I have never hit anyone in my life.
A good friend pushed me in college because I was dancing with a boy she supposedly liked and I pushed back and another time, I slapped a guy for being crude, but that has been the extent of my physical altercations.
I don’t even know how to make a proper fist.
But believe me when I say that I would go full on Fight Club on Infertility if we ever met in a dark alley.
It wouldn’t even need to be dark.
Or an alley.
She could be walking out of a 7-Eleven in the broad daylight and I would kick her ass beyond recognition.
Any battle ground will do.
I just want to meet her one day and have my way.
I want to beat that bitch to a bloody pulp and show absolutely zero mercy.
She wouldn’t either.
I know this for a fact.
Infertility and I are enemies of the worst kind.
I would relish hearing bones crack and draw pleasure from wiping away my own blood from my mouth with the back of my hand. I would spit it right in her face.
It would be a heart pounding workout like I have never experienced, throwing blow after blow, advancing and retreating with more power and strength each time.
This would be no cat fight, no pussy hair pulling or nail scratching, what would be the point? I want to do real damage, full frontal contact with loud, hard shots square to the jaw and the ribs. I want to feel our legs and arms tangled.
Duck, kick, twist, punch, repeat.
Sweat and spit flying.
Deep guttural screams.
The loudest thing in my head, besides the ringing in my ears would be the cheers of encouragement from the dozens of women I personally know and countless others, I don’t, who wish they had gotten to her first.
Even though I could go at it for days, eventually we would both reach a point when we had had enough, but just when she’d think I was surrendering, I would muster the strength from a place deep down inside my soul and go after her one last time and bring her to her knees once and for all.
When it was over, I would sit down on the hard gravel, wince from the pain and though tears I didn’t think I had left would ask, “why?”.
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I read this post as part of the inaugural Sacramento Listen To Your Mother show in May 2013. You can view it here.
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Oh yes, please kick her a time or two for me. 6 years of “unexplained” infertility. 6 years of hating my body. Yeah….maybe give her a punch for me too…I’m sorry you are in that place too. It sucks and I pray you beat it. Much love. xo
Yes! I’ll throw in a couple of extra hard elbow jabs for you.
Six years? Oh, that kills me. I’ve only been at it for two and I’ve almost (ALMOST!!) given up.
Wow, that was powerful. I’m so sorry, Lady. I wish I could kick her ass for you while you took video and uploaded it to http://www.effyou.com. That baby is going to make it here through blood, sweat and tears, but he’s coming. And he sure is going to be loved
Thank you, Shelby. I appreciate your support and understanding. It would most definitely be the most watched video on YouTube too! 😉
Oh, my friend. I’d be right there beside you throwing punches. Sending love and keeping hope. xo
Thank you dear friend. I might need back up.
Yes! I would be right by your side…
xo
I know you would be, Katie. Thank you. xoxo
I hate that you (and other women/men) are confronted to such an ennemi. I’d love to help you punch her in the face! Hang in there, Tonya. You WILL win the fight! Sending you all my love XOXO
I hope you’re right. I don’t know how much more fight I have in me.
Oh we would truly be a Perfect Posse to kick some Fertility God’s *ss, fertility my *ss.
And who made her God?
You go girl … fight the fight xxx
Thank you, lovely. I know you “get it” and would be there to cheer me on and throw in a punch of your own.
Oh Tonya, you WILL win this fight. Sending you love and hope. xoxo
Thanks, Kimberly. I’ll take both! xo
Kick her ass. You have the weight of many women behind your fists. And the “Why?” so simple and so heart-breaking. Thinking of you xo
Thank you, Angela. This post just flew out of me with very little editing. I love it when that happens. It’s rare, but wonderful.
Such a brilliant analogy. But, the best thing is YOU can win a fight. Let’s send infertility slinking away into the alley.
That’s the plan! 😉
Ohmygoodness you, this is so raw and powerful and makes me want to hug you BIG, or at the very least totally have your back in that alley.
(Stunning-ly written.)
I hammered these words out so hard that my fingertips actually hurt. I am that angry.
I definitely need backup. xoxo
Oh, my sweet friend…my greatest wish for you is to KICK HER ASS.
xoxo
I’m trying. You know I’m trying.
Tonya, so sorry to hear you are dealing with this. Hang in there.
Love Heather
Thanks, Heather. It has been a long two years. We’ll get there…. xo
A fight more worthwhile than some stupid college boy. We all have your back.
You know we have your back. Kick ass, girlfriend. And hang on in there. xo
I know you would kick ass in this fight and you would have support from so many others.
I would like a ticket to cheer you on. I have a feeling no one’s going to need to back you up. Kick that bitch’s ass, Tonya!
Oh my gosh, so powerful Tonya. I wish you didn’t have to fight this fight but I know you will win it. Sending a million hugs.
Sorry to hear this Tonya. I hope you beat infertility. Powerful writing though. Wow.
I’m so, so sorry that you are going through this. I hope you do kick infertility’s ass.
A beautiful piece for a horrible thing. Sending you much love.
I know the feeling. I HATE it. For you. For me. For a million others. It’s the strangest feeling to not have control of your own reproduction. I’m hoping I don’t fight with this bitch much longer, but even still, I have a feeling she’ll never leave my mind.
I wish you well and hope you find a resolution soon.
Tonya, I believe you are one scrappy biz anyway. But if you met this Infertility chick in an alley? She would die.
So hard.
You go girl. Love this. And I got your back.
I would be right there with you shoving and punching and scratching and ripping. You are such an incredibly strong woman and I am proud everyday to call you my sister.