Letters For Lucas

Wonders, Mishaps, Blunders and Joy.. commentary on my life as a mom in the form of letters to my son

Somebody Pinch Me!

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Jimmy Fallon and his wife recently welcomed a daughter and revealed that they spent years trying for a baby before it finally happened via surrogate and I love what he shared with Savannah Guthrie on The Today Show…

I know people have tried much longer [than we have], but if there’s anyone out there who is trying and they’re just losing hope, just hang in there. Try every avenue; try anything you can do, ’cause you’ll get there. You’ll end up with a family, and it’s so worth it. It is the most ‘worth it’ thing.

So perfectly put.

After throwing everything we have at our secondary infertility and it has been a very long three year battle, my husband and I are finally expecting a baby! 

I shared our amazing news on Facebook and Instagram today and I am touched by the out pouring of love and congratulations. So many of our family and friends and wonderful people I have met through blogging and sharing our tale have been rooting for us and supporting us throughout this difficult journey. Part of me still doesn’t believe it! I keep waiting for someone to pinch me.

If you have been reading my blog for any length of time or know me IRL, then you know I keep track of everything, so I wanted to share this list.

I share it, not as a formula for how to have a baby if you or someone you know is struggling with infertility and by no means as a way of comparing what we went through versus what you may be experiencing, I’m sharing it because as a society, we need to talk about this disease more and everything that it encompasses; the ups, the downs and all the challenges and in between. This is a topic that I am very passionate about and I believe always will be. 

After…

Tens of thousands of dollars spent,
95 Four Square check ins to my fertility doctor’s office, 
45 (and counting) acupuncture sessions,
16 failed natural cycles,
12 therapy sessions (a mixed blessing of discomfort and insight),
10 RESOLVE support group meetings,
6 Facebook support groups,
5 miscarriages,
3 friends who kindly gave me shots when Todd was out of town, 
3 failed IUIs,
2 D&Cs
2 OBGYNs,
2 acupuncturists,
2 reproductive endocrinologists,
2 failed IVF cycles,
2 2AM 24-hour drug store drive-thrus for syringes,
2 needle/hazardous materials spills in my car,
2 visits to a psychic,
1 major meltdown in the baby aisle at Target,
1 trip to the ER,
1 participation in a panel discussion on infertility,
1 infertility column,
1 amazing team of doctors, who I could never thank enough,
a library worth of books on infertility collected and read, and
countless doctor visits HOURS spent sitting in waiting rooms, blood drawls, ultrasounds, angry phone calls to our health care providers, prescriptions filled, pills popped, herbs choked down, shots in the abdomen and ass, boxes of Mucinex taken (don’t ask), negative pregnancy test results, bottles of wine consumed, heated discussions over finances and priorities, prayers and wishes made and tears shed, (so many tears).

After all this, I am smiling from ear to ear, grateful for this moment and overjoyed to share this perfect photo:

photo

I refused to give up the fight.

I would not give up hope.

I could not squelch the longing.

I believed in miracles.  

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Comments

  3. *HAPPY DANCE*
    “WORTH THE WAIT!!!!!!”

    you know that my heart is bursting with yours, that this news is incredible, miraculous, HOPEFUL and that I love you and your family (every single one of you!)

    xoxo

    • I am so very happy for you! I’ve known so many people with secondary infertility and my heart soars when they finally have their hard work and prayers come to fruition. Hugs and smooches to your family!

  4. I can’t say how happy that I am for you and your family. I can’t imagine the journey that you’ve traveled to get here but at moments like this it all seems worth it.

    And that is the most perfect looking baby I have ever seen!

    Congratulations.

  9. I am beyond thrilled for you and your family, Tonya! So many happy congratulations and can’t wait to meet Lucas’ little baby sibling soon. xoxo

    • Ha! I don’t know why I said that. Maybe I just hope you’ll have a girl? Regardless of whether the baby is a he or she, I’m so happy for your family.

  15. So long, so difficult, so worth it! Yea times tens of thousands. You have inspired, many I’m sure who are about to give up, to keep trying. You’re amazing and we love you.

  17. You truly are living proof of a miracle!!! Congratulations!! It took so much to get to here – I wish you much health and blessings as you begin this new chapter!

  21. I saw this on Pinterest today, of all random places, and just wanted to pop over and add my congratulations. I am SO SO very thrilled for you. Congrats, Tonya.

  23. Wow, that is quite a list. But now, here you are so it must have all been worth it. I am sorry that it took so long and so many tears shed to get you here though. While I haven’t been going through it exactly with you and like you have been of course, but I have been there with you and I’ve seen it take a tole on the family. So I couldn’t be happier for you. And you know how true that is. 🙂 XOXO

  25. Masa berehat adalah masa yang amat dinanti-nantikan oleh Adam… Belajar baginya amat memeningkan kepala… Apatah lagi belajar dalam ijazah , dan bukannya diploma… Semakin tinggi tahap pelajaran itu semakin sukar baginya untuk dicapai.. Tetapi berkat keazaman yang kuat , dia pasti berjaya…

Trackbacks

  2. […] It wasn’t as though we hadn’t been trying to conceive, we just weren’t trying very hard, in other words, we weren’t taking my temperature, pumping my body full of injections, marking days off on a calendar or any seeking assistance from a reproductive specialist. That would come with baby #2! […]

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