I made the leap from Blogger to WordPress in early August with a lot of help from Ashley of My Front Porch Swing and have turned to her more times than I care to admit since then with questions and utter freak outs over missing posts and widget help. Ashley, I am grateful to you and appreciate your patience with me. I still have have much to learn about WordPress!
Today, I am pleased to share Ashley’s loving letter to her daughter and I am particularly proud of her for stepping out of her guest posting comfort zone to write such a tender piece for my series.
My darling daughter,
What you won’t remember.
You won’t remember your fight to be here. The surgery when you were only halfway done. The hospitalizations that your sweet, loving brother took in stride. That your daddy worried through but during which stood strong. The terror, fear, and absolute determination to meet you grown and strong. Absolute gratification, relief, and complete joy that filled us all when you arrived – and were, indeed, fine.
You won’t remember your first time at the beach. The gulf’s breeze blew around us, the water just a bit too cold to enjoy. Snuggled deep inside a wrap tied to close to my heart, you were barely aware of your surroundings. You won’t remember the cool sand, the gull’s cries, or the waters lullaby.
You won’t remember your fight with pneumonia. The stark, white walls of the hospital. The compassion in your nurses eyes. You won’t remember me holding onto you so tight they had to pry my fingers just to set you down. You won’t remember the thousand prayers I sent up to those we lost, higher powers above, and anyone else who would listen.
You won’t remember your first steps. The strength, courage, and fearlessness in which you moved along. You won’t remember me sinking to my knees in wonder, delight, and trepidation that you were gaining independence. You won’t remember the tears on my face as I tried to commit every.single.second to memory while grabbing the first camera I could find.
You won’t remember my reluctance to leave you. In the beginning, the time I spent away from you was counted in minutes. The nervousness as I kissed you goodnight, and eventually goodbye when I finally gained the nerve to trust you would be all right. The tears I shed over being away from you and your brother will not register in your memories – but they are sure burned in mine.
You won’t remember the first time you said, “I love you”. When you gazed up into my eyes with such loyalty, affection, and adoration, I learned all over again the meaning of true love. There is no greater love than that of a child, and you won’t remember the thrill of joy and contentment that filled my heart when you spoke those three words.
You won’t remember the moments I thought of your life ahead, of the people you will meet, those you will love, the accomplishments you will achieve. You won’t remember the emotions that struggle to prevent me from completing my thoughts. You will build an abundance of memories and none of them will be lacking in love. You won’t remember the moment I wrote this with such conviction and belief in the amazing woman you are going to become.
Whatever the future brings, there is so, so much you won’t remember.
But even with all you won’t remember, I still hope you never forget.
I love you,
Mommy
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Oh Ashley…this is probably the most beautiful thing you’ve written. Made me hold my breath just a bit.
Oh Sherri, coming from you that is quite the compliment! You just made my day. Thank you.
Beautiful, Ashley. Just beautiful.
Thank you so much!
This was just beautiful. It caught my breath and brought tears to my eyes.
Thank you so much, I appreciate it!
I was a bit teary writing it myself, I must admit!
Ashley, I love this letter, it’s beautiful.
Thank you Alison!!
Ashley – I am crying here. Beautiful.
Thanks Tracy! xoxo
Words of such beauty!
What a lovely letter Ashley, you should work less and write more …
Ha! Thank you love. Of course, the whole bill-paying comes into play 🙂
I had to hold my breath through this. This is so utterly gorgeous and filled with love. Thank you for writing this and letting us share it with you.
Thank you Angela. I really appreciate your comment!
wow. what a beautiful, heartfelt, breath-taking piece. I’m blinking back tears at work reading this… thank you for sharing.
I had a few tears myself, I had to say! Thank you so much.
This is just beautiful, Ashley. Sounds like you’ve been through a lot. I wrote a post about the fact our kids won’t remember all these things… but luckily, they’ll know they are loved and that’s what counts.
The post also makes the so excited to hear Little Roo say I love you. He’s just now starting to say lots of words so I’m sure it’s coming. I just now that Big Roo randomly saying I love you is the best feeling in the world.
Thanks Melissa! It is amazing how much they won’t remember. I love hearing my daughter say I love you mommy. My son was such a late talker, and it took so long to hear some of these things from him!
