He doesn't send postcards because I think he doesn't know what to write ; ) Ha ha ! Nasty me!
I find it very sweet of Todd to send those cards to Lucas. Lucas will treasure them.
However, Luc is away from 7h30 to 19h30 (or later) everyday. He barely gets to see the girls in the evening, unless I call him and ask him to come home because I'm going nuts!!!
He makes the most of them on the w.ends and I get to get some "on my own time".
I think skype could be a good solution. BTW, we need to try one of these days : )
I think Todd is a really good Daddy and I'm sure that even if he travels a lot, Lucas will be just fine. Lucas has such an INCREDIBLE Mama.
I think the secret is to find the right balance. We're still working on that.
I know that I'm very lucky to be able to be SAHM. Ok, some days I'd love to be back in an office and work 60 hours a week (that's been my time with the girls from Monday to Friday for the last 6 years), but in the whole, I find that it's great to be able to be with my kiddies.
Good luck for this week. I wish I lived closer because I'd love to be able to share some time with you and Lucas. I'm sure you'll be fine!
If you feel like skyping, please do!
I love you, friend! xoxo
Gigi says
I think you will find that children are incredibly resilient, and incredibly forgiving. They don't WANT to resent or be angry at their parents. Lucas won't know anything but what is "normal" for your family – and that is that your hubs travels. And he will be grateful and maximize the time he does have with him.
I hope the week passes quickly!
liz says
the postcard is a cute idea! i have a husband who travels, but i never really have done a regular tradition like you. usually kate will just talk on the phone, or if he isn't available, she leaves him a message. obviously, lucas is too young for that. 🙂
Megan says
Actually, I don't think he's too young to "talk" on the phone to his Daddy. I was a work week widow for six months while we were trying to sell our house in one part of the state, and my husband's job required him to be three hours away at his new job. He would drive home on weekends. Meanwhile we developed a routine that at 6:30 pm every evening he would call and talk to our three girls. I would hold the phone to our baby's ear while her daddy would coo at her for a few minutes. It made it so that even 'tho she didn't see Daddy all week, she would squeal in delight when she heard his voice come in the door on weekends.
I've done the same thing ('tho not on any kind of schedule) with their grandparents who live in another state, and my now 2-year-old daughter has regular conversations with her grandparents (not that they understand everything that she says.) And it makes a huge difference in the girls comfort level during their yearly in-person visits.
And I LOVE the postcard idea!
Coma Girl says
My husband also travels for work (about 1-2 times a month) and our 4yo and I skype with him while he's gone. It's great!
KLZ says
I love the postcard idea. I may have to steal that if David gets this new job.