Letters For Lucas

Wonders, Mishaps, Blunders and Joy.. commentary on my life as a mom in the form of letters to my son

Three Become Four

Posted on Written by

I am uncertain how or when it will happen, but we are working on it.

In the meantime, I can’t suppress the visions I have of Lucas being an older brother.

I am trying to enjoy right now, the time that I am able to devote solely to my first born, the time that includes just the three of us. I hope Lucas will remember this time too.

But, I do see him playfully bantering with a little sister or brother, invading their space and pushing buttons just to get a rise out them.

I see the sweat glistening on the two of their foreheads as they collapse in giggles on the couch after a long summer’s afternoon in the backyard.

I see him reaching out to grab her hand as we cross the street and nodding to me as if to say, “I’ll take care of her”.

I see him letting her win a round of Go Fish or Checkers, because that’s what big brothers do.  

I can hear the two of them pleading with me and their dad to let them stay up just a little longer because they are having too much fun to go to bed yet.

I see him helping his kid sister open a jar of jam for her toast as they rush around the kitchen trying to out the door for school.

I see him gently brushing the hair out of her eyes and a tear from her cheek after her first major heart break and then immediately vowing to kick the boy’s ass who did it.

I see the four of us sitting around our dining room sharing our highs and lows of the day, always supporting, sometimes challenging and deeply loving one another.

I would like to think that they’ll be close, my children; that they will gang up on their father and I as we vote on family vacation destinations, where to order take out, the naming of our pets and which movies to watch together. I hope that they will be there for one another in good times and in bad. Especially the bad.

Three become four.

I am uncertain how or when it will happen, but we are working on it…

Related Posts:

Comments

  7. My wish, my hope is that your dreams come true..that your three becomes four and it is the happiest, more amazing day. My prayers always include you and your heart’s desire my friend. I will smile and celebrate clap and cry with you when that dream comes true. Xoxoxo

    • I know you will, you are a good friend to me. Thank you, Kir. From the bottom of my heart. xoxo

    • They will gang up on me and much worse I am sure! I can’t wait.

      Remind me in a few years that I said that, okay? 🙂

  12. Good luck to you! I love my family of four. My girls get along so well and have since day one. You will have so many new wonderful memories together.

  13. This is beautiful, Tonya – but I fear you sentencing yourself to another boy :-p

    An aunt & uncle of mine had four boys. If you know my aunt, you just picture her the mother of a girl. Then, her oldest boy got married, and they got pregnant, and it was a boy. And then they had another boy. And then another boy. And then the second-oldest got married.

    And then the third-oldest got married.

    And then the youngest god married.

    And then the second-oldest’s wife had a baby girl.

    Their house is now pink. And my aunt is in heaven.

    • Another boy would be fine. Truth be told, I’d actually prefer it.

      A girl is what I NEED, but a boy would be perfect.

      And yes, there is a blog post in that statement somewhere… 🙂

  14. This is so sweet. I was an only child, so I’m fascinated in sibling interactions. Since we don’t have any kids yet, my hope for having more than one depletes a little each day, but like you, I’m hopeful to be able to observe the nuances of both two of my children someday. I hope things are going well. I should maybe know this already, but are you seeing an RE?

    • I am too. Fascinated by sibling interactions, that is. My sister is almost 12 years younger than I am so I, too was an only child for a long time.

      Yes, we have seen an RE (had two failed IVF cycles and are now seeking a second opinion). Stay tuned…

  15. Every post of yours I’ve read tells me you are destined to have more children. You were made to have more, meant to. I believe that. It’ll happen. And we’ll be here to congratulate you, enjoy it with you, and discuss the new territory that’ll be your fourness.

    • Thank you so much for your kind comments. I LOVE your enthusiasm and confidence.

      I do feel destined to be a mother of two too. 🙂

  18. Hang in there mama! My number two was very wished and longed for and he came in the perfect time. Not always *our* perfect time though and patience can be so hard!! I must say that my number 2 is also a boy and it is meant to be 🙂

    • Patience is so hard…. you hit the nail on the head with that one. Boy or girl, I really don’t care as long as they get here safe and sound. And soon. 🙂

  19. This is an amazing post, Tonya. I do not doubt that you will be four. somehow…some way. you will be four. Because the one who makes your family complete is still out there…in some form.

    Beautiful words from a beautiful soul.

