Letters For Lucas

Wonders, Mishaps, Blunders and Joy.. commentary on my life as a mom in the form of letters to my son

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My Candidate

Posted on November 9, 2016 Written by Tonya

It is the day after the 2016 Presidential election and I am sad, shocked, confused, and very worried for our country.

I know I’m not alone.

The candidate I voted for, researched, supported, donated money to, believed in and admired did not win.

My candidate is tough as nails.

My candidate has withstood a constant barrage of hatred, vilification, smears, and mudslinging for 25 years. Republicans blame her for everything!

I was able to look past my candidate’s flaws and scandals. I saw a person who has spent much of her life fighting for causes that are important to me; family values, children, education and equality for ALL, especially women and minorities. She has been a champion for advancing equal opportunities for women and girls in America and around the globe, calling women’s empowerment “one of the great causes of my life.”.

This is who I want in the White House. Electing our first woman president would be an important step to ending gender inequality. And now that I am the mother of a daughter, this is imperative.

More than ever.

This country is so full of hate.

lolaforpresident

I still believe.

My candidate impressed me with her intellect, judgment, and compassion. We all know the mess she endured because of her husband’s infidelities. That was not her doing. She tried to protect her family as best she could and in the end, perhaps having her own political agenda and dreams of leading our nation from the Oval Office, stood by her man.

I took Lola with me yesterday when I went to vote bright and early and snapped a photo outside my polling location, an elementary school within walking distance of our home. Elated to finally see a woman’s name on the ballot, I proudly voted for my candidate with my daughter at my side.

I was not expecting to be emotional but I cried anyway.

I cried tears of joy because I thought we had come so far and not since Barack Obama have I cared this much about politics.

I voted for Obama in 2008 while pregnant with Lucas and rejoiced at his win while at a Madonna concert at Petco Park. That was a magical night.

Watching Decision 2016 unfold on NBC as polls closed across the country  I was thrilled to see the many blue states light up. I thought my candidate had it in the bag.

I was wrong.

So many of us were wrong.

Today I believe more than half of our country is made up of ignorant ass hats.

But I digress.

As I try to honor the outcome of the election and make sense of this America we live in, I will continue to teach my children, my sweet innocent children love, kindness and tolerance. I will teach them that ALL lives matter and to use their voice. Loud and often!

Donald Trump is going to be our president.

And as Secretary Hillary Clinton said this morning in her concession speech, “we owe him an open mind and the chance to lead”.

This is really happening.

And it will be interesting to say the very least.

——————————————————

The following is from The Huffington Post article, America Elected A Man Who Said ‘Grab Them By The P***y’ Over The First Female President:

Donald Trump openly bragged about using his celebrity status to sexually assault women. And multiple women accused him of actually doing so.

He said he was in favor of banning people from entering the United States based on their religion.

He believes that women he finds physically unattractive or overweight are lesser people.

He thinks that many Mexican immigrants are rapists.

He mocked people with disabilities.

He encouraged violence against protesters at his political rallies.

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Filed Under: a mother's guilt, annoyances, controversial topics, current events, family, inspiration, loss, milestones, motherhood, parenting, potty training, pregnancy2, question, raising girls, twitter, update, video, vote, wordless wednesdays, work, working mom, worry Tagged With: a mother's guilt, annoyances, controversial topics, current events, election, family, Hillary Clinton, inspiration, loss, milestones, parenting, politics, raising girls, vote, women, worry

The Wedding

Posted on October 5, 2016 Written by Tonya

August 27, 2016

The Bride.

She looked beautiful without a doubt, perfect Victory Rolls in her hair and pin-up style makeup, but what stood out most was her assuredness. She truly had a confidence about her I have never witnessed before.

She was comfortable. And it set the tone for the day.

Comfortable with being a bride, ready to walk down the aisle and very much ready to be married.

The Dress.

The style of Leah’s dress fit with the decor of the gorgeous venue; a strapless A-line cut to the knee that she added a tulle halter neckline to and was covered in beautiful beads. A midnight blue sash sat snug around her middle. She wore sensible blue suede shoes to match and changed into adorable Mrs. Brungardt flip flops at the end of the night.

The Venue.

Just a few short blocks from the hotel we stayed at, the Oviatt Penthouse is in an Art Deco style high rise designed in the late 1920’s. The building is a Los Angeles treasure. Although a bit musty and dank, taking the wood paneled elevator to the top floor was like stepping back in time. The walls of Mr. James Oviatt, popular haberdasher held secrets and much of the penthouse was off limits. Signs warning, “do not touch” were displayed in several places. The original fixtures were delightful, especially the ones in Mr. Oviatt’s bedroom; his dressing table and antique lamps, the lime green tiled sauna in his bathroom, tiny sinks and other toiletries.

The LA skyline was the star of the evening and much to our surprise it turned out to be a very cool evening, in fact heat lamps had to be brought out by the nights end.

Leah put a lot of work (and Etsy purchasing) into planning a perfect wedding day and small significant details chosen with love were used on the dinner tables; delicate paper flowers made out of old maps were part of the centerpieces, personalized thank you notes were tucked into each guest napkin, small chalk boards described the signature drink, (purple lemonade) and directed people where to go and what to do. Every song played by the DJ had a love theme.

