I have been reluctant to write about this, but it is time to come clean…
We have hired a nanny.
For the purposes of this blog, I will call her Angel, because in my eyes, that’s what she is to me. Angel helps me care for you for five hours a day, two days a week and she has been working with us for a month.
Whew, that wasn’t so hard.
Before you judge, (that’s my defensive, inner critic/guilty conscience speaking) I feel like a big fat loser/fraud/incompetent mother for having her. After all, I don’t work and since June my sole job has been to stay at home and raise you. I am proud of this role and have never been happier, but it’s the most challenging position I have ever held and I felt as if I was slowly losing myself before I admitted that I needed help. In short, I am a better mother because of Angel.
Ideally, stay at home moms choose to stay home (like I have) and in a perfect world, we’d all have smiles on our faces, never complain and enjoy every moment we are home with our little tike(s), but being a stay at home mom is a full-time, 24-hour a day job, even with a hands on partner, like your dad. I am the mommy and that role is very different; it’s everything. As Mommy, you are always “on”. You don’t get a lunch break, two week vacation, weekends off or sick days. Of course, there are exceptions and there are mom’s hiring nannies to care of their kid(s) because they just don’t want to, and that’s a whole different issue altogether.
Having a nanny for a few hours every week is an absolute luxury and one that I am lucky to be able to afford. I don’t believe I am a bad mother to care for myself or need a break, in fact, having Angel makes me better mentally and physically. I have been able to go to two doctor’s appointments, grocery shop, have a nice long (uninterrupted) lunch with a friend and go to the gym..three times!
I believe that motherhood is the most important job a woman will ever undertake in her lifetime. It is the one job that will give her satisfaction of mind, body, heart and soul. I also believe that no other person can raise my son with as much love as I can, but I am blessed to have these 10 hours a week to recharge.
The best is yet to be.
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Don't feel guilty for hiring help. If you work or if you stay home, you need to own what you do. It is your choice and neither need to be justified as long as you and your family are happy, healthy and thriving.
Well said Coreen.
Seriously, Tonya, stop feeling bad about hiring Angel. Like you said in this post, she is making you a better mother, physically and mentally. You didn't have to post this but I am proud of you for doing so. You are saying, nope, I am not perfect and I'd like a little help two days a week with my son. And if anyone judges you for this, then screw 'em!
I'm not going to lie, no matter how much I love Lucas, I have LOVED getting a full night's sleep every night since I got home. I am sure that you have enjoyed your nights more now too since Todd got home. : )