  20. I love this post. I don’t know any other woman who would make a better mom of 2 (or more) than you. I wish there was something I could do for you, but until I think of it know that you’re in my thoughts.

    hugs

  23. This was just beautiful. You will be an amazing mother to two. I know it will happen for you. Soon.

    Sending love and good thoughts. xoxo

  28. This is so lovely. I insisted on having more than one child and I’m very glad I did. They do fight, but I know they also love each other.

    I hope you get what you want very soon!

  29. I hope for those things for you as well. I’m struggling with the ‘closeness’ thing with mine. They just don’t get along. At all. Except that sometimes they are best buds.

    • I know there will be times when they can’t stand each other, but at some point aren’t all siblings close to a certain extent?

  30. Lucas deserves to be a big brother just as much as you and Todd deserve to have another child. I hope with all my heart and soul that that happens for your family one of these days. I can totally picture him doing all those things with his sibling too. 🙂

  36. Oleh : Anasakina IsmailPanas! Itulah kata-kata yang dapat di ungkapkan oleh Keen. Mana tidaknya apabila matahari rasa seperti betul-betul di atas kepalanya. Tapi misinya harus dijalankan. Dia memandang kiri dan kanan memastikan tidak ada mata yang memerhatikannya.Setelah…Oleh : Ana AbdullahHanna jalan-jalan seluruh pusat membeli-belah yang besar itu. ‘bertuah punya abang. Orang ikut dia datang sini sebab bosan. Dah lah jalan dengan girlfriend dia, tinggal aku sorang-sorang pulak tu’, bebel Hanna di dalam hati. Skru…

  38. Oleh : Ayla Adam“Aku mencintaimu bukan kerana ketinggian 155 cm-mu,tetapi aku mencintaimu kerana Allah. Dia yang telah mengurniakan rasa cinta ini kepadaku buatmu,jodohku.”Aku Hawa Syuhara Binti Ismail Harun kini sah bergelar isteri kepada…

  40. Semester 4, aku yang baring diatas katil memandang kosong syiling diatas aku. Perasan ketika aku mula masuk semester baru tidak begitu seronok ini kerana aku terpaksa ditukarkan rumah. aku tidak lagi duduk bersama kakak-kakak yang sudah biasa dengan diriku selama setahun setengah. Namun aku tetap bersyukur kerana kau masih ditempatkan bersama kawan-kawan yang sama sekelas dengan diriku serta bebarapa pelajar yang lain yang belum aku mengenali. Aku mencapai hansetku. Nak message siapa niew??. Entah mengapa pada malam hari pertama aku disemester baru itu aku berasa sunyi sekali. Aku menekan-menekan hansetku, menaip apa yang aku rasa pada malam itu lalu aku tekan send dan nombor yang ku hantar adalah Rizky. Bisik hatiku buang tebiat ape aku niew..ehe..Tidak lama selepas itu tit..tit.. message dihansetku berbunyi menandakan ada message yang masuk. Laluku buka terpampang nama Rizky yang membalas message ku sebantar tadi. Tidak tahu mengapa aku yang tadinya berasa sunyi kini tidak lagi.

  41. Oleh : aiziqrhanaIbtisam separa sedar. Matanya separa terbuka. Fikirannya masih mamai. Dia pandang sekelilingnya. Ada juga ahkawat yang sudah tewas sepertinya. Ah, tidur dalam majlis ilmu pun pahala, kan? Dia memandang ustazah yang setia bicara di hadapan….

  44. Mak janganlah macam nie, Diera sanggup mak kalau itu yang boleh beri semua orang bahagia mak, tapi Abang Is macam mane? Adakah dia sanggup mak? Diera sanggup buat apa saja untuk mak dan keluarga kita mak…. Diera cuma ada mak, ayah dan abang… Diera sanggup mak, ayah….

  49. Oleh : Azi Nazmi“Pelik”. Itu sahaja yang mampu diungkap oleh Danial. Peluh kerana terlalu lama melakukan penyiasatan di bilik yang sempit itu . Mayat yang ditelitinya dalam keadaan yang mengerikan . Tiada kepala . Tiada sebarang bukti yang mengesahkan…

BlogWithIntegrity.com

What I Write About

a mother's guilt annoyances aunt leah birthdays blog books challenges conversations with Lucas DMB exercise family friends grandparents gratitude grief guest post holidays KRA Letters For You list loss love mama kat's writer's workshop memories me time milestones motherhood MSA NaBloPoMo parenthood parenting photos praise pregnancy2 question quotes SAHM school siblings simple joys TBW TDA bio travel update writing

Creative Kristi Designs