The Bouquet.

Leah painstakingly made her own bouquet after seeing a friends. A round globe about the size of a volleyball covered in trinkets and special items representing her and Aaron’s lives together and mementos of those around her; a penny minted the year our parents were married, a Thomas the train cupcake topper, Lego and many of our elementary school teacher mom’s colorful earrings. I’d like to think the Corona Light bottle cap was a nod to me. It’s a unique piece of art!

The Guests.

Months earlier when lamenting over her guest list, the names on their A and B lists, I gently reminded Leah that everyone that should be present, would be and that a good rule of thumb was if she hadn’t looked someone in the eye in a year or less, she might want to reconsider inviting them. She took my advice in some cases and not in others, which resulted in last minute cancellations and disturbing texts from friends who could not attend.

Undeniably her guests, the ones who did attend, each and every one sang her and Aaron’s praises. Leah is so very loved and has built a network of friends that have become family over the years.

The Sister of the Bride

I had the distinct honor of spending the entire day with Leah, beginning with breakfast, just the two of us and then giving her away a little before 7:00 that evening.

It was over mimosas (and bacon) at Bottega Louie that I shared the toast I would give that night. I was worried about it being too melancholy and knowing it was going to be an emotional day, I wanted her to hear it first, to prepare her in some small way. I had struggled so much to find the right words in the weeks leading up to this monumental occasion.

We cried and laughed and then cried some more. And then ordered another mimosa!

Someday I’ll share the words I read with trepidation, shaking hands and a lump in my throat the night of my sister’s wedding here.

givingawaythebride

Thank you, Tracy for capturing this shot. I adore it! xo

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Filed Under: aunt leah, family, friends, love, memories, milestones, siblings, wedding Tagged With: #LandAwedinLA, aunt leah, family, friends, love, memories, milestones, photos, siblings, wedding

Bassinets, Cribs & Sleigh Beds

Posted on September 29, 2016 Written by Tonya

~ I wrote this August 23, 2016, but I don't get around here very much anymore. ~ From the window of my walk-in closet I watched a man my husband works with pick up Lola's crib and mattress from our front porch, load it into his van, and drive … [Continue reading]

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Taking Care Of Business

Posted on August 10, 2016 Written by Tonya

It's a leap of fate starting a business, there is also a very, very steep learning curve and things pop up almost daily that you never thought would. Decisions to be made, records to keep, documents to create, meetings, brainstorming sessions, … [Continue reading]

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My Second Child

Posted on August 8, 2016 Written by Tonya

It's true what they say about second children, they totally get the shaft. There's fewer photos, less fanfare surrounding milestones, they tend to fend for themselves on occasion, enjoy the snot out of all the hand-me-downs and are inadvertently … [Continue reading]

Filed Under: blog, happy thoughts, love, memories, milestones, motherhood, parenthood, photos, siblings, silly, simple joys Tagged With: blog, happy thoughts, love, memories, milestones, motherhood, parenthood, photo, siblings, silly, simple joys

Happily Ever After

Posted on July 27, 2016 Written by Tonya

This is a very exciting time in our family and most definitely in my sister's life. It has been months of preparation, list creating and guest building, taste testing and over analyzing, decision making and expenses and much celebration. One … [Continue reading]

Filed Under: aunt leah, grief, KRA, loss, milestones, MSA, wedding Tagged With: aunt leah, grief, KRA, loss, milestones, MSA, wedding

The Facts Of Life

Posted on April 9, 2016 Written by Tonya

I haven't blogged all year. There have been 100 days in 2016 and I haven't posted a single thing. Until today. I write to process and over the last two weeks there has just been too much. So today I have to write. On March 29 my good … [Continue reading]

Filed Under: death, difficult subjects, family, friends, life, spring break, take flight Tagged With: death, difficult subjects, family, friends, life, Orme, spring break, take flight

The Last Email

Posted on December 29, 2015 Written by Tonya

My In Box is always a disaster. Several years ago, in an effort to help out Mother Nature, I sat with a enormous pile of paper catalogs and called each and every company and asked them to remove me from their snail mail list and send me e-mails … [Continue reading]

Filed Under: Avery and Austin, facebook, friends, grief, loss, memories, MSA, TBW Tagged With: Avery and Austin, email, facebook, friends, grief, loss, memories, MSA, TBW

For Now

Posted on December 15, 2015 Written by Tonya

The world is a scary place. And it is getting scarier everyday. Just this morning, The Los Angeles Unified School District shut all schools after receiving a "rare threat" from an overseas email account. Sometimes I stand over my sleeping … [Continue reading]

Filed Under: a mother's guilt, conversations with Lucas, current events, quotes Tagged With: a mother's guilt, conversations with Lucas, current events. quotes

Done! – NaBloPoMo

Posted on December 10, 2015 Written by Tonya

So much for owing myself six more consecutive NaBloPoMo posts. Agh!! Well, I tried. This time of the year is so rough with lengthy to do lists, shorten tempers and trying to squeeze it all in. Just this past week was crazy! We got our tree, the … [Continue reading]

Filed Under: blog, challenges, list, NaBloPoMo, question, writing Tagged With: blog, BlogHer, challenges, list, NaBloPoMo, question, writing

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