I didn’t think I was going to make it through that without mascara filled tears running down my face. The lump in my throat was a little too uncomfortable to take. Beautiful words that left me thinking THAT is where I need to get back to. Forget the stress of everything that is going on and get back to the mom I’ve worked so hard on becoming. Thank you for that. I hope you are feeling well. Thanks so much for your inspiration. And for speaking the words I needed to hear.
Oh my goodness, thank you so much for your comment. Believe me, I understand the moments of stress and frustration- you are not alone. xoxo
Dammit, you just made me cry.
So lovely and perfect, as you are a lovely mom.
Thank you Gigi! That’s a compliment I’m honored to get from you xoxo
This is the most beautiful letter I’ve read & brought tears to my eyes. I hope that you save it for your daughter when she is older.
Aww, thank you so much Jackie!!
Ashley, this is just beautiful!
She may not remember, but she will never forget the love that surrounds her.
Thanks Evonne. That’s definitely a sentiment to hold on to!!
Ashley that was lovely. All those precious memories and you have recorded them. She may not remember, but you have made sure she can have them from you. Simply beautiful.
That was so lovely to read. And I love this idea. My oldest son battled pneumonia, too, when he was three years old. It was pretty bad, and he was in the hospital for two weeks and needed surgery and a chest tube. It was a nightmare. Thanks for sharing this.
Oh, I’m so sorry to hear about your son. It’s quite a battle watching them when they are so young fight something so awful. My daughter was only 8 months old, it nearly broke my heart!
Oh, Ashley, so lovely. I’ve thought about this a lot over the years, how we don’t remember a lot of our own early years and nor will our babies remember theirs. Somehow, though, it’s all in our hearts… Not as clear memories, but as feelings that we know to be true.
Well said, friend!
That’s such a good point Missy. You can only hope they at least hold onto the emotion.
This was so sweet! I loved every word.
Thanks Kelley!!
Ash, this is so beautiful!
Though I’m taking the easy way out and leaving a short comment b/c you already know how wonderful I think this post is. 🙂
Thank you! xoxo
What a beautiful, beautiful letter.
Thank you!
This is so absolutely beautiful! I am sitting here all teary eyed in my office. Hopefully no one notices. Thank you so much for sharing this with all of us.
Thank you! That is the best compliment I could hear 🙂
I think about this every time I do something with my kids. I have so few memories from when I was as little as they are, but it boggles my mind to think they won’t be able to remember. Each thing we do I hope that THIS will be what they remember. I tell my daughter every day how much I love her. Not so she knows now. Just so she’ll remember how much I’ve ALWAYS loved her when she gets older. Great post!
I know, it’s amazing how many of our memories they won’t recall. I think I’m going to take this exercise a bit further and write more, for both of my kids.
Just gorgeous. And inspires me to write the same kind of letter. Now she will always have this to remember.
It’s such a great concept Tonya has! I really need to write more, to both of my kids.
Ok, well that made me cry… so beautiful!!
I just melted reading this….the mom in me so aware of every word. This is a beautiful gift to give your child, giving them those “memories” ….and a gorgeous reminder that you’ll always remember. Thank you for sharing it..it was gorgeous!!!
Oh wow, this is a perfect letter from mom. What an amazing thing for her to read some day.
Such a touching post. I think I will do the same and write some things I think my kids won’t remember. Especially for my 6 yr. old. She thinks she knows and remembers everything. But you’re right. All that really matters is that they remember that we love them, right? No matter what!
She went through so much. You did too. What a wonderful letter to her!
You remember it all so you can tell the stories to her, and she will hang on your every word!
This is so beautiful! It made me get tears in my eyes. Thank you for sharing that.
Beautiful post Ashley. Even if your daughter doesn’t remember these moments she can always come back and read your words.
Oh my Ashley, this is gorgeous, lovely, sweet, tear-jerking- all of the good stuff!
Beautiful, ladies!
So beautiful, and I’m glad *we* remember, even if they don’t.
I love this. It is so beautiful.
And it totally reminds me that my children love to hear their “baby stories” and that I need to tell those stories more often.
this is just beautiful. It inspires me to write to my children.
Beautiful post. Sometimes I write letters to my children too…. Such tender words. Kristen @ http://www.alittlesomethingforme.com
That was lovely!
Beautiful letter Ashley!