Before I got pregnant I used to think no matter how many children I had or how busy my life got, I would make it look effortless. My children and home would always look immaculate, well-groomed and put together. I would always look well-groomed and put together, just like I always had. Why would/should that change just because I had a couple of rug rats?
Don’t get me wrong, I am not claiming to be perfect, but I foolishly thought even with children, I would never go without a shower, lunch, or brushing my teeth. A trip to the post office on the corner would never be “too much hassle”, my work outs would become more frequent and more intense, I would always have time for my husband, family, friends, my twice-a-month nail appointments, and would continue to finish my book club book way ahead of schedule; I would still send greeting cards to friends for no reason at all and be witty and clever in all adult conversations; our dish washer would never be full and refrigerator always stocked. I mean, after all, how hard could it be to go to the grocery store with a newborn? Essentially I would still have time for everything. I would find time to do it all. I would be Superwoman!
Ha! Boy, was I in for a very rude awakening! Once you have a child, EVERYTHING CHANGES and your time is no longer your own. No more living selfishly. Priorities change because they have to. Case and point, there have been several days when you went through three or four onesies while I remained in my jammies ALL. DAY. LONG. I’m not proud of this in the least bit, but it is the reality of being a new mom and I am slowly but surely getting my head wrapped around that; I’m coming to terms with the fact that I can’t be Superwoman.
Now, I tackle only the bare minimum on my “To Do” and what doesn’t get done, doesn’t get done. I am learning how to live with that new reality. If I don’t get to take a shower every day, at least I put on deodorant, I am realizing the value of “date night” through the use of babysitters and I make a point of catching up with friends on the phone during our daily hour long walks. I don’t think I’ve missed any one’s birthday or any other super significant events…yet. I still have 15 thank you cards to send (if you are reading this and you haven’t received one yet, I’m sorry and you will get one…eventually), but I’m doing the best I can, I’m doing it with love and that is everything.
The best is yet to be.
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A mother is she who can take the place of all others but whose place no one else can take.
-Cardinal Mermillod
I cannot forget my mother. Though not as sturdy as others, she is my bridge. When I needed to get across, she steadied herself long enough for me to run across safely.
-Renita Weems