Letters For Lucas

Wonders, Mishaps, Blunders and Joy.. commentary on my life as a mom in the form of letters to my son

Speechless

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I knew it would happen at some point, but I wish I had been more ready for it, more prepared. Someone told me off while leaving a restaurant today because Lucas’ fussing apparently “ruined her lunch”.

My sister, my friend, her three month old son, Lucas and I and were at lunch today and although we met on the early side (just before noon) and had a great table towards the front of the restaurant and in a corner with no one siting near us, both of the babies took their turns being loud and a bit out of sorts. As we like to say, if it’s not one of them, it’s the other. Mine, admittedly more so than the three month old, because as I have mentioned, he has discovered he has a voice and that by using it he can get more attention.

My sister and I played “pass the baby” and played, fed, engaged and entertained Lucas as much as we possibly could and for the most part, I didn’t think he was being too terrible or any louder than usual. As a new mommy, I am still VERY sensitive to every noise he makes in public and try to minimize his volume as best I can. I can’t even barely stand it when he screams out or fusses, why would anyone else?

We each had an entree and a cocktail and were in the establishment for maybe an hour and a half. We caught up and exchanged holiday gifts and had a very nice time until we got up to leave when a woman from across the room yelled out; “Thanks ladies, you ruined our lunch”. I can only assume she was referring to our babies and their noises and I was completely shocked and wasn’t sure if I had heard her correctly. My sister said, “Excuse me?” and she repeated the statement, to which I then said very snidely, “It was my pleasure.”, which I now realize was a lame come back, but I was so speechless. Who says something like that?! Oh, I know, someone who is either too selfish to have children of her own or who believes in the philosophy that children are to be seen and not heard, which is completely ridiculous. Whatever the case may be, it was out of line and rude and I am still in shock! I am also angry. Angry that I let it upset me so much, angry that I am going to be even more sensitive the next time I go out to eat and angry that people like that woman exist in this world. Where is her empathy, sympathy and compassion?

The best is yet to be and next time, I’ll have a better reaction and response.

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Comments

  2. Ridiculous….I can't stand people like that…I am glad you at least said something..people can be so RUDE! i am glad you enjoyed your lunch with your sister, that is what the holidays are all about!

  3. That is unbelievably rude and you did the right thing by responding simply and leaving gracefully. Obviously that woman has her own issues to yell across a restaurant. I am sure that Lucas was just acting his age and did not actually ruin anyone's lunch.

    I've only had one encounter with two rude women, in a Starbucks located inside a Barnes & Noble. It was not crowded, nor is it a place that one expects silence or privacy. Mattias was a little over a year and decided to meltdown as I was paying for coffee, I had been holding him but he was doing the tantrum flail so I set him on the ground so he could wiggle it out while I grabbed my cup o'joe. As I picked him up to carry him to the car, two much older women started to say how unruly he was, blah blah blah. I just looked at them and said “give me a break, you were his age once too and I doubt you were perfect” and just walked away.

    But it sucks that people put moms in a situation where they need to defend themselves and their kids actions, especially when most of the time the kids are NOT misbehaving, but just acting their age. And if you keep kids locked away all the time, how will they ever learn social skills? I've lunched with you and Lucas and trust me, he is a dream baby! I'll be seen in public with the two of you any time! 🙂

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Trackbacks

  1. […] I did the first and only other time a restaurant patron said something out of line directly to me (Speechless, December 2009), I simply said, “I didn’t ask you.”, to which she mumbled something about […]

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